


Protect Icarus

by waywardstardust



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Brotzly - Freeform, But also, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Angst, M/M, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt, Whump, all based on prompts, etc - Freeform, give it a shot, in some, side pairings too, todd brotzman/dirk gently - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-13 15:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 53,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardstardust/pseuds/waywardstardust
Summary: As requested, here is a collection of drabbles, all based on prompts I've gotten on tumblr (protecticarus, hence the title of this collection).Some are gen & some include a romantic relationship (Todd/Dirk mostly, but occasionally others too) which will be pretty clear from the prompt.Thank you so much for my tumblr followers for prompting, reading & liking these so far!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "All of the times Dirk kept asking Friedkin and the guards at Blackwing whether his friends are okay and they all refuse to answer."

**Day 1**

Dirk tried to take deep breaths with his eyes closed. He couldn’t believe he was in this room again. He promised himself he would never be here again. How could the universe let this happen?

Suddenly the door opened and Friedkin walked in with a smug smile on his face.

“Hello, Icarus.” Friedkin said, pronouncing the C as an S.

“What on earth is an Isarus?” Dirk replied.

“…You?” Friedkin replied, confused.

Dirk sighed. “You won’t use my own name and you can’t even bother to get my bloody lab rat codename correct?”  
Friedkin looked annoyed now.

“What, so, it’s Icarus? Like with a K?” Friedkin asked.

“Or you could call me Dirk.” Dirk shot back.

Friedkin ignored him.

“So, Icarus, we’ve got plans for yo-“

“Where are my friends?” Dirk interrupted.

“What?” Friedkin replied.

“My friends. Todd. Farah. Amanda. Where are they? Are they alright? Did you do something to them?” Dirk asked.

“You’re not in the position to ask questions here, Icarus.” Friedkin simply said and gestured for someone to open the door to Dirk’s room and let him out.

“No, wait! You have to tell me! Are they alright? Friedkin!” Dirk tried desperately to get Friedkin’s attention.

“Good night, Icarus.” He replied before stepping out into the hallway, the door clicking shut behind him.

Dirk was alone again.

 

**Day 9**

“Wrong.” The machine called out again. Dirk had been stuck in this experiment for what felt like hours already. He tried to bite back his frustration. This is NOT how things worked.

“Really, Icarus, you should work with us on this.” Friedkin’s voice came in over the PA system.

“Is Todd alright?” Dirk demanded to know. “Farah? Amanda? Are they alright?”

“Complete the experiment or you get more punishments.” Friedkin replied.

“Are my friends alright?” Dirk stood his ground.

Another shock shot through him.

 

**Day 13**

Friedkin stood at the doorway of Dirk’s room, hands folded over his chest, annoyance clear in his eyes.

“Why are you not eating, Icarus?” He asked.

“Why are you not telling me whether my friends are alright?” Dirk shot back.

Friedkin was getting tired of this game. He stomped next to Dirk’s bed which the detective was currently sitting on.

“I suggest you shut the hell up about your so called friends and start complying with the rules here! You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t!” Friedkin threatened.

“No, I don’t. I want to know if my friends are alright.” Dirk replied.

Friedkin sighed and rubbed his temples.

“Fine, starve, see if I care.” He said and stomped out of the room.

Dirk went back to staring at the wall. Sure, Friedkin didn’t care about his wellbeing, but he did care about him staying alive. After all, there are no experiments without the subject.

 

**Day 15**

As expected, the door to Dirk’s room flew open right after lunch time. Dirk smiled to himself.

“Icarus. Start eating.” Friedkin basically growled.

“Is Todd alright?” Dirk asked.

“Icarus, I swear-“

“Are Farah and Amanda alright?”

“You know what? You won’t eat? Fine. We’ll get nutrients in you another way.” Friedkin growled and walked out.

“My friends better be okay!” Dirk shouted after him.

 

**Day 18**

After three days of nutrients through an IV, Dirk gave up. Nothing was changing and he was starving all the time. It was time for a different approach.

 

**Day 23**

“I’m not psychic.” He explained for maybe the 800th time.

“Yes, you are.” Friedkin fought him over the PA system.

“If I was, I’d know what you’ve done with my friends.” Dirk argued.

“Do not start that again!” Friedkin groaned.

“Imagine how much easier it would be if you just told me.” Dirk tried to reason with him.

“Just answer the damn questions on the screen.” Friedkin replied.

Dirk sighed. He clicked an answer and immediately got the “Wrong!” And a splash of paint in his face.

“Really, Icarus, just-“

“I can’t help it! I am not psychic! I am not a machine! I am a person!” Dirk exploded.

“Calm down, subject, or you’ll suffer the consequences.” Came Friedkin’s voice.

Dirk sighed, fighting back tears. “Just please tell me if my friends are alright…” He begged at the two-way-mirror on the wall, which remained silent.

 

**Day 30**

Everything repeated in the same pattern.

Experiments that lead nowhere.  
Shocks and paint thrown at him.  
Friedkin insisting that he was failing on purpose.  
Dirk falling asleep in the early hours of the morning, exhausted and in pain.  
Dirk asking for his friends.

Really, all he needed was a “yes, they’re fine, now shut up”, and he would’ve been happy.  
But he got nothing.

Dirk couldn’t shake the image of his Todd being held up in a cell like this because of him.  
Strong Farah being held prisoner once again.  
Sweet Amanda denied even the little freedom she had.

Every day, he would ask for information about his friends.  
And every day, he was left expecting the worst.

 

**Day 39**

“Icarus, this is getting old.” Friedkin said over the PA. Dirk was furious.

“I told you, I can’t predict the bloody patterns! I am not-“

“For the love of God, stop saying that!” Friedkin interrupted him.

“Then start believing it!” Dirk screamed back.

Friedkin sighed into the mic. “Just try.”

“I am.” Dirk replied.

“Try harder.” Came the response.

“I’m telling you I’m doing the best-“

“COMPLY, SUBJECT!” Friedkin yelled.

“TELL ME IF MY FRIENDS ARE ALRIGHT!” Dirk yelled back.

He was met with silence. He felt desperate.

“Please, please just tell me what you’ve done with them… Please. I need to know.” Dirk begged.

The lights turned off in the small room and the door opened to reveal a security guard, ready to escort him back to ‘his room.’

 

**Day 45**

“Icarus, begin the experiment.”

“Is Todd alright?”

“Begin.”

“Is Farah alright?”

“Icarus.”

“What about Amanda?”

“I’m warning you, subject.”

“Tell me they’re alright.”

“Very well.”

Shock.

 

**Day 48**

“Comply.”

“Tell me.”

“Comply.”

“Tell me!”

Shock.

 

**Day 51**

“Rise and shine, Icarus, time for your first experiment of the day.” Came a voice, bringing Dirk into the dim reality.  
A security guard was standing at his door.

“Do you know if my friends are alright?” Dirk asked in a quiet voice.

“You sure can’t let that go, can you?” The guard asked in an amused voice. Then he gestured for Dirk to move.

Dirk sighed and got out of bed.

 

**Day 57**

Friedkin explained the new experiment to Dirk. Dirk did not like the sound of it.

“Any questions?” Friedkin asked.

“Are my friends alright or not?” Dirk asked.

Friedkin pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to walk out of the room.

“Do you not love anyone or anything!?” Dirk screamed after him. Friedkin continued to walk “If you did, you would understand that I NEED TO KNOW!” Dirk continued to scream but once again, was met with nothing but silence.

Until the PA system was turned on.

“Begin the experiment.”

 

**Day 61**

Dirk lay in bed, once again thinking about his life before all freedom had been ripped from him once again.

Right now, he could be running a detective agency. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.  
With Todd. His best friend, Todd. God, he missed Todd.

Farah would have helped them get it started. Farah actually cared about the agency too.

Amanda would drop in, having made up with Todd, to tell them about her adventures with the Rowdy 3 and make them all laugh.

He and Todd would go on crazy adventures themselves.

“Lights out.” Came a voice over the PA system.

Dirk wanted to ask about his friends again. Beg to know if they were alright. Maybe even lie about having lied about being a psychic. Agree to do whatever it takes if he just could know how his friends were doing.

But Dirk was losing hope.

He’d lost count of how many days or weeks, maybe even months had passed since he was captured.

Maybe they refused to tell him because his friends were, in fact, not alright. Maybe they knew Dirk would not cooperate if he knew they’d been hurt. Dirk started to feel like he might never see them again.

Maybe only a week is what the universe allowed Dirk with the people he had come to love. Maybe that’s all he deserved.

Little did he know, he would find himself standing in front of Todd and Farah very soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Love confessions during an argument. i cant ever get enough of those ajdjkx"

“What the hell were you thinking!?” Todd yelled while he closed the front door after him.  


“I didn’t have much time to think to be honest, but I knew something had to be done!” Dirk, having ran in before Todd, replied from across the room.  


“You weren’t thinking! Why does that not surprise me!” Todd scoffed.  


“Well I wasn’t going to let those guys get away, Todd, they are vital in the case!” Dirk replied in a tone suggesting how obvious his logic should be to Todd.  


“They had weapons, Dirk!”  


“So did I!”  


“They had guns! You had a stick!” Todd screamed, frustrated at how Dirk couldn’t understand the danger he had been in.  


“It was at least a small branch-“  


“Dirk!”  


“Fine! Yes, it was risky, but-“ Dirk tried to reason but Todd wouldn’t hear it.  


“Risky!? That was more than risky! You took on several armed men for, what? A case! Do you not value your life at all!?” Todd challenged Dirk.  


Dirk sighed. “I had it under control.” Dirk explained.  


“You did not! If I hadn’t pushed you away, you’d be laying in a hospital bed right now! Or better yet, in a morgue!” Todd screamed.  


“Oh don’t be dramatic, Todd…” Dirk said.  


“Oh I’M dramatic now, am I?” Todd scoffed.  


“Alright, well, I see where you’re coming from but everything turned out fine, didn’t it? I’m sorry I put you in danger but I assure you I would never-“  


“Wait, you think I’m angry at you for putting me in danger?” Todd interrupted Dirk’s almost apology.  


“…Yes?” Dirk confirmed, confused.  


“Jesus Christ, Dirk.” Todd sighed.  


“Well, most people aren’t generally that fond of danger.” Dirk defended his reasoning.  


“If I wanted to be sure to avoid danger, I wouldn’t be friends with you, Dirk.” Todd replied.  


“Fair point.” Said Dirk. “Then why are you so bloody aggravated with me then?”  


“Because you put yourself in danger, you idiot!” Todd yelled.  


“Wh- How is that any different?” Dirk asked.  


Todd sighed. “I know dangerous situations are a part of the job, Dirk, but you didn’t need to go and put yourself in the line of fire! You should’ve taken different action!” Todd explained.  


“But I couldn’t let those men escape from us again!” Dirk exclaimed.  


“I think your life is a bit more important, Dirk!” Todd said.  


“Well I don’t!” Dirk replied.  


“Are you- You have got to be freakin’ kidding me!” Todd exclaimed.  


“I’m just saying that it was vital to the case-“  


“Oh forget the damn case, Dirk! This is not about the case!” Todd interrupted.  


“Of course it is! It’s the most important factor here!” Dirk argued.  


“Not to me, it’s not!” Todd argued back.  


“What on earth could be more important than the case!?” Dirk demanded to know.  


“You!” Was Todd’s reply.  


Dirk froze. He didn’t know how to react. That was not what he had expected for Todd to say. No one had ever cared enough about Dirk to put him before other things.  
“Well. I appreciate it, Todd, but really, solving this case helps people so-“  


“I don’t damn well care! I care that you don’t get yourself hurt or killed solving it!” Todd yelled.  


“Why?” Dirk asked, genuinely wanting to understand what someone could see in him to make him so important in their eyes.  


“Because I love you, you absolute moron!” Todd exclaimed.  


Dirk’s eyes widened. “Wh-what?”  


Todd seemed to have realized what he said only after saying it. “I… I care about you.” He backtracked.  


“That’s not what you said.” Dirk replied, still very confused.  


“I, uh…” Todd muttered.  


“You said-“  


“I know what I said!”  


They both stood silent for a moment.  


“It’s alright, Todd. Heat of the moment. I understand that. Let’s forget about it.” Dirk finally said.  


“What?” Todd replied, stunned.  


“It’s alright! I know you didn’t mean-“  


“Oh my God, Dirk.”  


“What?”  


“Of course I meant it. Of course it wasn’t heat of the moment. Jesus, you thinking that makes it so much worse.” Todd sighed.  


“I… Really do not understand what’s happening.” Dirk said very slowly.  


Todd let out a humorless laugh. Then he took a deep breath.  


“I just… I didn’t mean to blurt it out. I didn’t mean to tell you at all, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. I was hoping it would never come up and I could take it to my grave but… I can’t believe you wouldn’t believe me. That’s just… Sad.” Todd ranted.  


“So… What you’re saying is, that you do… you know…” Dirk tried to make sense of the situation, but couldn’t bring himself to say the words.  


“Love you? Yeah. Yeah, of course I do.” Todd sighed.  


“Of course?” Dirk questioned.  


Todd sighed again and took a few steps to stand right in front of Dirk.  


“Yes. Of course. You’re… great. Incredible. I just… Didn’t know how to deal with it. Still don’t, like I said, I wasn’t gonna say anything… But yeah. Yeah, of course I do.” Todd explained. Dirk tried to fight the moisture gathering behind his eyes. “And though you deserve much, much better than me, I do wish you’d believe me when I say I love you. I don’t deserve you, but you do deserve to be loved and cared for. You so deserve to be loved, Dirk.” Todd continued.  


A tear slipped from Dirk’s eye. “Well that’s just bullshit, Todd.” He said after a while.  


“What?” Todd asked, stunned and frankly, scared.  


“You can’t give me a speech about me not understanding my worth and then say I deserve better than you?” Dirk explained.  


“Well, I mean-“  


“No. If I have to accept that you love me and that I deserve that love, then you have to do the same.” Dirk said.  


Todd opened his mouth to argue but then realization dawned on him. “Wait. Are you saying-“  


“That I love you too? Yes, of course.” Dirk replied.  


The brightest smile took over Todd’s face. Dirk’s mirrored his perfectly.  


Suddenly, they both started laughing. The situation was ridiculous. Neither of them had expected for this to be the outcome of their argument.  


After they managed to gather themselves enough to stop laughing hysterically, Todd took Dirk’s hand in his and spoke up again. “Okay. I won’t fight you on my worth or lack there of on one condition.”  


“Name it.” Dirk replied instantly.  


“You try not to get fucking killed again.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Amanda waiting for Todd to go to bed and less than subtly asking Dirk how he feels about Todd because it's super obvious to her."

Todd Brotzman‘s apartment had gone quiet. The only source of sound was the movie playing quietly on the TV.  


Amanda glanced at her brother at the other end of the couch, who was obviously fighting sleep, his head seemingly too heavy for him to hold up at this point of the night.  


She also noticed that she wasn’t the only one looking at Todd.  


Dirk kept looking at him from the corner of his eye when he wasn’t watching the movie.  


This wasn’t the first time Amanda noticed Dirk’s eyes lingering on Todd either. Actually, recently she had been paying extra attention to how Dirk acted around Todd. Dirk seemed to always be aware of Todd’s presence, his body always gravitating towards his whenever they were in the same room, some part of him always aware of Todd. The love the eccentric detective held for her brother was obvious to anyone with eyes. Of course, Amanda was sure that Todd had no idea, but that’s just because Todd was as oblivious as a toddler when it came to human emotions.  


“Okay, I can barely keep my eyes open.” Todd interrupted Amanda’s musings. “I’m gonna go hit the sack. You guys can finish the movie, just don’t make too much noise?” He said as he got up from the couch and made his way toward his bedroom.  


“Sleep well, Todd!” Dirk exclaimed after him.  


“Night you guys.” Todd replied, closing the door behind him.  


Amanda saw her opportunity to get some info from Dirk.  


“Should we be here while the host has gone to bed? I’m still learning about picking up on social clues I’m afraid.” Dirk said.  


Amanda smiled. Dirk was adorable. What he saw in her brother was beyond her.  


“He said we could finish the movie. It’s okay.” Amanda assured him.  


“Alright then.” Dirk replied, turning back towards the tv.  


“I thought we could talk while watching the movie. How about that?” Amanda asked.  


Dirk seemed excited about this plan.  


“Alright! Isn’t it interesting? Personally I think the main character has-“  


“Actually I thought we could talk about something other than the movie.” Amanda explained.  


“Oh, alright. Anything specific in mind?” Dirk asked.  


“How about… People?” Amanda asked, trying to figure out how to lead the conversation where she wanted it.  


“People? Sure. I like people. Well some of them. Not all of them I guess. Though they sure are fascinating.” Dirk rambled.  


Amanda tried not to laugh. She found it funny how Dirk referred to people as if he wasn’t one of them.  


“Or, maybe, how about we talk about my brother?” Amanda asked.  


“Oh. What about Todd?”  


“How do you feel about my brother, Dirk?” Amanda decided to get to the point.  


“What do you mean?” Dirk asked.  


“It’s a pretty clear question, Dirk.” Amanda smirked.  


“Right. Well, he’s great. He’s a fantastic assistant. Well, most of the time. And he’s my best friend. He’s the best best friend. Well, I’ve never had one before, but I’m quite convinced that he’s the best.” Dirk explained.  


Amanda fought the urge to roll her eyes. Dirk really did think highly of her brother. “Right, okay. What about other than work, other than the buddy buddy?” Amanda asked.  


Dirk looked confused. “What do you mean?” He asked.  


Amanda thought about how to approach the question, but decided to go with the blunt method. It was her forte, after all.  


“Dirk, are you in love with my brother?”  


Dirk seemed to choke on air for a moment. “Wh-what?” He stuttered.  


“Again, it’s a pretty clear question.” Amanda teased.  


“Right. I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” Dirk muttered.  


“Well you should’ve been.”  


“What? Why?”  


“Dirk, you look at Todd like the sun shines out of his ass. Honestly, you look like a love sick puppy most of the time he’s around.” Amanda explained.  


Dirk fell quiet for a moment. He shifted his gaze to his hands laying on his lap. He looked upset.  
“Is it really that obvious?” He whispered finally.  


Amanda scooted closer to him on the couch and placed her hand on his.  
“Dude, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to call you out. And I’m not making fun of you either. I just wanted to hear what you had to say about it and… You know you can talk to me, right?” She said.  


“I do know that, Amanda. And I appreciate it. I guess I just haven’t given… That, a lot of thought.” Dirk explained.  


“Okay. Well, how do you feel about it? If you think about it?” Amanda asked.  


Dirk thought for a moment.  
“Scared.” Came his reply.  


“Why?” Amanda asked.  


Dirk sighed. “I’ve never had a best friend before. I like having a best friend. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to ruin what we have. And he’s a very… Guarded person. I don’t want him to…”  


“You think he’ll get mad or something?” Amanda tried to make sense of what Dirk was saying.  


“Or something.” Dirk confirmed.  


“Look, Dirk, my brother is not the greatest person, trust me, I am far from his biggest fan right now, but he’s not… Mean or evil, you know? An asshole? Yes. But not mean. He cares about you. That much is obvious. And honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt the same way.” Amanda explained.  


Dirk’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, don’t say that.”  


“Why?”  


“It’s not fair. Don’t place false hope in my head. He’s been kind enough to accept me into his life as a friend, I’m not expecting anything more.” Dirk said.  


Amanda sighed. “Okay, fair enough. But… You didn’t know him before. He’s changed. You’ve changed him. He’s much more… Kind and understanding. Much more honest, now. And that’s because of you. And he knows it too. He does care about you. I’ve never seen him care about anyone like he cares about you. I’m just saying… You never know.” She explained.  


Dirk seemed to contemplate on this.  


“And I mean, I always did get the kind of ‘not totally straight’ vibe from Todd.” Amanda said, trying to lighten the mood.  


Dirk let out a laugh. “Thank you, Amanda. I’ll… I’ll give it some more thought. Maybe. Just please, do not say anything. To anyone. Especially Todd!” Dirk pleaded.  


“Of course not!” Amanda assured him and patted his hand.  


Dirk smiled in response.  


“I’m just saying… There’s a lot worse people I could think of to have as a brother-in-law.” Amanda winked.  


“Oh god.” Dirk laughed awkwardly.  


Amanda started laughing at her own remark and soon they were both giggling loudly.  


Suddenly Todd’s bedroom door opened and he appeared in the doorway, wearing only a Mexican Funeral t-shirt and a pair of boxers.  
“Guys, that’s definitely making noise!” He groaned.  


Dirk and Amanda responded by giggling even harder.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Todd walking in on Dirk confessing his feelings for Todd to the kitten shark."

Dirk smiled at the kitten at his feet, who had followed him into Todd’s living room.

The little - but deadly - creature had become quite attached to Dirk since he adopted her. Some (Todd) might argue that he stole her, but Dirk saw it as giving her a good home since her last one had been, well, soul-swapping almost immortal bad guys.

“Essie, no, that’s Todd’s.” Dirk told the cat as he saw her playing with what seemed to be Todd’s sock.  
He bent down to pick up the sock.

“He still hasn’t completely warmed up to you, let’s not give him any reasons to get angry at you.” Dirk told the kitten.

She just looked up at Dirk and waved her tail in slow back and forth motion.

Dirk had half a mind to give the sock back to the kitten. Despite being a feline, she had the most convincing puppy dog eyes Dirk had ever seen.  
  


"I’m sorry, Essie.” He told the cat.

Essie, which came from the letters SC, representing shark and cat - for obvious reasons - was the name Dirk and Todd had decided on after a long debate on what to call the kitten.

 

 

_“He has to have a name, Todd!” Dirk argued._

  
_“He’s a she, Dirk.” Todd responded, not lifting his gaze from his guitar he was currently tuning._

  
_Dirk glanced at the kitten. “Pardon me.” He told her. The kitten didn’t seem very offended by Dirk misgendering her._  
_“Either way, we can’t not name her!” Dirk exclaimed._

  
_“Fine, name her, I don’t see how I have to be involved?” Todd replied._

  
_“It’s a big responsibility to name a being, Todd! And she is kind of ours!” Dirk argued._

  
_“You stole the cat from a crime scene and brought it to my apartment. It’s your cat.” Todd mumbled._

  
_“Her.” Dirk corrected Todd. “And yes, while all that’s true, we have both been caring for her since. She basically lives in your apartment half the time!”_

  
_Todd sighed, but decided not to argue that that was the case only because Dirk would bring her with him every time he appeared in Todd’s apartment, which was often._

  
_“So, a name. Something to do with her special breed of fish and cat maybe?” Dirk mused. “Shark and kitty. Shitty?” He thought out loud._

  
_Todd cringed and opened his mouth to protest but Dirk held up his hand to prevent him from commenting._  
_“Yes, I heard it. What about… Shark and cat… shat?”_

  
_“That’s literally the past tense of ‘shit’, Dirk.” Todd commented._

  
_Dirk patted the kitten’s head. “Well you are made up of a very unfortunate combo of animals when it comes to the names, girl.”_

  
_“What about just letters?” Todd suggested._

  
_“Hmm… Like SC, for shark and cat?” Dirk said._

  
_“Sure. Or Essie. E-S-S-I-E. A proper name but it sounds like SC.” Todd mused._

  
_“Essie! That’s wonderful! Fantastic assisting, Todd!” Dirk exclaimed and patted Todd on the shoulder. Then he turned to the kitten. Essie. “Hello, Essie! Welcome to the family!”_

 

 

“Let’s put Todd’s sock back to where it belongs before he comes back, yeah?” Dirk said and went to put the sock back in the laundry basket he assumed the kitten had taken it out of.

  
Todd had gone out to meet up with Amanda, but Dirk had remained in Todd’s apartment.

  
It had become quite a regular occurrence for Dirk to be spending time at Todd’s apartment, no matter the circumstances. Dirk preferred Todd’s apartment to his own and quite frankly, Todd’s company to, well, everything else.

  
“Though, I do think he just pretends to be so grumpy about your presence. I do believe he secretly likes you, Essie.” Dirk said and sat down on the couch. Dirk had gotten into the habit of talking to the kitten, which really just was him thinking out loud.

  
Essie jumped onto the couch next to Dirk.

  
“He was the same way with me, too. Or, perhaps still is. We just have to be persistent, don’t we Essie?” Dirk said, patting Essie as she purred.

  
“I’m sure he would’ve kicked us out if he really wanted to. He’s too kind to do that. He likes to pretend to be grumpy about everything, but really, he’s a good person.” Dirk rambled.  
“We’re lucky to have him, aren’t we?”

  
Essie climbed on Dirk’s lap and Dirk leaned back to rest against the back of the couch.

  
“We both were around quite horrendous people before Todd, weren’t we?” Dirk continued.  
“I still find it hard to believe where I am now. I surely did not expect to have a best friend only a short while ago. I’ve been very lucky.” Dirk almost whispered.

  
Essie seemed to be falling asleep on Dirk’s lap.

  
“Of course, in an ideal situation I wouldn’t be in love with said best friend, but we can’t have it all, now can we? I just hope I won’t ruin it. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.” Dirk kept talking. “Love is quite complicated isn’t it? This is the first time I’ve personally ever been in love so I’m quite out of my depth here. And you’re a cat.” Dirk sighed. “What should I do, Essie?” He asked the kitten.

  
“Maybe you should talk to me instead of the cat?” Todd’s voice suddenly came from behind Dirk.

  
Dirk physically jumped at the sound, scaring poor Essie and making her run to the other side of the room.

  
“Bloody hell, Todd!” Dirk exclaimed, jumping up from the couch and turning to face Todd who was standing at the front door. “You should knock!”

  
“This is my apartment?” Todd responded.

  
“Yes, well.” Dirk mumbled. “How long have you been standing there?” He asked.

  
“Since the ‘he just likes to pretend to be grumpy’ part.” Todd replied.

  
“Oh bloody hell.” Dirk whispered.

  
Todd walked further into the apartment and came to stand next to Dirk.  
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Todd said.

  
“That’s alright. Or, well, not really, for I’m horribly embarrassed right now.” Dirk replied.

  
Todd smiled. “Don’t be.” He said.

  
“Why not? Not only was I talking to a kitten, you just heard me say… Well, you know.” Dirk explained.

  
“Talking to a cat is not the weirdest thing I’ve witnessed you do, Dirk. And besides, I’m glad I heard what I heard.” Todd replied.

  
“You- you are?” Dirk asked, completely flabbergasted. He had been afraid Todd would be uncomfortable or even angry.

  
“Yeah. I am.” Todd said.

  
“Why?” Dirk asked.

  
Todd laughed. “Seriously, Dirk?” He asked and Dirk just stared at him, confused as ever.

  
“Dude, I let you basically live with me and somehow co-parent a cat with you. I don’t even like cats? You really think I don’t feel the same way about you?” Todd explained.

  
Dirk opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to figure out what to say. Finally the reality of the situation sunk in.  
“Oh Todd. I’m a terrible detective!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Dirk asking awkward questions trying to test the waters and see if Todd even likes guys?"

“Todd.” Dirk tried to get his friend’s attention. Todd ignored him. He knew Dirk was just bored and he was actually trying to focus on the newspaper.

  
“Todd.”

  
Todd read the same sentence for the third time.

  
“Todd.”

  
“Oh my God, Dirk, what?” Todd finally gave up and put the paper down.

  
“I’m bored.”

  
“No shit?”

  
“Todd.”

  
“I swear to God if you say my name one more time without following it up with anything, I will feed you to the shark in the cat.” Todd replied.

  
“You’re grumpy today.” Dirk said.

  
“I’m grumpy everyday. You’re annoying today.” Todd replied.

  
“I’m annoying everyday.” Dirk smirked.

  
“Did you have something you wanted or was it just to annoy me?” Todd sighed.

  
“I want to play a game.” Dirk explained.

  
“A game? This isn’t one of those games I literally have to run for my life at the end of, is it? I can’t do that shit again.” Todd said.

  
Dirk snorted. “No. A normal game.”

  
“Somehow I doubt that…” Todd retorted but Dirk ignored him.

  
“20 questions.” Said Dirk.

  
Todd lifted his eyebrows. “Seriously?”

  
“Yes?” Dirk replied.

  
“That is a lot more ordinary than I expected.” Todd laughed.

  
“I’m not all government fugitive psychic time traveller all the time, you know.” Dirk smiled.

  
“Could’ve fooled me.” Todd laughed. “Fine, let’s play 20 questions. Even though we’re not 15-year-old girls.”

“There’s an age limit?” Dirk questioned.

  
“Let’s just play, Dirk.”

  
“Okay. First question… Oh! I know! How much older than Amanda are you?” Dirk asked.

  
“Oh. That’s… Simple. 12 Years.” Todd replied.

  
“Starting with the easy ones, of course! 12 years is a lot. No wonder you’re so protective of her.” Dirk said softly. “Alright, question number two! Hmm-“

  
“Wait, isn’t it my turn?” Todd interrupted.

  
“Why?” Dirk asked.

  
“Don’t we take turns?”

  
Dirk thought for a moment. “Do we have to?”

  
“What, you ask all the questions and I just answer? That’s an interview, Dirk.” Todd laughed.

  
“Well, I’m much more interested in learning about you than talking about myself.” Dirk replied somewhat shyly.

  
Todd was going to argue that that was always the case; Dirk was very curious but rarely shared anything personal apart from opinions and things that excited him. He had been surprised to realize how little he knew about Dirk’s life before they’d met. But what he did know, he knew was not pleasant. So he decided not to push. He wanted to learn more about Dirk, but not by pressuring him. Definitely not in a game of 20 Questions…

  
Todd sighed. “Fine. You ask, I answer.”

  
Dirk’s face lit up. “Wonderful!”

  
Todd smiled back at him. “Go on.”

  
“Alright, question number two: What was the name of your first band?” Dirk asked.

  
Todd blushed. “Oh God.”

  
“There are consequences if you don’t answer, you know!” Dirk teased.

  
“Yeah, yeah. Okay. My first band was called ‘rejects at recess.” Todd replied, looking down at his hands on the table.

  
“I don’t get it?” Dirk said.

  
“Recess as in a break between classes where kids go out to play or whatever. And we were… Well, honestly, just lame, but we thought we were like… Too cool for the rest of the kids or something.” Todd explained awkwardly.

  
Dirk stared at him for a moment and then burst into laughter.  
“Todd. That’s awful!”

  
“I’m aware, thanks.” Todd replied. “In my defense, I was like, 11.”

  
Dirk calmed down eventually. “Oh God. Alright. Question number three-“

  
“You don’t have to introduce them by number every time.” Todd commented.

  
“How else am I going to keep track of how many I’ve asked?” Dirk simply replied.

  
“Question number three: At what age did you get your first kiss?”

  
Todd was a bit surprised by the question.  
“Uhm. 12.” Todd replied.

  
“So soon after ‘rejects at recess?’ Who would’ve thought.” Dirk commented.

  
“Oh my God, shut up.” Todd replied but had to hide a smile.

  
Dirk just smirked at him. “Question number four: When was your last relationship?”

  
Todd sensed a theme in the questions.  
“Uhm. Like an actual, longer term relationship?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk nodded.

  
“Uhm. Well it’s been a while. I was still with the Mexican Funeral. So. At least 6 years. It must be 7 already.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk looked like he was processing the information.  
“Alright. What about a less, ahem, long term relationship?” Dirk asked.

  
“Question five?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes, sure.”

  
“Uh well… Right before Amanda got sick, I guess. I haven’t… Gotten around much since.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk nodded, thoughtful.  
“Would you want to?” He finally asked.

  
“Want to… What?” Todd asked him in return.

  
“To, you know… ‘Get around’ or whatever. Have someone.” Dirk said.

  
“I… I don’t know. I’m not very good with… People.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk laughed awkwardly. “I can understand that.”

  
Todd let out a laugh as well. “Yeah. Aren’t we a pair.”

 

Dirk looked like he was blushing a little but moved on quickly. “Ahem, alright, next question… Uh, did you ever love any of your, er, significant others?”

  
Todd thought for a moment. It didn’t surprise him that he ended up on ‘no’, but it did upset him a bit. Was he even capable of love?

  
“No, I don’t think I did.” He replied.

  
“Oh.” Was Dirk’s response. Then he continued. “Have you ever slept with someone and regretted it afterwards?”

  
Todd was taken aback. He didn’t expect Dirk to ask about sex?  
“Uh. Honestly, yes.” Todd answered.

  
“Why? I mean, why did you regret it?” Dirk asks.

  
Todd gathered his thoughts. “It just wasn’t… I wasn’t thinking. You know, drunk and lonely at night and then awkward and unnecessarily complicated in the morning.” Todd explained.

Dirk didn’t seem to know what he meant.  
“I see.” He still replied.

  
“Wasn’t about her though. Really more about me regretting my own stupidness.” Todd added.

  
Dirk lifted his eyes to meet Todd’s. He seemed to be picking Todd’s words apart in his head. Todd tried to figure out why he was so thoughtful over this piece of information.

  
“Next question.” Dirk said after a while. “Have you ever been attracted to someone you didn’t expect to be attracted to?”

  
Todd blinked a few times. That was a very… interesting question. “What do you mean?”

  
Dirk shrugged. “You know, have you ever been attracted to someone and then thought ‘huh where did that come from?’”

  
“Uhm. I guess?” Todd answered. It seemed like Dirk was looking for a specific answer.

Dirk moved on.  
“Alright. Hmm… How about… How would you feel if, say, Amanda wasn’t heterosexual?” Dirk asked.

  
Todd furrowed his brows. “What do you mean how would I feel?”

  
“I don’t know. Would that bother you?” Dirk said.

  
Todd looked a bit offended. “No, of course not! Why would it?”

  
Dirk shrugged again. “I don’t know. Bothers some folks.”

  
“Would it bother you?” Todd asked in return.

  
Dirk gave him an amused smile. “No. It would not.”

  
“Okay.”

  
Dirk didn’t seem to be able to control his smile for a moment but then moved onto the next question.  
“Have you ever questioned your sexuality?”

  
Todd squinted his eyes a bit at his friend. Dirk was definitely after something specific.  
“Uh, yeah, sure. Doesn’t everyone?” Todd answered, purposefully not giving too much away.

  
“I don’t know. Do they?” Dirk commented.

  
“They?” Todd asked.

  
“What?”

  
“‘They’ not ‘we’?”

  
“Fine, we.”

  
They were both quiet for a moment, both trying to read the other person’s mind.

  
“That all the questions?” Todd asked.

  
“Oh no. I still have eight left.” Dirk answered.  
“Number thirteen: have you ever kissed another man?” Dirk asked, his voice less confident than before.

  
Todd tried hard not to smile. Dirk wasn’t being very subtle at this point. Todd wondered if he was just curious or if it was… Something else.  
“Uh, yeah, you know. College.” He replied.

  
Dirk nodded. “I see.”

  
“Yeah, the only time I ever kissed a guy was really a weird friend/experiment thing.” Todd explained. Dirk looked uncomfortable.  
“I’ve never actually kissed a guy I like.” Todd added.

  
Dirk looked surprised. “What does that mean?” He asked.

  
“Question number fourteen?” Todd teased.

  
Dirk made a face. “Fine. Question number fourteen: what the hell does that mean?”

  
Todd laughed. “That yes, I have kissed a dude but it didn’t mean anything. No, I haven’t kissed a dude that it would mean something with.” He explained.

  
“Meaning that there are no ‘dudes’ it would mean something with or you just haven’t kissed one?” Dirk asked.

  
Todd opened his mouth but Dirk held up his hand to silence him. “And yes, that’s question number fifteen.”

  
Todd smirked. “Meaning I haven’t kissed a guy it would mean something with.”

  
Dirk took a deep breath. “But you could? Theoretically?”

  
“Is question number sixteen whether I could be attracted to a guy?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes.” Dirk replied.

  
“Yes, I could be. Can be.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk blushed. Todd had a feeling these questions weren’t just curiosity. He found himself feeling very relieved about this discovery. Oh hell, this was adorable.

  
“So you’re, what? Bisexual?” Dirk asked.

  
“Yup.” Todd replied.

  
“But you haven’t ever been with a man?”

  
“Nope.”

  
“Why not? I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that, obviously, your sexuality is still very much valid-“

  
“Dirk.”

  
“Right. I meant, since you have been attracted to men before… Why not, you know, have a… Short term relationship with one?” Dirk asked.

  
How Dirk avoided saying the word sex was amusing to Todd. “I told you, I’m not good with people. I haven’t been with many women either. Well, not in an actual relationship. And I guess I figured this bi-stuff out only toward the end of my… More promiscuous phase.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk thought for a moment. “When was the last time you were attracted to a man?” He asked carefully.

  
Todd was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Not that his face was ever straight. Heyo.

  
“Does currently count?” Todd replied.

  
Dirk’s eyes went wide. “Uh, yes, it does.”

  
“Well, currently then.” Todd said innocently. He enjoyed Dirk’s startled expression. This game had taken the best possible turn.

  
Dirk just stared at him without saying anything for a while. A long while.  
“That was all my questions.” He finally said.

  
Todd suppressed a laugh. Oh this was perfect.

  
“Good game.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk looked desperately disappointed. Todd wanted to snap a picture of it but at the same time he wanted to kiss the stupidly adorable expression off his face.

  
“Can I play now?” Todd asked.

  
“You want to ask questions?” Dirk replied.

  
“Yes. Well, only one.”

  
“One?” Dirk looked confused.

  
“Yes. Can I?”

  
“I think it’s only fair, I did just ask you 20.” Dirk replied.

  
“Okay. Question number one: Can I kiss you?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk blushed violently. “What?”

  
“Remember, there’s consequences if you don’t answer the question at all.” Todd teased.

  
Dirk grinned. “God yes, yes you can.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "While stuck in the sheriff office overnight Todd asks what happened in Blackwing (because I like pain)."

Todd couldn’t sleep.

Despite what people might have guessed about him, he’d never had to spend a night in a jail cell. The bed was rock hard and the blanket paper thin. It didn’t help that Farah in the cell right next to his and Dirk’s apparently could sleep and snore.

The last two months had been crazy for Todd and now the flow of the universe or whatever it was Dirk called it had lead him to a jail cell with nothing but time to kill.

He snuck a glance at Dirk in the opposite bunk. Strangely enough, he had managed to fall asleep. Honestly, Todd had expected him to be up most of the night. He seemed even more energetic and hyper than he remembered but not in the same way as before. Something was… Off.

Now, Dirk was not generally someone he would describe as normal, but whatever was going on with Dirk now was not normal in the Dirk scale of things.

Realistically, Todd had only known Dirk, in the actually-spent-time-with-him way, for a week before he’d disappeared (been kidnapped, Todd reminded himself, he hadn’t disappeared, he’d been taken) and there probably was layers to Dirk he hadn’t yet uncovered, but he could tell the detective wasn’t himself. Not the way Todd knew him.

As if he knew what Todd was thinking, Dirk suddenly started to act up.

“No. No, please, I swear I don’t know…” He mumbled in his sleep as he started to trash around in his bunk.

Todd felt a pang of pain in his chest. Seeing Dirk so distressed even while unconscious made him worry.

“Please… This isn’t how it works!” Dirk went on and his voice had gone a bit teary.

Todd tried desperately to remember what you’re supposed to do when someone is having a nightmare. Wake them or not wake them?  
But when Dirk started whimpering, Todd couldn’t take it anymore and walked up to Dirk’s side of the cell.

“Dirk. Dirk, wake up.” He tried telling the detective with no results.

He decided to risk it and went to shake Dirk slightly.  
“Dirk, you’re having a nightmare, wake up.” He said in the gentlest voice he could.

Soon after, Dirk gasped and opened his eyes. He looked confused, like he wasn’t sure where he was.

“Hey. You had a nightmare. Sorry if I shouldn’t have woken you, I wasn’t sure-“

“Oh, Todd. Hi. No, it’s alright, thank you.” Dirk replied. He was panting, obviously still a bit distraught from the dream.

  
“Do you, I don’t know, want to talk about it?” Todd asked.

  
“Oh no, I’m quite alright. Pesky little things those nightmares, aren’t they?” Dirk replied, the effort to keep his voice light very obvious.

  
“Dirk…” Todd sighed, sitting at the foot of Dirk’s bed.

  
“I’m sorry if I woke you up.” Dirk replied, avoiding Todd’s eyes.

  
“No, you didn’t, I was awake.” Todd replied.

  
“Oh.” Dirk said and then went quiet.

  
Todd didn’t know how to approach the subject, but he felt like Dirk repressing his feelings had gone far enough.  
“Was it, uh, was it Blackwing?” He asked.

  
“What?” Dirk replied.

  
“The dream. Was it about Blackwing?” Todd asked again.

   
“Oh, I really don’t need to talk about-“

  
“See, but I think you do.” Todd interrupted. Dirk finally lifted his eyes to meet Todd’s. He looked confused.  
“Dirk… It’s obvious you’re… Hurting. And I know I haven’t been the greatest friend before, but I really don’t want you to suffer in silence. Just… Talk to me, yeah?” Todd explained in a soft voice.

  
Dirk sighed. “I really am not used to talking about Blackwing.” Dirk whispered.

  
“I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, but, friends share, right? And as your friend, I want you to be able to talk to me. I wanna be able to help you.” Todd said.

 

“This isn’t something you can help me with, Todd.” Dirk argued.

  
“Maybe not.” Todd replied. “I have no experience of being kidnapped and experimented on by the CIA, but… Maybe talking about it helps? I mean… Have you ever tried?”

  
Dirk let out a humorless laugh. “Of course not. Who on earth would I have talked to? I have no family or friends.” He said.

  
“Except now you do.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk looked at him. He seemed to really be thinking about Todd’s words.  
“I wouldn’t know what to say.” He finally whispered.

  
“Well… What was the nightmare about?” Todd asked, trying to get Dirk to talk.

  
“It… They, Blackwing, were convinced that I was psychic. Since day one. And, simply telling them that wasn’t the case did nothing. They thought I was lying. Resisting the experiments. So, whenever I’d do badly, which, quite frankly, was always, they’d… They’d punish me.” Dirk explained quietly.

  
“Punish you?” Todd asked, trying to make sense of what Dirk was telling him.

  
Dirk sighed. “Yes. They… They had different methods, but they were quite keen on… Electrocution.” He finally said.

  
Todd felt like throwing up. Two months of experiments. Two months of actual physical torture?  
“Oh Dirk…” He whispered.

  
Dirk seemed to immediately feel uncomfortable about what he’d shared.  
“Yes, well, it wasn’t even the first time, nothing new and I’m fine now, so-“

  
“No, Dirk, don’t do that. Don’t try to undermine what they did to you. You may not be in Blackwing anymore, but you’re obviously carrying it with you still.” Todd interrupted Dirk’s backtracking.

  
Dirk was quiet for a minute. Then he spoke up again.  
“I can still feel it sometimes. The shocks. Sometimes… Sometimes when I close my eyes, I feel like I’m back there. I can still feel the shocks and the stupid helmet they came from. I swear the headache they caused still flares up every once in a while. I can still smell the sterilized rooms. It makes me sick…” He whispered. “I feel like… I feel like I need to be something I’m not. I feel like, I’m not special enough but not normal enough either. I feel like I’m doing a bad job at what people expect of me and at what I really am, the same time.”

  
Todd swallowed a lump in his throat.  
“I’m so sorry, Dirk. I’m so fucking sorry.” He said.

  
Dirk didn’t reply. He just stared down at his hands on his lap and stayed quiet.

  
“You… You do know that it’s completely fucked up. What they did to you. You do know that, right?” Todd asked. He had his suspicions about Dirk’s image of his self-worth.

  
Dirk looked up at him with unshed tears in his eyes but said nothing.

  
“Dirk… You did not deserve what they did to you. Not two months ago, not when you were a child. Psychic or not, holistic or whatever, it never should’ve happened, okay? You did not deserve it.” Todd assured him.

  
The tears finally made their way down Dirk’s face.

  
Todd was fast to move and wrap his arms around Dirk’s back. Dirk threw his around Todd’s neck and cried.

  
“I just don’t want to be back there, Todd. Not ever.” Dirk cried.

  
“You won’t be. They won’t ever get to you again. They’ll have to go through me to lay a finger on you. I promise, Dirk, I won’t let them get to you.” He told Dirk.  
Dirk kept crying and Todd kept telling him he’d be okay, that he wouldn’t let anything happen to him.

  
Right around when the sun began to rise, Dirk finally fell asleep.

  
Todd stayed still, holding Dirk and challenging the universe to try and take him away again.  
Fucking try. He’ll make sure that there’s hell to pay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Dirk finds a lost baby as a clue, Todd is less than pleased until they inevitably act like an old married couple and Todd sees Dirk is good with kids?"

“Hello Todd!” Dirk exclaimed as he stepped through the door to formerly Todd’s, now their apartment.

  
“Hey.” Todd replied without lifting his eyes from his guitar.

  
“We have a new case!” Dirk said, grinning.

  
“Really? What is it?” Todd asked and put his guitar down, expecting whatever Dirk had gotten mixed up in to require his full attention.

  
“This.” Dirk replied.

  
Todd lifted his gaze to look at Dirk, only to find him standing at the door, cradling an actual human baby in his arms.

  
“Dirk… What the actual hell?” Todd said in a surprisingly calm voice, which did not match what he was feeling.

  
“I don’t know her real name, but I’m calling her Anastasia.” Dirk replied.

  
“Dirk, please explain why there’s a baby in our apartment?” Todd pleaded.

  
“She was lost.” Dirk explained.

  
“Did she tell you that, or?” Todd replied sarcastically.

  
“Of course not, silly! She was alone outside of our building. It’s a sign. It’s a case.” Dirk replied.

  
“Dirk… Someone’s looking for that baby! You can’t just take her!” Todd exclaimed.

  
“Todd, she was alone. This is a case. I know it.” Dirk argued.

  
“Are you sure?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes.” Came the reply.

  
Todd sighed. This was not something he wanted to deal with. Most of their cases were chaotic, but a baby? Todd had no idea how to handle that and was fairly certain neither did Dirk.

  
“Okay. What the hell are we going to do about the baby?” Todd asked.

  
“What do you mean? She’s the first clue.” Dirk replied as the baby squirmed in his arms.

  
“What, you plan on having her here? Shouldn’t we call social services or-“

  
“Oh Todd, we can’t! We are supposed to find out where she belongs! We are supposed to take care of her!” Dirk exclaimed.

  
Todd wanted to argue, but decided against it. He knew by now that when Dirk was like this, there was no stopping him.

  
“Fine. But Jesus, Dirk, that’s a human being. We have to be… Careful.” Todd tried to reason with Dirk.

  
“Of course, Todd, we will.” Dirk replied and smiled down at the baby in his arms.

  
“I’m just saying, our cases can be dangerous and we aren’t exactly experienced with children-“

  
“I am well experienced in a dangerous and traumatic childhood, so I know what _not_ to put her through. She will be fine!” Dirk replied, still looking down at the baby.

  
Todd’s expression softened. Of course Dirk felt the need to protect the kid.  
“Okay.”

  
Dirk smiled at Todd, grateful to have him agree.  
“You want to hold her?” Dirk asked.

  
“No! No, I don’t.” Todd replied, not trusting himself with a baby.

  
“Fine. Then you can go get some diapers and whatever babies eat.” Dirk suggested.

  
“Oh God…” Todd replied, dreading the case already.

  
“Thank you, love.” Dirk grinned and pecked Todd on the cheek.

  
“Just… Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, okay?” Todd said and left for the store.

  
He had a bad feeling about this.

-

Dirk spent the rest of the day holding the baby and talking to her. Non-stop. The baby actually seemed very focused on Dirk, which only encouraged him.  
Todd focused on trying to find out where the baby had come from, how she ended up at the Ridgley. But every now and then he would get distracted by Dirk’s soft voice talking to the baby.

-

A sharp cry woke Todd up.  
He groaned. How had his life gone from late mornings with his boyfriend to waking up in the middle of the night to a crying baby in one day?

  
“Dirk.” Todd mumbled, trying to get the detective’s attention.

  
Dirk replied with a groan much like Todd’s own.

  
“The baby.” Todd said.

  
Dirk groaned again. Todd turned around under Dirk’s arm slung around his waist to face him and placed his index finger and thumb on both sides of Dirk’s nose, blocking his breathing.

  
Dirk coughed. “Rude.”

  
“The baby’s crying.” Todd said, closing his eyes again.

  
“Why can’t you calm her down?” Dirk asked.

  
“Your baby.”

  
“‘S not.”

  
“You brought her here.”

  
“Our baby.”

  
Todd snorted. “I think I’d remember that.”

  
“Our case, ergo, our baby.” Dirk mumbled.

  
“Dirk.”

  
“Todd.”

  
“Dirk.”

  
“Fine.”

  
Dirk slowly got out of the bed and made his way out of their bedroom. Todd fell back to sleep almost immediately after the baby stopped crying.

  
He woke up again a few hours later to the sun shining into their bedroom. He reached out next to him to bring himself closer to Dirk, only to find his side of the bed empty. He opened his eyes to look around the empty bedroom. Furrowing his brows, he got out of bed and walked towards the living room.

  
“Dirk?” He called out.

  
As soon as he stepped into the living room, he found Dirk asleep on the couch with the baby in his arms. Dirk was leaning against the back of the couch, his mouth hanging open and light snores coming out. The baby seemed satisfied enough. She was placed against Dirk’s chest, her tiny hand tangled in the collar of Dirk’s pajama shirt.

  
An oddly warm feeling washed through Todd. Something about the sight before him made his heart melt. What the hell was that about?

  
Todd went to pick up his phone from the table to capture the moment. He forgot to put his phone on silent and the camera clicked loudly in the otherwise silent apartment.  
The baby cried out and Dirk jumped awake.

  
Dirk’s eyes found Todd immediately.

  
Todd stood in front of him with his phone still pointed at Dirk and the baby, an apologetic look on his face.

  
“Oh Todd…” Dirk groaned and started bouncing the baby in an attempt to calm her down.

-

“Dirk, what the hell are you doing?” Todd asked as he noticed Dirk making faces at the baby.

  
“Entertaining Anastasia, of course.” Dirk replied.

  
“That’s not her real name you know, and shouldn’t we be working on finding the people who did give her her real name?” Todd asked.

  
“Who’s to say it isn’t Anastasia?” Dirk asked, his voice coming out funny due to the face he was currently making. The baby laughed.

  
“Not the point, Dirk.” Todd replied but couldn’t help a smile taking over his face. The baby, who only yesterday had never spent time with either of them, had obviously taken a liking to Dirk.

  
“Yes, of course we will. We will find your parents, won’t we, Anastasia? Oh yes we will.” Dirk replied, mostly speaking to the baby.

  
“Let’s get to it then, yeah?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes, of course. I already know where to start.” Dirk said. Anastasia, the baby, laughed again.

-

The next three days were incredibly weird but surprisingly pleasant.

  
They almost got used to waking up in the middle of the night to a baby’s cries.

  
Todd even held the baby, though she cried as soon as he did. Dirk assured him she just wasn’t used to Todd. Surely enough, when Dirk later forced Todd to try again, the baby was calmer. Dirk had smiled like the sun. Todd had smiled back.

  
Dirk didn’t like to put the baby down except at night. Most of the time, the baby was in Dirk’s arms. The baby seemed to enjoy it. And weirdly enough, so did Todd. A few days ago, he would have never thought that Dirk would be good with children, let alone that he would find Dirk with children so… Endearing.

  
Todd had never not liked children, they just… They just weren’t a part of Todd’s life and he was okay with that. Yet somehow, when they finally found Anastasia’s (whose given name did in fact turn out to be Anastasia) parents, Todd found himself feeling emotional over having to say goodbye to the baby.

  
Dirk on the other hand had actually shed a tear as he cooed at the baby in her mother’s arms. The mother was, of course, eternally thankful for Dirk and Todd for finding her daughter and returning her safely. She promised they could visit any time they wanted.  
Dirk thanked her multiple times.

-

“You okay?” Todd asked as he and Dirk sat on the couch, his arm around Dirk’s shoulders.

  
“Fine.” Dirk replied and let his head fall onto Todd’s shoulder.

 

“You miss her, don’t you?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk sighed. “I do. Isn’t that odd?” He mused.

  
“No. It’s not.”

  
“No?” Dirk asked.

  
“No. You were so good with her. And she obviously liked you. It’s like you… Had a bond, you know?” Todd explained.

  
Dirk sat up. “I thought so too!” He exclaimed.

  
Todd laughed. “Her mother did say you could visit.”

  
“Yes, I know, but I don’t know how wise that would be. Might just confuse everyone.” Dirk sighed.

  
Todd was silent for a minute. “Are you always that good with babies? Or was it just Anastasia?” He finally asked.

  
Dirk thought for a moment. “Well, I don’t have a very impressive amount of experience with children, but the ones I have come across seemed to like me.” He replied.

  
“You are good with babies. Babies like you.” Todd voiced the conclusion he’d come to.

  
“I suppose so, yes.” Dirk smiled.

  
“That’s nice.” Todd replied.

  
“It is?” Dirk asked.

  
“Yeah. I mean, I’ve always thought I wasn’t good with kids, but I think seeing how good you are with them made me a bit more comfortable.” He explained.

  
“You didn’t like kids?” Dirk asked.

  
“It’s not that I didn’t, I just… Never really had to? I haven’t spent much time around kids really. And I was okay with that. Didn’t think I wanted to.” Todd said.

  
“Didn’t think?” Dirk asked curiously.

  
Todd blushed slightly.  
“I mean… I thought having to look after a baby during a case would be a disaster but… It was kind of…”

  
“Fun?” Dirk stepped in.

  
“Yeah.” Todd agreed. “And you seemed happy to have her here.”

  
Dirk smiled. “I was. It was great fun.” He said.

  
“Would you… Wanna do it again?” Todd asked, his voice a little quieter than before.

  
“Look after a lost baby?” Dirk furrowed his brows in confusion.

  
Todd mentally face-palmed. “No, I mean… Do you… I don’t know, want to have one?” He asked.

  
Dirk looked stunned. “I… I never thought about it. I didn’t think it was possible for me.”

  
“Because of the universe?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk nodded.

  
“Who knows, maybe you’re supposed to have one. You are weirdly good with them.” Todd mused.

  
Dirk grinned. “Perhaps. I don’t think I would want to do it by myself though. A lot of work. A lot of responsibility.” Dirk said.

  
Todd grinned too.  
“I guess you’d need someone to help you then, huh?” He teased.

  
“I think so.” Dirk replied smugly.

  
“Well, I’d be a terrible assistant if I didn’t help you with something like that, wouldn’t I?” Todd said, hoping Dirk would get his meaning.

  
Dirk’s expression softened and he smiled in a way that made Todd fall in love with him just a little bit more.

  
He never thought he’d actually consider having a child.

  
Then again, he’d never thought he would end up where he was now, either.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Todd gives Dirk that infamous red jacket™ to make him feel better, Dirk wishes he still had that Mexican funeral t-shirt to complete his look (Blackwing took it away)."

Todd glanced at the shop windows as he and Farah made their way through the street. When he saw a bright red leather jacket in one of them, his first thought was ‘well ain’t that subtle.’  
That thought was immediately followed by ‘I know who would love that.’

  
“Hey, Farah, can we stop for a second?” He asked.

  
They had been sent to town to get dinner for the mystery squad (as Tina called it), though Farah had protested since they were both wanted by the FBI. Hobbs assured them that they’d be fine in Bergsberg.

  
Farah furrowed her brow. “Uh, sure. Why?”

  
Todd suddenly felt a little embarrassed about his impulse. “Uh, I wanted to stop by that store.” Todd gestured towards the shop.

  
“Okay.” Farah replied in her signature ‘I don’t know what’s going on but I won’t ask’ voice.

  
“I’ll be back in a minute.” Todd said before walking into the store.

  
He went straight to the jacket - which he could spot from the other side of the shop - and went to pay. The lady at the counter gave him a weird look because he was paying with cash and Todd just gave her an awkward smile. He thought explaining that he was wanted by the FBI and couldn’t use a card because he could be tracked wouldn’t be a great idea.

  
“Are you sure this is the right size?” The woman asked.

  
“Oh. Yeah, it’s not for me.” Todd replied.

  
“Oh, alright. What a nice gift.” She remarked.

  
Todd smiled as a response and walked out to meet Farah.

  
Of course the woman had given him a transparent bag to put the jacket in, so Farah saw its contents the second he walked out of the store.  
“Totally your style.” Farah said.

  
Todd blushed. “Let’s just go.”

  
Back at the Bergsberg sheriff station, Todd found Dirk sitting in a room by himself. He didn’t look especially upset, but he had had a constant cloud of dread hanging over him since he found his way back to them.

  
“Hey.” Todd said as he entered the room.

  
Dirk lifted his eyes to meet his. “Hello, Todd.”

  
“You okay?” Todd asked.

  
“Perfectly fine.” Dirk replied. Then his eyes fell to the bag in Todd’s hand.

  
“What is that? A clue?” Dirk asked.

  
“Oh, no, it’s a… Well it’s for you.” Todd said and pushed the bag into Dirk’s hands and sat next to him on the couch.

  
“For me? Why?” Dirk asked but before Todd could answer, Dirk had pulled the jacket out of the bag and found out what it was. “Oh my God! I love it!” He exclaimed.

  
“Yeah? Good.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk stood up and pulled the jacket on. “How do I look?” He asked.

  
“Great.” Todd answered immediately. “Uh, it suits you.”

  
“Thank you!” Dirk grinned and sat back down.

  
“What’s the occasion?” He asked.

  
“No occasion. I just… I don’t know. I saw it and thought you’d like it.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk’s expression softened. “Really?” He asked.

  
“Yeah. It does kind of scream ‘Dirk’, doesn’t it?” Todd smiled.

  
“I believe it does.” Dirk laughed. “Thank you, Todd. So much.”

  
“No problem.”

  
They smiled at each other just long enough to make it weird. Then Dirk looked down.  
“I’ll try not to ruin it.” He said.

  
Todd furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

  
“I love the jacket. And I loved the Mexican Funeral shirt. And you told me not to get shot in it, which I didn’t, but I assume it meant generally not to ruin it and while I didn’t, it was in perfect condition, it was what I was wearing when Blackwing got me so… I don’t know what happened to it. I was only allowed to wear the clothes they gave me. I never got it back.” Dirk explained sadly. “And I really loved that shirt.” He sighed.

  
Todd turned fully towards him on the couch. “Dirk. You were kidnapped and managed to escape. It’s just a shirt. It doesn’t matter.”

  
“Yes it does! It was my favorite shirt!” Dirk argued.

  
“You had it for a day?”

  
“It was a gift! From you! And about you! Of course it was my favorite!” Dirk exclaimed.

  
The expression on Dirk’s face hurt Todd. He looked like a kid who had disappointed his parents.

  
“Dirk. I’ll get you a new one. It’s okay.” Todd reassured him.

  
“You said you didn’t have many left? I don’t want you to waste them, they’re a part of a precious memory.” Dirk replied.

  
“Even if I have to give you 10 shirts, it won’t be a waste.” Todd said and Dirk finally turned to look at him. “It is a memory but not necessarily a great one. Seeing you wear that shirt and knowing you love it makes a lot nicer memory.” Todd smiled.

  
Dirk looked like he was about to cry.  
“Thank you, Todd. Really.” He said.

  
“It’s just a shirt.” Todd shrugged.

  
“No. It’s you letting me be a part of your life. Thank you.” Dirk said.

  
Todd stared at Dirk in amazement. Without really having given it a lot of thought, that was exactly what giving the shirt to Dirk had meant.  
“My pleasure.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk smiled brightly.

  
Then he looked down at this jacket.  
“I really do love this jacket, Todd.” He said.

  
“I’m glad. I wanted to cheer you up.” Todd replied.

  
“Well, mission accomplished! I feel like a proper holistic detective again!” Dirk exclaimed. Todd laughed.

  
“I need to get you something.” Dirk said in his ‘Ive got an idea!’ voice.

  
“No, you don’t.” Todd replied.

  
“Of course I do! You were so thoughtful! What should I get you? Hmm, this is an important decision, this requires some serious thought!” Dirk rambled and got up from the couch and walked towards the door.

  
“You’ve already given me everything I need…” Todd mumbled as he watched Dirk’s back disappear into the hallway.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Maybe some brotzly bed sharing??"

“What are you doing?” Todd asked as he watched Dirk lay down a blanket on the motel room floor.

  
“Going to sleep? You just gave me a speech about being tired and wishing for peace and quiet?” Dirk replied in his ‘isn’t it obvious, Todd’ voice.

  
Todd rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but are you seriously gonna sleep on the floor?” He asked.

  
“There’s only one bed in this room? Besides, I’ve slept in way worse conditions.” Dirk shrugged.

  
Todd felt a pang of pain in his chest as he always did when hearing about Dirk’s past. The poor guy had been through so much.

  
“Come on, Dirk, you think I’m gonna make you sleep on the floor? Get up.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk looked confused. “It’s fine, Todd, I’m offering.”

  
“The bed’s big enough for both of us, don’t be difficult, we both need a good night of sleep.” Todd sighed and picked up the sad blanket Dirk had thrown on the floor to sleep on.

  
“Are you sure?” Dirk asked as he took a few hesitant steps toward the bed in the middle of the room.

  
“Get your head on that pillow before I change my mind.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk smiled, knowing Todd well enough at this point to know he wasn’t really irritated with Dirk. Yet.

  
Dirk kicked off his shoes and climbed on the bed in his jeans and button down.

  
They hadn’t planned on spending the night outside of Seattle when they left, but of course the universe had other plans.

  
Dirk rolled on his back and bounced violently to make himself comfortable. Todd laid down as well and stared at Dirk who was still bouncing.

  
“Dirk!” He finally exclaimed.

  
“What?” Dirk asked but didn’t require an answer once he looked at Todd. “Right.”

  
Dirk finally settled down. Todd sighed, reached to turn off the lights and closed his eyes.

  
The day had been tiring, not that it was an odd occurrence at this point. Todd took a deep breath and focused on the silence only interrupted by the sound of the wind outside their window.  
Up until Dirk spoke up again.

  
“Do you reckon that the man without thumbs took the goose to-“

  
“Dirk. Case tomorrow. Sleep now.” Todd cut him off.

  
“Right. Of course. Good night, Todd.” Dirk replied.

  
“Good night, Dirk.” Todd said.

  
Todd felt very tired physically, but for some reason his mind wouldn’t shut up. Todd opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling, cursing the universe for not letting him sleep after the day he’d had. He didn’t know how long he’d been staring at he ceiling and thinking about nothing in particular when he heard Dirk speak up again.

  
“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

  
Todd furrowed his brows.  
“What? Do what?” He asked and turned to look at Dirk, only to find him seemingly asleep. His eyes were closed and his chest was rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm.  
Was Dirk sleep-talking?

  
“Please. I don’t know anything, I swear, I swear.” Dirk kept going, his eyes still closed.

  
Todd tried to figure out what to do, until he felt Dirk’s hand make contact with his face. Hard.  
“Ouch!” He exclaimed and jumped up to sit on the bed.

  
Dirk shot up as well. “What! What! Is it the man without the thumbs!” He screamed.

  
“No, Dirk! You just hit me?” Todd replied.

  
“No I didn’t?” Dirk asked. Then he furrowed his brows. “I hit you?”

  
“Yes!”

  
Dirk frowned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

  
Todd sighed. “I know you didn’t, Dirk. It seemed like you were having a bad dream.” He said.

  
“Yes. Still, I apologize.” Dirk whispered.

  
“It’s okay, Dirk.”

  
“Are you hurt?”

  
Todd let out a chuckle. “No, Dirk. You’re not exactly threatening when you’re awake, I doubt you could do much harm when asleep.” He replied.

  
Dirk frowned. “I can be threatening.”

  
“Sure.” Todd said. After a moment of silence he spoke again.  
“You want to talk about it?”

  
Dirk looked at him and smiled. “No. But thank you.”

  
“Okay. Then we should get some sleep.” Todd said, laying down again.

  
“Right. Yes.” Dirk replied and laid down as well.

  
Todd closed his eyes and tried to count sheep.

  
After a while, 77 sheeps later to be exact, he still felt Dirk moving around restlessly.

  
“Can’t fall back asleep?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk sighed. “Apparently not.” He replied, defeated.

  
Todd hesitated for a moment. “Come here.” He finally said.

  
“What?” Came Dirk’s reply.

  
“Just, scooch closer.” Todd said and Dirk complied, moving close enough for Todd to wrap his arm around Dirk’s shoulders. Todd dragged Dirk’s head to rest on his chest and started combing his fingers through Dirk’s hair.

  
“Todd?” Dirk asked carefully.

  
“My mom used to do this when I couldn’t sleep. Just close your eyes.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk closed his eyes and sighed.

  
After Dirk settled down, Todd started to hum quietly.

  
They laid like that for a while, Todd’s soft voice filling the otherwise quiet room.  
Dirk’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing fully against Todd’s chest.

  
Todd smiled. As he got to the end of the song he was humming, he moved his head so that he could look at Dirk.  
Dirk’s eyes were closed and for once, he seemed at peace.

  
Todd found himself bending his head down and placing a kiss on top of the detective’s head.  
To Todd’s surprise, Dirk lifted his head to look at Todd.

  
“Did you just-“

  
“I thought you were asleep!” Todd defended himself, blushing violently.

  
“I was about to fall asleep.” Dirk said with a smirk.

  
“Well, get back to it.” Todd replied.

  
“Todd-“

  
“Sleep, Dirk. Unless you want to spend the night on the floor.” Todd said and turned to look at the ceiling again, not feeling up to talking about whatever impulse just made him… Do that.

  
Without a protest, Dirk placed his head back on Todd’s chest.

  
Todd was glad he hadn’t made Dirk uncomfortable, but he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed.

  
“Will you sing something? Might… It might help me fall asleep.” Dirk carefully asked.

  
Todd smiled, still blushing. “Well, if it’ll help.” He replied and could basically feel Dirk smiling against his chest.

  
When Todd woke up in the morning, he found Dirk still asleep on his chest, his nose against Todd’s neck.  
Todd smiled down at his friend, for the first time in a long time feeling completely content.

  
That is, until he felt Dirk drool against his neck.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Dirk and Todd are on a case, they’re about to be caught, when one of them tells the other to kiss them so they’ll blend in. They do. But they don’t stop kissing even when the bad guy’s passed by them."

Todd looked around the very seedy club. The place was filled with older men who looked like they had been drunk since 10am, couples making out against whatever surfaces available, broken glass, a bachelor party and some woman crying at the counter.

  
A few years ago, this would’ve probably been Todd’s scene, more or less. Now though, he felt very out of place.

  
“Dirk, are you sure this is where we’re supposed to be?” He asked the detective currently bouncing slightly to the beat of the music.

  
“Todd, am I ever sure of anything? No. But, the universe takes me where I need to be. I have a hunch about this place.” Dirk replied.

  
“Yeah, me too. I have a hunch they do some illegal businesses here.” Todd mumbled.

  
“Oh, lighten up, Todd! I’m sure whatever we’re here for will make itself kno- oh my god!” Dirk suddenly squealed and pointed towards the door of the establishment.

  
Todd turned around to see the thugs they’d barely escaped from only hours before walking in.

  
“Shit! What the hell do we do?” Todd exclaimed.

  
“Well, it was quite a heated fight and we’re wearing different clothes, maybe they won’t recognize us?” Dirk suggested.

  
Todd stared at him dumbfounded. “Are you kidding me!?”

  
“Alright, alright, we should do something.” Dirk agreed.

  
Todd waited for a plan, but Dirk remained quiet.

  
Todd snuck a glance at the door. The men weren’t there anymore. He did a quick scan of the place and finally found the men, heading towards the counter, which they’d have to pass Todd and Dirk to get to.

  
“Shit shit shit shit.” Todd chanted.

  
“This is quite a pickle, isn’t it.” Dirk said.

  
“Oh god. Okay, we just have to blend in. Not stand out. Act natural.” Todd instructed.

  
Dirk placed his hands on his hips in what he must’ve seen as a casual gesture but really looked like he was doing the Superman pose, and looked at the ceiling.

  
“How is that natural!?” Todd exclaimed.

  
“I- I panicked!” Was Dirk’s reply.

  
Todd looked out for the men and saw they’d moved closer, past the couple kissing and groping in the corner.  
And Todd got an idea. Most likely a terrible, terrible idea, but it was all they got.

  
“Kiss me.” He told Dirk.

  
Dirk looked like he’d seen a ghost. “What?”

  
“We need to blend in and they won’t see our faces. Kiss me.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk seemed frozen in place but Todd hadn’t heard a ‘no’ so he took a step closer to Dirk, trapping him between the wall behind him and Todd’s body.  
He took a shaky breath and then stood on his toes and grabbed Dirk’s horrified looking face.

  
And then he kissed Dirk.

  
For a moment, it was weird. Did he just seriously kiss Dirk to avoid bad guys from beating them up again? What is his life?

  
But then Dirk kissed him back.

  
Oh.

  
Dirk’s lips were surprisingly soft. His kiss was careful, hesitant. Todd pressed himself even closer to Dirk, putting more pressure into the kiss. Dirk’s hands, which had been glued to his sides a few seconds ago, came to rest on Todd’s hips and Todd forgot all about the creepy bad guys and the gross nightclub.

  
The height difference had forced Todd to stand on his toes and crane his neck up, but now Dirk was leaning down as they kissed, making it more comfortable for Todd.

  
They were kissing.

  
Todd was currently kissing Dirk.

  
Scratch that, Todd was currently pretty much making out with Dirk.

  
At some point, Todd’s hands had moved from either side of Dirk’s face and into his hair. He had really soft hair?

  
And somehow, tongues had gotten involved.

  
Dirk tasted like something very familiar yet Todd couldn’t put his finger on what it was. To be fair, he was quite distracted at the moment. How had they never done this before? Sure Todd had thought about it, but immediately caught himself and locked that thought away. Right now, he could not remember why.

  
Dirk let out a content sigh into their kiss and Todd felt the need to look at him.

  
Then he remembered where they were.  
Right. Public place. Case.

  
Todd pulled away, leaving Dirk panting, leaning against the wall.

  
“Have they gone?” Todd asked, unwilling to turn away from Dirk.

  
“Who?” Dirk asked. Todd gave him an amused look. “Oh! Yes, yes they seem to be… gone.” Dirk replied and a bright blush crept up on his face.

  
“Okay. Good.” Todd responded with an awkward smile. “Now what? Do we go after them? See what they’re up to? They must be why we’re here, right?” He asked and dragged his fingers through his hair.

  
“Right. Or…” Dirk responded but left the sentence hanging.

  
“Or?” Todd asked.

  
“Or maybe they aren’t why we’re here.” Dirk suggested.

  
“What else could it be?” Todd asked, confused.

  
“Oh I don’t know, there’s a lot of interesting things going on here.” Dirk replied with a shy smile and an even heavier blush than before.

  
Todd furrowed his brows, not understanding what could be more important than the men actually a part of the case.

  
Then he understood Dirk’s shy but suggestive expression.  
“Oh, you sneaky little shit.” He laughed. “Did you bring me here to make out with you?”

  
“No! I told you I don’t know why we had to be here, it was a hunch!” Dirk defended himself.

  
“Aha.” Todd replied with a teasing smile on his face.

  
“It was!” Dirk exclaimed and then looked down at his feet. “Maybe the universe wanted me here to-“

  
“Make out?” Todd interrupted.

  
“For the love of God, stop saying ‘make out!’” Dirk hissed, obviously embarrassed.

  
Todd closed the small distance between them and played with the collar of Dirk’s shirt.  
“Well, we wouldn’t want to defy the will of the universe, would we?” He asked in his best flirty voice.

  
Dirk swallowed. “I should think not. Even though I-“

  
Todd cut him off with a kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Dirk believes that he deserves to go back to Blackwing and agrees to go back with Priest."

“Poor, confused, dangerous, little Svlad Cjelli.” Mr. Priest’s sinister voice echoed in the abandoned house.

  
“Svlad… What? Who?” Todd asked, but Dirk couldn’t concentrate. Not on Todd, not on anything other than Mr. Priest’s voice. He was here. Mr. Priest was here.

  
“Dirk Gently, Project Icarus… Always in trouble.” Mr. Priest kept going, his voice and heavy footsteps getting closer and closer to the room Dirk and Todd were currently in.

  
“Dirk! We have to do something! Get up!” Todd yelled. Dirk didn’t move from his spot in the corner against the wall.

  
“It’s pointless, Todd. It’s over. It’s all over. Farah’s dead and you will be too. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Dirk whispered.

  
“What? No, Dirk, we can figure this out. We have to!” Todd said and went to inspect the room. “The portal to Wendimoor is here somewhere! Help me find it!” He yelled.

  
Dirk did indeed get up, but only to walk towards the bed in the middle of the room and lay down on it.

  
“It’s pointless.” He said again and closed his eyes.

If there’s anything his years at Blackwing had taught him, it was not to fight back when it came to Mr. Priest. The worst of his nightmares were about him. The most distinct scars. Just hearing his voice made something in Dirk’s head snap. Every ounce of energy and free will left his body and he just wanted for everything to be over. Maybe if he just laid down quietly, Mr. Priest wouldn’t hurt him. Or Todd. Oh Todd… Dirk had finally found a friend and he was about to get him killed. Just like Farah had been killed.

“Come back to Blackwing, Svlad, before anyone else gets killed because of you.” Mr. Priest’s voice brought Dirk back to reality. He was right behind the door now.

Dirk froze. Of course.

  
“I deserve to go back.” Dirk whispered. Slowly, he sat up on the bed. He glanced over to Todd quickly, pleased to find him on the other side of the room. Dirk could step in between him and Mr. Priest if it came to that.

  
Dirk stood up.

  
The door flew open. Todd gasped.

  
“Icarus.” Mr. Priest said. Then he glanced at Todd and lifted his weapon towards Todd.

  
“I’ll go with you.” Dirk said quickly.

  
“What!?” Todd screamed.

  
Mr. Priest smiled, which made Dirk’s stomach drop. “Good boy, Svlad.” He said and offered his hand towards Dirk.

  
Dirk took a step forward, only to be stopped by Todd’s hand on his.

  
“Dirk! What the hell are you doing!?” Todd said.

  
Mr. Priest raised his weapon again.

  
“No, please.” Dirk told Mr. Priest, and took a step to the side to shield Todd from him.

  
“I will go with you and I wont try to escape. Just please don’t hurt him. Please don’t hurt anyone. Not anymore. Not again…” Dirk pleaded, his voice shaking, breaking down towards the end. The pure emotion in his voice reminded him of when he was a child. Based on the grin on Mr. Priest’s face, it had the same effect on him.

  
“Come on then, Icarus.” He said. Dirk shook off Todd’s grip and walked to Mr. Priest.

Mr. Priest grabbed Dirk’s bicep roughly with one hand and quickly stuck a syringe in Dirk’s neck with the other. He emptied it in his vein before pulling it out and pocketing it again.

Then he turned to look at Todd. “You. You make one wrong move, and I shoot you in the head.” He said and then dragged the detective, who was quickly losing consciousness, down the stairs.

  
Todd stood still for a moment, in complete shock. Then he forced his legs to move and he hurried after them.

  
Farah, who had just regained consciousness, lifted her arms above her head when Mr. Priest came stomping down the stairs with a gun pointed at her. And with a sick looking Dirk on his arm.

  
“Dirk? What is-“ She questioned.

  
“Oh Farah. You’re alive. I didn’t fail you too.” Dirk smiled weakly, really fighting to stay awake.

  
Todd stopped running when he came to where Farah was standing and stared at Mr. Priest dragging his best friend across the yard.

  
“What? Dirk, what is happening?” Farah asked.

  
“It’s for the best… I can’t hurt anyone anymore… No one will die… It’s for the best… Dangerous little Svlad Cjelli…” Dirk mumbled as Mr. Priest dragged him to his car.

  
“Dirk!” Todd screamed and took a few running steps again. Mr. Priest fired a shot, purposefully only hitting the ground right where Todd’s next step would’ve landed. Todd froze. Mr. Priest smiled. He pushed Dirk into the back of his car and walked towards the driver’s seat, his weapon pointed at Todd and Farah.

  
“Pleasure doing business with you.” He said. “Don’t you worry about Icarus here. He’s going back to where he belongs. I suggest you do the same. If I ever see you again…” He trailed off and imitated shooting Todd and Farah both, finishing off by blowing pretend smoke away from his gun.

  
Mr. Priest sat in the driver’s seat and turned the car on.

  
Todd stood, frozen, looking at his best friend’s unconscious body in the back of the car.

  
As soon as the car moved, Farah bent down to pick up her gun and fired multiple shots after the car.  
It kept driving.

  
Farah let out a range of curse words and picked up her phone to call for help.

  
Todd slumped down on the grass, much like Dirk had done before.

-

When Dirk regained consciousness in his room at Blackwing, an all too similar feeling of dread took over his whole body. He was back.

  
He just had to remind himself that it was for the best. He could take all the threats, electrocutions and emotional abuse, as long as his friends were okay. As long as no one else died. As long as he didn’t ruin anyone else’s life.

  
He could be Icarus.

  
As long as no one else got hurt.

  
Not anymore.

  
Not again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Can you write a fic where Dirk dies and Todd is imagining him being alive?"

Todd couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept through the night, more than an hour or two at a time. He couldn’t, not anymore. So he made his fourth cup of coffee of the day.

  
Ever since they traveled back in time - which he still couldn’t believe was a sentence he could think about as something that has happened in his life - things had calmed down, but nothing had gone back to the way it had been.

  
Todd was no longer in constant danger or a murder suspect, but something had shifted in his life, something that couldn’t be ignored. Nothing felt the same.

  
“The interconnectedness of all things. You’ve seen it and now you can’t unsee it!” Dirk said to explain the phenomenon.

  
“I guess.” Was Todd’s reply.

  
It made sense. Everything felt different to Todd. Things he used to focus on the most didn’t seem as important anymore. On the other hand, things he hadn’t paid much attention to before now seemed extremely important.  
The world was the same crazy place it had always been, yet Todd had changed.

  
As crazy as things now seemed, Todd was sure he had changed for the better, even if he had implied otherwise before, in the midst of an angry outburst.

  
“Dirk.” He said softly and the Brit lifted his eyes to meet Todd’s.

  
“Yes, Todd?” He replied and shifted next to Todd on the couch.

  
“I just… I just hope you know how glad I am that we met.” Todd said.

  
Dirk’s face softened and a shy smile appeared. “You are?”

  
“Yeah.” Todd assured him. “My life was pretty lame before you. I was pretty lame. I like the me you made me.” He said.

  
Dirk was fully grinning now. “Thank you, Todd.”

  
Todd smiled back. Todd felt good about letting Dirk know how he’d affected his life, but there was something still nagging at Todd at the back of his mind.  
“And…” he spoke up again.

  
Dirk turned his head back towards him. “And?”

  
Todd took a deep breath, then finally said what he’d been wanting to say ever since they teamed up with Estevez to save Lydia.  
“You’re not a monster. I should’ve never said that. I’m… I’m sorry, Dirk.” Todd said.

  
Dirk lowered his eyes to his hands resting on his lap. “It’s alright, Todd.”

  
“No, it’s not. I was angry, but I shouldn’t have gone that far. You’re far from a monster. And you definitely don’t deserve to be alone. You never did. And I’m sorry you were. I’m sorry I made you feel alone again.” Todd explained, placing his hand on top of Dirk’s.

  
Dirk smiled sadly. “Thank you, Todd.”

  
Todd matched Dirk’s sad smile.

  
Todd tried to memorize the details of Dirk’s face, knowing there’d be a time where he wouldn’t be able to see them anymore, not wanting to forget any part of him.

  
“I’m so sorry you were alone…” He whispered again, feeling the need to repeat the words, wishing he could make Dirk understand.

  
“Then why did you leave me?” Dirk whispered back.

  
Todd suppressed a desperate sob and tightened his hold on Dirk’s hand.

  
Before Todd could reply, another voice from the doorway caught his attention.

  
“Who are you talking to?” Amanda asked as she walked further into the apartment, annoyance clear in her body language.

  
Todd looked away from her to next to him where Dirk was sitting. Dirk was still smiling slightly.

  
“Just… Dirk.” Todd replied, smiling at his friend.

  
Amanda’s expression went from annoyed to concerned.  
“Todd… Dirk’s dead.” She whispered, her worried eyes never leaving Todd’s face. “The harpoons… He died in the hospital. Estevez called. Remember?” She explained carefully.

  
Dirk shrugged, the harpoon in his right shoulder bouncing slightly at the movement.  
“She’s right.” He said, the weight of his words not erasing the small smile on his face.

  
Todd forced himself to keep smiling too, but a tear escaped his left eye.  
“I know.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I wondered if you would write a short about what Todd would've done if he'd knocked Dirk unconscious when he first climbed through the window into his flat. Would've he called the cops, called Amanda, bandage him up? What would've gone on in his head with an unconscious Dirk Gently on his floor? :)"

Todd had had a weird day. Questioned by the police? Because of a murder? How could that be his life? You only saw those things on tv in some crime show that has been running for a decade, it doesn’t actually happen to people!

  
Except that it does. And now it was happening to him.

  
Todd let out a deep sigh as he walked into his messy apartment. All he wanted was to give Amanda a call and then fall asleep, preferably for a week or so.

  
Unfortunately, that was not what the universe had planned for him.

  
Todd closed the door and turned on the lights in his apartment. Something caught his attention from the corner of his eye. As he turned towards the window, his eyes widened in shock.  
There was a man, halfway through his window into his apartment. The man had an awkward smile on his face and he stopped climbing in for a second to acknowledge Todd’s presence.

  
“Hiiii…” He said in a soft British accent.

  
Todd screamed and without really thinking, he reached down to pick up a shoe and chugged it at the stranger.

  
The man let out a squeal and fell all the way into Todd’s apartment. He quickly got up, seemingly unhurt. Todd, in a weird adrenaline rush, rushed towards the man and tried to get a punch in. The man was protesting but all Todd could make out was ‘hey’ and ‘ouch’.

  
Finally Todd managed to punch the man in the face, which only seemed to offend him.

  
“Oh now you’re gonna get-“ He said and did a couple of what Todd could only assume were meant to be karate chops at Todd.

  
Todd tried charging at the man again, but the man quickly jumped over Todd’s kitchen counter and fell into the kitchen. Todd ran around the counter to confront the man again, only to find him unconscious on the floor. The punch hadn’t done it, but apparently he’d managed to knock himself out while landing on the kitchen floor. A bruise was already forming on the side of the man’s face, right where Todd had punched him.

  
Todd tried to catch his breath. He lowered his fists and stared at the unconscious stranger on his floor.

  
What the hell is happening?

  
What the hell is this day!?

  
He felt relieved to get a minute to breathe and think about his next move. Until he realized he had no idea what his next move should be. The normal thing to do when someone breaks into your home would be to call the police. However, Todd was currently a person of interest - a suspect? - in a murder investigation. He had no idea who this man was. What if he was the real killer? Todd couldn’t get mixed up in any more crap right now. He was on thin ice.

  
The thought of calling Amanda crossed his mind, but he knew it wouldn’t be a good idea. She wouldn’t be able to get to him and she would just worry.

  
That pretty much left taking care of it himself as the only option.

  
Todd sighed. He did not feel up for this.

  
He examined the man again and furrowed his brows. What the hell kind of a burglar wears a bright yellow jacket and a tie while breaking into someone’s house? If this guy wasn’t there to steal, what on earth could his motive be? Who was this guy?

  
Todd found himself more curious than scared now and he was convinced that he was insane. Who is curious about the back story of the wacko that breaks into their home?

  
Todd decided that the police would have to get involved only if the man was indeed going to harm him. But he hadn’t. In fact, he had said ‘hi’ upon seeing Todd. Something about the situation felt odd. Well, it was odd as hell, but even more odd than just a break-in.

  
Todd decided, possibly idiotically so, to wait for the man to come to so that he could question him. Of course, precautions had to be taken.

  
Todd dragged the man into the living room and lifted him up on the couch. The man was surprisingly light. He was tall, well taller than Todd, but he was lanky.

  
Todd looked around the apartment, looking for something to use as a weapon, just in case. He remembered he had a baseball bat in his bedroom and ran to get it. Then he sat on the coffee table and stared at the unconscious Brit.

  
After a while he realized this could take longer than he had thought.

  
He looked the mysterious man up and down. He was pale and skinny. His hair was one of those colors you couldn’t really describe with one word. It was short on the sides, but a fringe flopped onto his forehead from the front. Todd noticed a small cut on the man’s forehead, probably from the impact that knocked him out. For some reason, Todd then found himself walking into the bathroom and retrieving a first aid kit. He cleaned the cut and put a bandaid on it. And immediately felt stupid afterwards. He just bandaged up the intruder in his home. What’s wrong with him?

  
Suddenly the man stirred and Todd grabbed the baseball bat and stood up.

  
The man slowly opened his eyes, soft blue eyes meeting Todd’s and confusion immediately visible in them.

  
“What- what happened?” He asked.

  
“I knocked you out.” Todd replied, choosing to not let the man know what really happened. He needed to appear intimidating.

  
“Why did you do that!” The man whined and touched his forehead which was probably hurting.

  
“You broke into my apartment!” Todd exclaimed and pointed the baseball bat at the man.

  
“Don’t point that thing at me!” The man exclaimed and pushed the baseball bat in front of his face. Then his fingers landed on the bandaid. “You put a bandaid on me?” He asked.

  
“You were bleeding.” Todd mumbled, embarrassed of his decision to help the man out, since he couldn’t really explain why he did it.

  
“How considerate of you. Especially since you’re the reason why.” The man snorted.

  
“You. Broke in. To _my_  apartment.” Todd said again, enunciating all the words clearly and putting emphasis on ‘my’ to make his point.

  
“Yes, yes, I’m aware. Though technically, your window was open so there was no breaking involved. Only entering.” The man explained and sat up straight on the couch.

 

Todd raised the bat again. The man rolled his eyes.

  
“Please, I’m not going to hurt you. Why would I?” He said.

  
“Sorry if I’m a little wary of people who break in-“

  
“Into your apartment, yes, we’ve established that.” The man interrupted him.

  
So apparently, if the man was to be trusted, he meant no harm and the police didn’t have to be involved. That was a relief. However, it explained absolutely nothing of what was currently happening.

  
It was Todd’s turn to roll his eyes. “Well, if you don’t want me any harm, then why on earth are you here and why did you come through my window!” He demanded to know.

  
The man’s face lit up and he stood up, taking a few steps closer to Todd.

  
“Have you noticed an acceleration of strangeness in your life as of late? Perhaps a series of intense or extraordinary events which as of now seem unconnected with the exception of each being separately bizarre. Perhaps every day before now has, for the most part, been humdrum and inane? Your life a mundane, unvarying slog through unfulfilling jobs, shallow depression and boring, BORING sex? And then suddenly today everything changed and your life became a swirl of interesting activity?” The man ranted, slowly leaning closer to Todd as he went on.

  
Todd couldn’t think of a word to say as a response. Who the hell was this guy!? How could he POSSIBLY know all this? Todd wanted to punch him again in frustration, but at the same time… He was weirdly intrigued. He studied the man’s face, now unnecessarily close to Todd’s. Something about this guy didn’t make Todd feel as weird as he definitely should feel considering the circumstances. The man seemed… Friendly. A nut job, but a friendly one.

  
The man seemed to take Todd’s silence as a confirmation and smiled brightly. “An assistant. I knew it!” He said, patted Todd on the shoulder and sat back down on the couch.

  
“An… Assistant? Wait, what the hell are you talking about? Who are you? How did you know all that?” Todd exclaimed, annoyance overpowering the intrigue now.

  
“My name is Dirk Gently. I live here now. And I’ll be sleeping here tonight.” The man replied and turned to lay down on the couch.

  
Todd was definitely annoyed more than intrigued now. He was fuming and the man, Dirk Gently, could tell.

  
“You wouldn’t throw an injured man out on his arse, would you?” He asked, raising his eyebrows innocently.

  
Todd blinked a few times.

  
The man wasn’t dangerous, apparently. He wasn’t there to rob him. He wanted a place to sleep. But then again, how the hell could he have known so much about Todd’s life? Was he a stalker? And what the hell was that assistant comment about?

  
Todd took in a deep breath.

  
“Fine. I won’t throw you out.” He said and Dirk Gently’s face immediately lit up. Todd held up his finger. “But, you are going to explain what the hell is going on and then, only then, am I going to decide if you can actually stay here or not. Deal?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk thought for a moment, then stood up and offered his hand for Todd to shake. Todd did.

 

“Deal.” Dirk replied.

 

Todd nodded and sat down on the coffee table facing Dirk, who sat down as well.

 

“I’m a holistic detective.” Dirk said after a while, in a voice that suggested that ‘holistic detective’ was a term that everyone should know.

 

Todd sighed. What the hell had he just gotten himself into?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Please do the Hogwarts AU this fandom needs." + Todd/Dirk & Tina/Farah

The audience roared as the young players swooped through the sky on their brooms. Quidditch game days were one of the most exciting on school grounds. Days before the games were filled with excitement, school spirit and house pride. The days of the games were about triple on all of those.

  
Most of the school was watching the teams compete once again and the air was filled with loud cheers.  
Loudest of them all being the ones coming from one Tina Tevetino.

“YES FARAH! GO GET ‘EM GIRL! YOU’RE SO GETTING LAID TONIGHT!” She screamed as her girlfriend, Farah, scored again for Gryffindor.

  
Todd laughed awkwardly at Tina’s overenthusiastic and slightly inappropriate cheers. He was used to Tina’s lack of filter in every and all situations, having been friends with her since their fifth year at Hogwarts. However, not all the audience members seated near them were and kept glancing at Tina, who was not discouraged even a little bit by the looks.

  
“She’s gonna kill you, you know!” Todd raised his voice over the noisy crowd. Todd knew Farah would scold Tina if she heard some of the cheers she’d come up with.

  
“No she ain’t, she loves me! YES FARAH! THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!” Tina screamed back and quickly got distracted by Farah flying past their section of the audience. 

 

Todd laughed.

  
He had never been big on PDA or announcing his feelings for, well, anyone, and Farah was similar to him in that sense. Of course, having fallen in love with Tina, who had no problem letting people know how she felt and what she thought, had changed things a bit. Todd could tell by the blush on Farah’s face when Tina declared her love and other, ahem, intimate feelings towards her, that her feelings about the gestures weren’t all negative. Todd sympathized with Farah. Being in love changed people…

  
Todd looked around the audience, suddenly remembering that his sister was supposed to be there already.

  
“Tina! Do you have any idea where Amanda is?” Todd asked, getting a bit worried about his little sister.

  
“Oh, yeah, I saw her at the common room. She told me to tell Farah sorry she couldn’t make it. She’s got plans with the Rowdies.” Tina replied without taking her eyes off the game.

  
Todd’s mouth flew open. “Rowdies? You mean the butch 6th and 7th year Gryffindors?” He asked.

  
“Yeah!” Tina replied.

  
“Why the hell is Amanda hanging out with them! She’s a 3rd year!” Todd squeaked.

  
Tina laughed. “Yeah. A 3rd year that could kick the Rowdies’ and your ass any time of the day. With a wand or her fists. You heard about her giving Friedkin a bloody nose, didn’t you?” Tina said.

  
Todd sighed, less than thrilled about that particular occurrence. “Yeah. Sure did.” He said.

  
“So, don’t get your panties in a twist. She’s one tough chick.” Tina said, finally turning to look at Todd.

  
Todd rolled his eyes. “You Gryffindors… There’s a fine line between brave and stupid, you know?” Todd remarked.

  
Tina punched him in the arm. “You shut your Slytherin mouth!” She laughed. Todd laughed too.

  
For some, their friend group was strange. Three Gryffindors, A Slytherin and a Hufflepuff. A lot of people made their closest friends within their houses, so their little group was special. But weirdest of all was Todd’s presence in the group.

  
In his first years at Hogwarts Todd had been… Well, he had been an asshole. He’d made friends with a few boys from his house, whose favorite past time was picking on others and making trouble wherever they went. Todd still felt his heart get heavier when he thought about his first four years at Hogwarts and how he had acted. Back then, he wouldn’t have even interacted with kids from other houses.

Then, on his 5th year, Amanda came to Hogwarts. She was sorted into Gryffindor, quite rightfully so, and was absolutely disgusted with how her brother and his ‘friends’ were acting. She refused to talk to him for weeks. That was when Todd realized he had to change his ways.

  
He cut the so called friends out of his life and basically begged for Amanda to forgive him. He apologized to anyone he’d offended before and tried to be nice to everyone he came across. Amanda eventually stopped her silent treatment, but she still didn’t let him off the hook easily. He still had to work on being a better person, all his motivation coming from his little sister.

  
That is, until he went and fell in love with the eccentric Hufflepuff.

  
In his 6th year, he’d ended up in a class with Dirk Gently, who he’d only ever previously known as the weird Hufflepuff boy. True to his word, Todd tried to be nice when he interacted with Dirk, which seemed to encourage him to talk to Todd every chance he got. Which was often. Sometime during that semester, Todd found himself not repressing eye rolls around Dirk anymore, but repressing smiles and blushes. Neither of them went home on Christmas break that year (Todd was behind on school work and Dirk didn’t have a great family life) and they really mostly spent time together. They’d been together ever since.

  
Everyone that had known Todd before his 5th year would stare at them holding hands in the hallways and making eyes at each other. Todd Brotzman with a Hufflepuff? Todd Brotzman with Dirk Gently of all people? But for the first time in years, Todd felt content. He had Dirk, and he had his sister back.

  
Amanda loved Dirk. Todd was pretty sure a big part of her letting Todd back into her life properly was because of Dirk and his influence on Todd.

 

Amanda introduced Todd (and Dirk by extension) to Farah and Tina since they were in the same house and so their little group was formed. Amanda, being 13 now, wanted some space for herself, so she had her own friends as well, but she still made sure to see her brother every once in a while. Todd understood. She no longer avoided him, this was just a normal preteen independence thing.

  
Todd had gone from a bully, who really didn’t enjoy anything in his life, to a guy who’d do anything for his sister, his boyfriend and his friends. Thanks to Dirk, Todd had gotten better with school and had started planning his future. Todd smiled as he reminisced on the people he cared about most and how they’d changed his life.

  
As if she could read his mind, Tina spoke up. “Where’s your badger?” She asked.

 

Todd rolled his eyes. Dirk being the only Hufflepuff in their friend group, Tina loved to make jokes. One of her classics being calling Dirk ‘badger’ and especially ‘Todd’s badger’, since she’d really gotten to know Dirk through Todd. Todd had told her to lay off the jokes, but since Dirk himself didn’t mind, they didn’t seem to be stopping.

  
“He said he’d be here.” Todd replied, looking around the rows of seats filled with excited people.

 

Then, as if on cue, he spotted a familiar grin and blue eyes.

  
“Todd!” Dirk’s excited voice carried through over the cheers.

  
“Hey Dirk!” Todd replied as Dirk made his way to them.

  
“Sup badger?” Tina said.

  
“I’m wonderful, thank you for asking!” Dirk replied and sat down next to Todd, leaning in to place a quick kiss on Todd’s lips.

  
Todd smiled against Dirk’s lips. “I missed you.” He said, quietly enough that only Dirk could hear him.

  
Dirk grinned. “I missed you too.” He said, not at all as quietly as Todd and leaned in for another kiss.

  
“Y’all are sickeningly sweet.” Tina said and turned towards the game again.

  
Todd blushed but Dirk seemed unfazed.

  
“How’s the game?” Dirk asked.

  
“We’re winning!” Tina squealed.

  
“I’m happy for you!” Dirk replied. Gryffindor were playing against Ravenclaw, so it was easy for everyone to support Farah and Tina’s house. Though, Dirk would of course be happy for his friends even if they were playing against his house.

 

-

 

After the game, Todd, Dirk, Tina, Farah and Amanda who had joined them to celebrate Gryffindor’s victory, sat around the courtyard. The air was chilly, but still surprisingly warm at this point in the fall. They all sat down on the grass and talked in loud, excited voices.

  
“And when you did that- that thing with the thing!” Tina, with her arm around her girlfriend, excitedly explained her favorite moments of the game to Farah, who blushed at all the compliments.

  
“You really were magnificent!” Dirk chimed in from his position on the ground, sitting between Todd’s legs and leaning against his chest.

 

Todd started to lose feeling in his arms which were holding both him and Dirk up, but he would rather not feel any of his limbs than have to tell Dirk to move.

  
“Isn’t my girlfriend the coolest!” Tina exclaimed and Farah closed her eyes.

 

“Tina…” She whined and then changed the subject. “Where were you for the first half of the game, Dirk?”

  
“Oh, turns out my hunch was right: I figured out who stole the ingredients from the potions class so I went to talk to the headmaster.” Dirk explained. “He was very grateful.”

  
Todd looked down at his boyfriend. “You figured it out?” He asked.

  
“Yes. It made quite a lot of sense once I had all the information.” Dirk replied, looking up at Todd.

  
Todd smiled. “I’m so proud of you.” He said.

  
Dirk blushed. “Thank you, Todd.”

  
Amanda groaned. “One day I’m gonna have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I won’t have to be the goddamn fifth wheel with you people anymore.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "First time the Rowdy 3 feed on Dirk."

Svlad is only 10-years-old when he first hears the Blackwing workers whispering about vampires having been brought in.

  
Vampires? Vampires are real? Svlad’s imagination starts running. How are vampires the same as whatever he is? Is he really as dangerous as vampires? Vampires are monsters? Is he a monster too?

  
A few days after Svlad first heard whispers of these vampires, the Priest comes into his room.

  
“We need you for an experiment.” He says.

  
Svlad closes his eyes in defeat. Not again.

  
“Let’s go, Icarus.” The Priest says and gestures for Svlad to get off his bed.

  
“What do I have to do now?” Svlad asks, knowing fully well that he couldn’t get out of whatever they had planned for him.

  
“New subjects have been brought in. Project Incubus. Their powers are… Very specific. We want to test them on you.” The Priest says as he walks Svlad out of his room, through the grey hallways of Blackwing.

  
Svlad pales. “The- The vampires?” He whispers in horror.

  
The Priest smiles. “Oh, you’ve heard of them have you?” He asks.

  
“Why do I have to see the vampires? I don’t want to. I’m afraid.” Svlad says.

  
The Priest lets out a chilling laugh. “They ain’t gonna suck your blood. Not that kind of vampires.” He says as he types a code into a machine to let them in another wing of the facility.

  
“They’re not?” Svlad asks.

  
“No. They’re… Psychic vampires.” The Priest says.

  
Svlad has no idea what this means, but it doesn’t make him any less afraid.

  
The Priest walks Svlad into a small room with three intimidating looking men, tied up against the back wall. The room is full of guards. The scary men have masks on that only cover half of their face. Their eyes track Svlad as he’s forced into the room.

  
“They feed on energy. Psychic energy. When they feed on normal people, it leaves the poor folks in pretty bad shape. Some have died. But you… You’re not normal people, are you.” The Priest says.

  
He walks Svlad into the center of the room and sits him on a chair facing the three vampires.

  
“You- you want them to feed on me?” Svlad squeaks. His first instinct is to run, but he knows he has no chance. The room is filled with guards and The Priest would just punish him for it.

  
“Yes. We have reason to believe it will affect you differently. You’re full of all kinds of psychic energy. But we do need to test the theory.” The Priest says and ties Svlad down in the chair.

  
“But- but what if it hurts me?” Svlad asks, panic settling deep within his 10-year-old body.

  
“It shouldn’t.” The Priest sighs.

  
“But you’re not sure!” Svlad exclaims.

  
“Well, we’re about to be. We need to do this in order to learn more about Project Incubus. Settle down. The experiment’s about to begin.” The Priest says and walks out of the room. Svlad feels tears gathering behind his eyes.

  
Six guards walk towards the three vampires. The guards look scared as well. They remove the masks from the men’s faces and basically run out of the room.

  
The men stare at Svlad and he feels like crying.

  
“Sorry kiddo, but we’re hungry.” One of the vampires, the biggest one, says and suddenly they all open their mouths and take in deep breaths.

  
Svlad can no longer see the room nor can he really feel his body physically present in it. His mind goes blank, yet he’s very aware of being conscious. A headache starts forming at the back of his head and he feels a pull from his mind to the vampires. A bright blue light is all he can see.

 

Eventually, the pull and the headache become too much and he starts crying. He has no idea what’s happening, but it’s all kinds of uncomfortable. Random images flash before Svlad’s eyes. Some of them he recognizes, some of them make no sense. Some of them scare him. The headache intensifies as the images keep flashing and the light gets brighter. He has no idea how much time has passed; it could be seconds, it could be hours. Just as he’s sure he’s about to pass out, possibly die, it all stops.

  
Svlad feels like he’s been drugged again; his body feels heavy and his mind is numb. He feels cold. Very cold. He slowly opens his eyes, the small, grey room slowly coming back into focus. Guards are already fighting to place the masks back onto the vampires’ faces.

 

The Priest walks in again.

  
“Icarus?” He calls out, walking to stand in front of Svlad. Svlad slowly lifts his eyes to meet The Priest’s, finding him smiling.

  
“Well, would you look at that. You’re fine.” The Priest says and unties Svlad. Svlad breathes heavily, feeling like he can’t quite catch his breath, no matter how much he tries.

  
The vampires are staring at Svlad, their eyebrows raised. They turn to look at each other, an unspoken message being shared by the three of them.

  
“I’m- I” Svlad mumbles, not sure what he wants to say, except that he does not feel fine. He’s not quite able to get his mind fully working yet.

  
“Interesting. Very interesting.” The Priest says and gestures something to the mirror on the wall, which Svlad suspects conceals people behind it, watching everything.

  
“Come on.” The Priest says and starts dragging Svlad back towards his room.

  
Svald’s feet feel shaky and if it weren’t for The Priest painfully holding him up by the arm, he’s sure he wouldn’t be able to stand up the whole way.

  
The Priest types in a code to open the door to Svlad’s room and pushes him in.

  
“See you tomorrow, Icarus.” The Priest says and closes the door, leaving Svlad alone.

  
He can’t quite wrap his head around what has just happened. He feels shaky and weak. He feels drained.

  
He lays on his bed, and quite quickly, tears start falling down his face again.

  
The crying makes the headache caused by the vampires worse. He can’t bring himself to blame the vampires, they were obviously being held by Blackwing just like him, but they still scare him.

  
Svlad wishes to never have to endure whatever he just had, to never have to face the vampires again, but something tells him it’s just another useless wish the universe will choose to ignore.

  
The Priest had looked much too pleased with himself earlier.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Todd somehow sees Dirk talk to Riggins for the first time (in 1x03)."
> 
> A/N: not a 100% sure why I decided to write this in present tense while most of my works are written in the past tense. just felt like it. hopefully it’s not too weird.

“It’s all real, isn’t it? You really are what you say you are. Some kind of… Holistic detective?” Todd asks, already knowing the answer.

  
“I’m trying.” Dirk replies sincerely. “Is this enough proof? Will you help me?” He asks.

  
Todd can see the desperation in Dirk’s eyes, how much he really, genuinely wants Todd’s help. Todd doesn’t say anything right away, he still feels unsure about this mess he’s somehow been dragged into, but he also knows he will eventually accept it. There’s no way out for him, not anymore. Besides, something about Dirk just makes it feel like this is supposed to happen.

 

Todd never used to believe in stuff like that. None of that ‘everything happens for a reason’ crap. Yet somehow meeting Dirk seems like something he was meant to experience. Somehow Dirk is supposed to be a part of his life. It doesn’t mean Todd is thrilled about the danger and illegal aspects it has brought him, but he knows he can’t walk away from it. From him.

 

“Fine.” He finally replies.

  
Dirk’s face lights up like a child’s on Christmas. He gives Todd a huge smile and pats him on the shoulder. Then he turns around and basically hops down the stairs. Todd is left standing in the hallway. There’s many things on his mind, most of them questions.

  
He turns around to go back to his apartment, but his feet stop moving before the thought really registers in his mind. After everything that’s happened, after the revelation of Dirk being… Whatever he is and Todd actually committing to this bizarre case they seem to be on, he doesn’t feel like going about things the normal way. He doesn’t feel like going into his apartment and sitting on the couch, chatting with his sister. It all feels… Different.

  
As quickly as he’d stopped mid-step, he turns back around to go after Dirk. He’s not sure why. He shakes his head, mocking himself for choosing to go after the man who broke into his apartment and claims that they’re friends instead of going back to the safety of his apartment. Then again, his apartment wasn’t exactly safe at the moment. A man had been killed there. It had been broken into. Twice.

  
Todd reaches the stairwell that leads to the ground floor and he sees Dirk at the end of it, but something stops him. An ominous voice Todd doesn’t recognize.

  
“Hello, Project Icarus.” The voice says.

  
Todd has about half a second to wonder what the hell that means, before Dirk reacts.

  
“No..” Dirk whispers. “Leave me alone.” He says, but it comes out as more of a plea than an order.

  
A feeling of anxiety sets in Todd’s stomach. He’d come across all kinds of crazy people in the last few days, but none of them had made Dirk pale the way this man did.

  
“Svlad, we have to talk.” The man continues.

 

“That’s not my name anymore.” Dirk says defiantly.

  
Dirk isn’t his real name? Todd suddenly considers the things he knows about Dirk aside from his eccentric personality and comes up with nothing. He doesn’t really know anything about Dirk, or Svlad, or whatever his name was.

  
“Dirk then.” The man complies.

  
“I said leave me alone!” Dirk says with more power in his voice now.

  
Suddenly a man charges at Dirk and tackles him, both of them collapsing against the bottom stairs. Todd instinctively takes a rushed step forward, going through any self-defense techniques he’s seen on tv in his head, ready to pull the man off Dirk, but stops as the other man yells.

  
“Friedkin! Friedkin, goddamn it, get off him!” The first man orders.

  
Todd stays still, but on guard. These people were obviously not friends of Dirk’s and if the situation escalated, he would need help.

  
“He was escaping!” The younger man explains, still holding Dirk down.

  
“You release him now, soldier, that’s an order!” The older man yells.

  
Soldier? Who the hell are these people?

  
The man, the soldier, gets off Dirk and sits next to him on the stairs. Dirk scrambles to get up and basically wraps himself around the pole at the end of the staircase, grunting and panting frantically. He was obviously shaken, understandably so.

  
“Is this what you do now!? You just attack people!” Dirk screams once he’s recovered.

  
“Sorry, sir, I got confused.” The soldier says and gets up from the stairs and walks back to where Todd assumes his commanding officer is standing, out of view. Todd rolls his eyes.

  
“He seems like a winner!” Dirk comments sarcastically.

  
“Dirk, listen to me.” The older man says.

  
“Why? You have new lies to tell me?” Dirk comments.

  
Todd furrows his brow. What is Dirk’s history with this guy? In the short time he’s known Dirk, Todd’s never seen him so shaken or as defensive as he is around this guy. He lied to Dirk? About what?

  
“We need you to come back in for a debriefing.” The man says.

  
Debriefing? On what? Was Dirk… An agent of some sort? He couldn’t have been telling the truth about the CIA… He admitted it was a lie?

  
“Oh yes, why not, it’s only been sixteen years!” Dirk exclaims in frustration.

  
Sixteen years? Dirk must’ve been a teenager sixteen years ago? What kind of agency would employ a teenager?

  
“Blackwing is under review. That’s why we bailed you out when the police brought you in. It’s the least you can do.” The man explains.

  
More and more questions form in Todd’s mind. What the hell is Blackwing? They bailed Dirk out? Wait, is that why Todd got out too?

  
“The least I could do?” Dirk repeats in disbelief. Dirk obviously doesn’t think he ows these people anything. Todd starts to feel like this situation was truly threatening.

  
“This is in your best interest.” The man says.

  
In Dirk’s best interest? Is Dirk in danger? Well, of course he is, Todd has experienced more danger in the short time he’s known Dirk than in his previous 30 something years of life, but is there more danger than he originally thought? Is someone specifically targeting Dirk?

  
To Todd’s surprise, his first thought is worry towards Dirk’s safety, not his own.

  
“You promised them something you couldn’t deliver. You promised me something and you couldn’t deliver.” Dirk says.

  
Todd frowns. This man had obviously hurt Dirk. Just a few minutes ago Todd couldn’t have imagined hearing the fear and bitterness in Dirk’s voice that was clearly present now. This made Todd worry.

  
“Dirk, I am not the enemy here.” The man says and takes a step closer to Dirk, now coming into Todd’s view too.

Dirk quickly stands up and backs himself against the wall, like a scared animal. Todd suddenly feels the need to stand between Dirk and the man who scares him so.

  
“And you’re not a detective.” The man continues and Todd can see tears forming in Dirk’s eyes. “You’re going to get yourself hurt or killed if you-”

  
“I am on a case!” Dirk interrupts in a teary voice. “I have friends! And we found clues! We’re gonna solve a mystery! A real one! And some people think I’m a pretty good detective!” Dirk yells, the last words coming out shaky. He sounds like a child trying to defend himself to adults.

  
Dirk’s teary, shaky voice breaks Todd’s heart. Dirk takes so much pride in his title as a holistic detective and just earlier he told Todd how he was trying to live up to that title, and now this man is demeaning the thing Dirk puts so much effort in? So much so that the man’s words nearly make Dirk cry? Now, Todd hadn’t exactly been on board this holistic detective train until a few minutes ago, but seeing the normally cheery, optimistic Dirk so sad and broken by just the sight of this man? It makes Todd’s blood boil.

  
Dirk keeps panting and fighting tears as the man opens up his mouth again to speak, but suddenly Todd decides he’s had enough. He marches down the stairs, drawing the strange men and Dirk’s attention to him.

  
“Todd…” Dirk almost whispers, obviously surprised to see him.

  
“Who is this?” The man asks.

  
Dirk opens his mouth to speak but Todd beats him to it.

  
“I’m his friend. And I’d appreciate it if you left him the hell alone, now.” Todd says, coming to stand between Dirk and the man, trying his best to appear as intimidating as he could despite being the shortest of the four men.

  
Dirk looks at Todd, his eyes shining with unshed tears, his expression somewhere between shocked and grateful.

  
“This doesn’t concern you.” The man says.

  
“Like hell it doesn’t. I don’t appreciate people making my friends cry. Actually, I have a tendency to punch the daylights out of people who do that.” Todd replies.

  
“Todd.” Dirk says, his voice a clear warning, but Todd doesn’t break the intimidating staring contest with the older man.

  
“Do you want me to take him down, sir?” The younger man asks.

  
“No!” The older man and Dirk exclaim at the same time, the man giving out an order, Dirk’s tone more pleading.

  
“Dirk…” The man tries again.

  
“I suggest you get the hell out of here unless you want me to call the cops.” Todd says with no intention of actually doing so, since he is currently, possibly a murder suspect. “And I never wanna see your face here again. Or anywhere near Dirk for that matter.” Todd continues.

  
The man seems unsure for a moment before nodding slowly. He walks towards the doors and then stops and turns back.

  
“I’m only trying to protect you, Dirk.” He says.

  
Dirk shakes his head behind Todd. “I don’t care. I don’t need you.” He says.

  
The man sighs and gestures for the younger man to follow him. Once both of them are out of the building, Todd turns towards Dirk.

  
“Are you okay?” Todd asks, adrenaline still burning in his body.

  
Dirk swallows. “Yes. Well, no. But yes. I’ll be fine.” Dirk mumbles. “Thank you, Todd.” He whispers.

  
Todd gives him a reassuring smile. “Sure.”

  
Dirk gives him a small smile, still a bit shaken from the interaction.

  
“Who the hell were those guys anyway?” Todd asks.

  
Dirk looks down at his feet. “It’s… A long story. And I’m afraid it’s not a happy one.” Dirk replies.

  
“Hey,” Todd says and places a comforting hand on Dirk’s shoulder, which gets Dirk to look up at him again. “It’s okay.” He promises.

 

Dirk smiles a little more brightly this time.

  
Then Dirk sits back down on the bottom steps and sighs. Todd follows suit, sitting right next to Dirk and immediately placing his hand back on his shoulder.

 

Dirk looks to Todd, as if to ask for permission. Todd gives him an encouraging nod.

  
Dirk takes a deep breath.

  
“They’re a part of a CIA operation called ‘Blackwing’…”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Dirk never got the physical therapy he needed after having his shoulder messed up at the end of season 1 and he now has tremors/other mobility problems with his right arm. He doesn’t say anything to Todd and Farah until they notice."

“Why can’t I figure this out!” Dirk exclaimed in frustration and placed his hands on the desk to lean on.

  
“I’m sure you will, Dirk, give it time.” Todd tried to assure him.

  
Dirk groaned again. “That’s not good enough! I need-“ Suddenly Dirk felt a sharp pain in his shoulder and jumped up, taking all weight off his arms and cringing in the process.

  
“Dirk? You okay?” Todd asked in a worried tone.

  
“Oh, yes. Quite alright. Where was I?” Dirk quickly replied and moved onto stare at the board of clues they’d put up, ignoring Todd’s worried gaze that followed him.

  
-

  
“Excellent detective work, Farah!” Dirk exclaimed and patted Farah on the shoulder. Farah made a face.

  
“I’m not a detective, Dirk.” She protested.

  
Dirk waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “Oh potayto, potahto.” He said. “Now we need to put this painting back on the wall where it belongs and get out before the man comes back.”

  
Farah nodded in agreement.

  
Dirk bent down to pick up the painting Farah had removed from the wall and lifted it up to hang it up again. However, the familiar sharp pain in his right shoulder forced him to quite aggressively put the painting back down.

  
Farah gave him a confused look.

  
Dirk laughed awkwardly. “Perhaps you could put it back? You know how! Since you, you know, took it down. You’re the expert. Of hanging… This particular painting.” Dirk rambled and walked into the direction of the front door.

  
Farah was left to hang up the painting, furrowing her brows in confusion.

  
-

  
Todd was staring at Dirk. He knew he was, but he didn’t care. Not only was Dirk obviously traumatized by his time in Blackwing, he seemed to be in physical pain too. Of course, the Brit denied it, but fortunately for Todd, he was a terrible liar.

  
For a while now, Todd had noticed that Dirk seemed to be unable to do certain things. Picking up heavy objects, holding his arm in a certain position for long… Even lifting his arm properly. This worried Todd. Dirk obviously didn’t want others to know about his pain, but it was getting ridiculous.

  
Just minutes before, Todd had caught Dirk trying to drink coffee, but his hand kept shaking so much he eventually had to transfer the mug to his left hand.

  
Suddenly Todd’s attention was caught by Farah walking into the room. Dirk gave her an excited grin and Todd gestured for her to come to him, far enough away from Dirk that he couldn’t hear their conversation.

  
“Hey. What’s up?” Farah asked.

  
“Have you noticed anything… Weird about Dirk?” Todd asked.

  
Farah looked amused. “Dirk? Weird?” She questioned.

  
Todd rolled his eyes. “I mean, weirder than usual?” He elaborated.

  
“You mean his arm?” She asked.

  
Todd’s eyes widened. “Yes! Exactly! So you’ve noticed it?” He asked.

  
“Yeah. Seems like it really bothers him.” She commented.

  
“I know right? He’s had such trouble doing a lot of things. What should we do?” Todd replied.

  
“What do you mean?” Farah asked.

  
“Well, something has to be done, right? He’s in pain?” Todd said.

  
Farah seemed to think for a moment. “I guess, but we can’t force him into anything. He doesn’t seem to want to talk about it.” She finally said.

  
“Well, tough luck. We’re his friends, we have the right to worry, right?” Todd said.

  
Farah looked impressed. “You’re right.” She replied.

  
“Okay. Follow my lead.” He said and walked towards Dirk sitting at the table on the other side of the room.

 

Todd sat in front of Dirk and Farah sat next to Todd. Suddenly Todd felt like they were about to give Dirk an intervention.

  
Dirk lifted his gaze from the files he was reading to look at his friends.

  
“Hello Todd. Farah. Is everything alright?” He asked.

  
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Well, actually, no I don’t think it is.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk’s eyes widened with worry.

  
Farah jumped in. “What Todd means is: we’re both fine. But we want to talk to you.”

  
Dirk furrowed his brows. “Alright…?”

  
Farah looked to Todd, silently asking him to do the talking.

  
Todd cleared his throat. “Dirk, we’ve noticed you’re in pain. Your arm, it seems to be… Not well. What’s wrong?”

  
Dirk seemed embarrassed, almost.

  
“Oh, you’ve noticed, have you?” He laughed awkwardly. “It’s nothing, really. Getting harpooned, twice, will do that to you.”

  
Todd raised his eyebrows. “Harpooned? That was months ago, Dirk, you’re still in pain because of that?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk was about to reply, but Farah jumped in.

  
“You never got the chance to recover properly, did you? You didn’t do physical therapy or anything to help with the recovery?” She asked.

  
Dirk nodded, obviously not wanting to talk about why he’d been unable to recover properly. Blackwing.

  
“Oh Dirk…” Todd sighed sympathetically.

  
“It’s not so bad. I just have trouble holding or lifting things and reaching up. And the tremors can be quite inconvenient…” Dirk tried to downplay his trauma.

  
“Dirk, that might never go away if you don’t treat it.” Farah said.

  
Todd stood up. “Okay, that’s it. We’re booking you an appointment.” He said as he went to open his laptop.

  
“You’re what?” Dirk asked.

  
“An appointment. To see someone about your arm. See if they can help. So that you wouldn’t have to be in so much pain.” Todd replied. “Ah, see? There’s a specialist right here in Seattle. I’ll call.”

  
“Todd, I don’t know if-“ Dirk began to protest but Farah lifted her hand to silence him.

  
“Dirk, it’s for your own good. Trust me.” She said.

  
“We’re your friends, Dirk. We’re not gonna just let you suffer when there’s something we could do about it. You’re seeing that doctor. No buts.” Todd said.

  
Dirk didn’t know what to say. He looked between Todd and Farah, who were giving him encouraging looks. Dirk felt warm. These people wanted to help him. Simply because they cared about him.

  
“Thank you. Really.” He finally said.

  
Farah gave his hand on the table a quick squeeze, accompanied by a smile.

  
“That’s what friends are for.” Todd said and lifted the phone to his ear to make the call.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Todd and Dirk find each other in Wendimoor and Todd is at first surprised by Dirk’s ruffled hair and then offers to comb Dirk’s hair with his fingers."

Dirk ran fast, flailing his arms as he went and trying his best not to trip on anything on the forest floor. He glanced behind him to see if The Beast was following him, but so far it seemed like he’d be able to outrun her.

  
His sprint came to a sudden stop when he collided with something in front of him and fell on his arse.

  
“Ouch!” He screeched and looked up to see what he’d ran into.

  
“Son of a-“

  
Or who he’d ran into.

  
“Todd!?” Dirk squealed, recognizing the grumpy voice.

  
“Dirk!?” Todd responded.

  
Quickly they both got up and grinned at each other. Dirk’s hands immediately placed themselves on Todd’s shoulders in excitement, to which Todd responded by grabbing a hold of Dirk’s biceps.

  
“Oh I’m glad I ran into you, though the literal running into each other could have been avoided, nonetheless, most importantly, I solved the case!” Dirk screamed and did a little victory dance.

  
Todd looked puzzled. “Wait, you said you quit being a detective like, an hour ago, and now you’ve solved the case?” He asked.

  
“Yes!” Dirk replied.

  
Todd laughed. “Of course you have.”

  
“No time to waste, Todd, we have work to do!” Dirk exclaimed and patted Todd on the shoulder.

  
“Wait, slow down, how did you solve the case? What happened? Who’s the boy? How do we get out of Wendimoor? Do you know where Amanda is? And… What the hell happened to your hair?” Todd asks in one exhale and then furrows his brows while turning his attention to Dirk’s unusually styled hair.

  
“Oh, yes, that-“

  
“Bibbit rude!” Came a gruff but feminine voice from behind Dirk.

  
Dirk jumped. Todd screamed, reaching for the weapon at his belt.

  
“No, no! Todd! She’s harmless! Well, not harmless per say, she did tie me up and hold me hostage, however, she doesn’t want to hurt us. Or me at least, I’m not sure where she stands with you.” Dirk rambled.

  
Todd blinked a few times. “Huh?”

  
“Bibbit my boyfreen!” The Beast said and hugged Dirk’s leg with her whole body.

  
“You- I am so lost right now.” Todd deadpanned.

  
Dirk shrugged. “It appears that she has grown quite attached to me. Again, rather literally. Anyway, the case-“

  
“Are we really just gonna ignore the creature currently hanging onto your leg?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk looked down at The Beast and then back at Todd. “Yes?”

  
Todd sighed. “Fine. So?”

  
Dirk grinned again. “So! To answer your questions: from clues, while being stuck in that cave of a throne room, Moloch, no idea whatsoever, unfortunately no and what’s wrong with my hair?”

  
Todd took a minute to go over his questions and matching them with Dirk’s answers. He didn’t know where to start, so naturally he looked back up at Dirk’s hair.

  
“It’s… A mess, frankly.” Todd snorted.

  
Dirk furrowed his brows. “Oh.”

  
Todd laughed fondly. “Here, let me.” He said as he reached up to sort out Dirk’s hair, only to find his hand aggressively pushed away at the last second.

  
“MA BOYFREEN!” The Beast screamed.

  
“What the hell!” Todd replied.

  
“Now, now, darling, things are a bit different outside of that cave… Thing.” Dirk explained softly to The Beast.

  
The Beast frowned. “Bibbit my boyfreen.”

  
Dirk stared at her for a moment. “Right. However, I’m not just Bibbit anymore. I’m also Dirk. A non-lumberjack detective. And Todd is my friend.” Dirk gestures towards Todd as he tried to reason with The Beast and all Todd could do was roll his eyes.

  
“Toad Bibbit’s boyfreen?” The Beast asked, visibly confused.

  
Todd’s eyes widened.

  
For once, Dirk seemed at loss for words. After a moment of consideration, however, The Beast however didn’t seem to need an answer.

  
“Bibbit’s boyfreen ok.” The Beast said excitedly and poked Todd in the shin.

  
Todd turned to stare at Dirk.

  
Dirk let out an awkward laugh. “I believe her definition of ‘boyfriend’ might just mean, you know, a friend who’s a boy.” He reasoned.

  
“Right.” Todd replied.

  
“Bibbit still ma boyfreen. Toad no steal. No seefish.” The Beast said and gave Todd a threatening glare. Todd had no idea what would be the best course of action.

  
“Alright, well, we should get moving! We’re on a case!” Dirk exclaimed and nudged The Beast to start walking, well, her way of walking.

  
“Wait.” Todd said and Dirk stilled.

  
Todd walked up to Dirk, quickly glanced at The Beast who was still walking in front of them and then reached up to touch Dirk’s hair. He brushed the messy fringe back into its place and smoothed the shorter hairs down.

 

Not that he would ever admit it, but he might have ended up just petting Dirk’s head and running his fingers through the longer parts once he’d already fixed his hair.

  
Slowly Todd drew his hands back, trying to fight the blush forming on his face.

  
“Thank you, Todd.” Dirk said quietly. He seemed to be blushing slightly too.

  
“Yeah. Sure.” Todd mumbled.

  
Neither of them thought to start walking again, they just stood there, as if challenging each other in a weirdly fond staring contest.

  
“Bibbit and boyfreen slow!” The Beast groaned from a few feet away, breaking their eye contact.

  
Dirk definitely blushed now. “We should-“

  
“Yeah.” Todd said.

  
They started walking. Soon, Todd spoke up again.

  
“You think we could get her to stop calling me your boyfriend before we find my sister? Cause we’ll never hear the end of that.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Any Dirk angst about Priest and the first time he captured Dirk?"

Svlad’s throat was sore from screaming.

  
He didn’t know how long they’d been driving, how long he’d been stuffed in the back of this van, but it felt like forever. He started to feel like the van would never stop.  
A voice came through the wall between him and the driver’s seat.

  
“Seriously, kid, shut up! No one but us can hear you and it’s getting real annoying.” Said one of the guys that had dragged Svlad into the van.

  
He did not stop screaming. He screamed for his mum, he screamed for help, he screamed for God to help him. But nothing happened. The van kept going in a steady pace, taking Svlad further and further away from everything he knew.

  
The van had stopped for periods of time, took weird turns, gone up weird ramps and Svlad kept waiting for him to be let out.

  
Eventually, he wasn’t able to scream anymore. No voice would come out when he tried. His throat hurt and his face was swollen from tears. What did he do to deserve this? It wasn’t his fault he was different from other people? He never asked for it? He tried to be normal, he did. He’d promised to be good, he promised his mum he would be good. He wasn’t given the chance.

  
Svlad didn’t know how much time had passed, but by the time the van came to its final stop, his stomach hurt from hunger and he felt incredibly tired, like all energy had been drained from him.

  
The door to the van opened suddenly and the light hurt Svlad’s eyes.

  
A man with cold eyes and an evil smile stood before Svlad.

  
“Welcome home, Project Icarus.” He said.

  
“What?” Svlad croaked.

  
“This is Blackwing. This is where kids like you belong.” The man said and leaned in to the van to grab Svlad by the arm.

  
“Where’s my mum?” Svlad asked, trying to lean away from the man’s touch but the man was strong. He forced Svlad out of the van.

  
“You don’t have to think about her anymore. She sure won’t be thinking about you.” The man replied and started dragging Svlad towards a grey building.

 

Svlad tried to take in his surroundings in case he could get away from the man. He felt like a heavy rock was placed on his heart when he realized he wasn’t in England anymore.

  
“Wh-what?” Svlad asked.

  
“Your mother told us to take you here. She didn’t want you around. Why would she? This is your home now.” The man said and punched a bunch of numbers into a machine and the doors to the building opened with a loud ringing noise.

  
“She-“

  
“She’s not your mother. Not anymore. This is your new life.” The man said and gestured around the facility they had entered. There were a lot of grey walls, long hallways and weird, too artificial smells. The hallway was cold. Men in white coats watched through a window as the man dragged Svlad further down the hall.

  
“W-why?” Svlad asked, fresh tears forming in his eyes. His arm had started to hurt from the way the man was gripping it.

  
“Because you’re not normal. You cause trouble for normal people. You belong here, where we can keep an eye on you.” The man replied.

  
“I won’t cause trouble, I promise, I-“

  
“Yes, yes you will. You’re dangerous, Svlad. It’s not fair for other people. With you here, normal people are safe.” The man interrupted.

  
Svlad let out a sob. He’d heard that he was different his whole life, but dangerous? Was he really? Was his mum scared of him? Is that why she let those men take him away? Is that why she didn’t love him anymore?

  
The man stopped in front of a door with a weird symbol on it. It was a big diamond shape with a smaller circle inside it and a horizontal line across it.

  
“This is your room.” The man said and pushed Svlad in.

  
The room was dark and cold. It smelled like chemicals. There was a small bed, a cabinet and a table with a single chair. And nothing else.

  
“You might wanna sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.” The man said and turned to leave.

  
“Why? What’s tomorrow?” Svlad asked in a shaky voice.

  
The man smiled in a way that made Svald’s stomach turn. “Your first experiment.”

  
“My what?” Svlad whispered.

  
“You’re different. We want to figure you out.” The man said. Then his expression turned more threatening than any Svlad had seen before. “And I do suggest you help us to. You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t cooperate.”

  
Svlad whimpered. He felt hot tears make their way down his face again. He was afraid of many things; the dark, spiders, monsters under the bed… But he had never been afraid of anything as much as he was of this man.

  
“Please, just let me go, I promise I’ll be good.” Svlad begged.

  
“I can’t do that, Svlad. You’re a monster. This way people are safe and you can be useful. We can make you useful. This is the only way.” The man replied. “And stop crying. It’s annoying.” He added.

  
Svlad tried his best to make the tears stop. He held his breath, trying to control the sobs. He was shaking. This couldn’t be happening.

  
“Why are you doing this? Who are you?” He whispered.

  
The man smiled again. “You can call me Mr. Priest.” He said and slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Svlad alone in the cold, dark room.

  
And during the next decade or so, in that cold, dark room little Svlad would disappear and Project Icarus would take his place.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Todd hurts Dirk's feelings and Dirk tries to hide it."

“Todd, I’m telling you, I’m right about this!” Dirk exclaimed, waving his long arms around enthusiastically.

  
Todd rolled his eyes. “I’ve heard that before.” He replied.

  
“Yes, yes, but I have a hunch! A strong one!” Dirk insisted.

  
Todd sighed. “Fine. We’ll go tomorrow, okay?” He asked.

  
Dirk beamed. “Yes, alright, tomorrow. You’ll see, Todd. I’m right!” He said.

  
“Honestly, as unbelievable as the whole thing sounds, your holisticness does work in unbelievable ways.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk did a flamboyant bow and Todd laughed.

  
“You freak.” Todd laughed and went back to tuning his guitar.

  
Dirk swallowed. There was that word again. Freak. Everyone he’d ever come across had used that word about him sooner or later. The people at Blackwing sure had loved that word. It worked as an excuse to what they did to Dirk. ‘It’s because you’re not normal, you’re a freak’, or ‘you don’t deserve to be treated any better than this, you freak.’

  
Dirk could hear Todd saying something more, but he simply couldn’t get himself to focus on the words.

  
Dirk felt a familiar weight on his chest and hot tears behind his eyes.

  
He had been foolish to assume his new friends would see him any differently. He was a freak after all. Surely Todd, Amanda and Farah were going to see that eventually.

  
“Earth to Dirk?” Todd spoke up.

  
Dirk shifted his gaze to Todd, who looked confused. “Hmm?”

  
“You completely zoned out, man. Are you okay?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk put on his best I Am Indeed Splendid expression. “Yes, of course, Todd, why wouldn’t I be?” He replied, busying himself with the magazine he found on the table, which happened to be one of Todd’s music magazines.

  
“Dirk… What’s wrong?” Todd asked.

  
“Nothing, Todd! What makes you think something’s wrong?” Dirk tried to laugh, but it came out very forced.

  
“Well, you zoned out and looked like you were about to cry. And now you’re reading my music magazine. Upside down.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk looked down and noticed that he was, indeed, holding the magazine the wrong way up. Oops.

  
“Oh. Yes, well… This is how I rea-“

  
“Dirk.” Todd interrupted.

  
Dirk sighed. “Don’t worry about it Todd.”

  
“Did I do something?” Todd asked, slightly worried now.

  
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine.” Dirk replied.

  
“What?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk took a deep breath. Todd wasn’t going to let it go now.

  
“Just that… Well, you said I was freak. Which of course, I knew I am, Blackwing sure made me aware of it, and, well, I just… I guess I wish I wasn’t?” Dirk explained, waving his hand as if to dismiss what he’d said immediately.

  
“Wait, what? I called you a freak?” Todd replied.

  
“Yes. Just now. I guess I just momentarily forgot-“

  
“Dirk! I didn’t even realize I did that! I didn’t mean anything by it? I didn’t think it’d upset you!I probably should have, shouldn’t I? Shit, Dirk, I’m so bad at this.” Todd rambled.

  
“It’s alright, Todd, like I said, I just wish that wasn’t what people thought of me.” Dirk replied.

  
“No, Dirk, I don’t. I don’t think that. I mean… Sure, you’re… Eccentric, but that’s fine? I’m weird! So is Farah! None of us is ‘normal.’ What even is normal? It’s a social construct that- you know what, never mind. Point is… I didn’t mean anything by it. I thought I was just being… Funny? I don’t know, sometimes I still forget to think before I speak. I should’ve known that word wouldn’t sit well with you. I’m… I’m sorry.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk was quiet for a minute. “You really didn’t mean it?” He asked.

  
“No! I promise, Dirk. You’re not a freak. You’re weird. There’s a difference.” Todd said.

  
Dirk smiled. “I am weird.” He agreed.

  
“Yes, yes you are. But there’s nothing wrong with that.” Todd replied.

  
“Because you’re weird too.” Dirk said.

  
Todd laughed. “Yeah, because I’m weird too. I just insulted my best friend by accident, just because I don’t think. That’s weird.” He said.

  
Dirk laughed too. “It is weird.” He agreed.

  
Todd laughed with him. Then his expression shifted from amused to sincere.

  
“You’re not a freak, Dirk. I’m sorry you thought I thought you were.” He said.

  
Dirk smiled. “It’s alright, Todd. It’s a sore subject, I guess.” He explained.

  
Todd nodded. “Well, I promise to never bring it up again. And honestly, if anything is ‘freaky’, it’s adults kidnapping and experimenting on children.” He said.

  
“Thank you.” Dirk replied with a fond smile on his face.

  
No one had ever apologized for calling him that or expressing he was different in anyway. Todd really didn’t think he was a freak. Todd really didn’t care he was different.

  
Dirk really had a real friend.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Todd gets angry/ protective when Dirk is deadnamed?"

Somehow, despite their best efforts, Blackwing had found them. Again. It seemed like a never-ending nightmare to Dirk and his friends.

  
Dirk had gotten to a better place since opening the agency. He no longer avoided sleep to avoid the nightmares and he was able to look at the world through his normal optimistic eyes.

  
However, when Mr. Priest suddenly appeared in the middle of an important case for the agency, it all came rushing back. Dirk felt hopeless. He felt certain he could never escape the hell that was Blackwing and that his dear friends would suffer the consequences.

  
Dirk was currently leaning against a tree, slightly shaking, unable to really focus his eyes on anything concrete. Dirk was well accustomed to panic attacks by now, they had been a frequent part of his stressful childhood, but he had gotten to a place in his life where they occurred very rarely. Really mostly triggered by head on confrontation of his demons. One of which happened to be Mr. Priest.

  
“I’m afraid I can’t leave without Icarus.” Mr. Priest said a few feet in front of Dirk, yet his voice loomed like he was right next to Dirk’s ear. It made Dirk’s skin crawl.

  
“Not happening.” Replied Todd, who had placed himself directly between Dirk and Mr. Priest, which terrified Dirk but he was unable to express this in his current state.

  
“I’m not asking for permission, hobbit.” Mr. Priest replied and took a step closer to Todd and Dirk.

  
Todd, in turn, took a step back to shield Dirk.

  
“Neither am I. You’re not taking him anywhere. You have no right. I suggest you get the hell out of here.” Todd replied.

  
Mr. Priest’s expression darkened, until a sadistic smile overtook his whole face. Dirk felt hot tears behind his eyes. This would likely end in Todd’s death and Dirk’s imprisonment.  
Mr. Priest lifted his gaze from Todd and looked straight at Dirk now.

  
“Come on now, kid. You know this is the only way. You don’t belong out here.” Mr. Priest said.

  
Dirk lowered his eyes to the ground, fighting to catch his breath. He could hear the blood thumping in his ears.

  
“Come with me, Svlad. Come home.” Mr. Priest said in a soft, but firm voice.

  
Dirk squeezed his eyes shut and let out a sob. This couldn’t be happening, not again. No, no, no, no…

  
“That’s enough!”

  
Dirk was suddenly brought back to reality by Todd’s raised voice.

  
Dirk opened his eyes to see Todd stump towards Mr. Priest, standing right before him now and looking up at him with a fierce expression on his face.

  
“His name is Dirk. He’s a detective and a fucking great one. He’s not your lab rat or a weapon! He’s a person! You can’t dictate his life for him, it’s not up to you! He’s Dirk Gently and he’s damn well going to stay and keep running around the country in ridiculously bright jackets if he wants to! That’s his choice. That’s. Who. He. Is!” Todd shouted.

  
Dirk found himself gasping for breath yet again, but for a different reason.

  
He’d gone back to the scared little kid he’d been when he first encountered Mr. Priest. For a moment, Mr. Priest had forced him to be Project Icarus again, to be little Svlad. But Todd was right. That’s not who he is. He refuses to be.

  
“I suggest you don’t anger me, little man.” Mr. Priest warned Todd.

  
Todd balled his hands into fists at his sides. “Then I suggest you stop angering me.” He replied.

  
Mr. Priest reached for his weapon. Dirk’s panicked mind tried to find a course of action that would spare Todd’s life.

  
Then they heard a loud engine of a car approaching.

  
They all turned to look towards the source of the sound to see the Rowdy 3 van approaching.

  
“Oh shit.” Mr. Priest sighed and rubbed his temples.

  
Todd smiled brightly and quickly turned towards Dirk, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from Mr. Priest.

  
Before they disappeared behind a corner of a building, they could see the Rowdy boys jumping out of the van and running towards Mr. Priest, ready to do their thing.  
Todd kept pulling Dirk behind him until he was certain they were far enough from where Mr. Priest would wake up disoriented after the Rowdies were finished with him.

  
They both took a minute to catch their breaths.

  
Then Todd looked at Dirk softly. “You okay, Dirk?” He asked, his voice full of concern.

  
Dirk smiled. He’d never been happier to hear his name spoken.

  
“Yes, Todd. I’m quite alright.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Todd having a pararibulitis attack and "sees" Dirk getting shot."

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency was filled with laughter.

  
The sun had gone down, case files had been filed away and the friends were now sitting around and catching up.

  
Amanda had rolled back into town unexpectedly, which was a positive surprise to Todd as well as Dirk and Farah.

  
Amanda, of course, had several crazy stories to tell them from her months on the road with the Rowdies. Dirk was quick to ask a million follow-up questions before telling Amanda about the crazy cases they’d themselves been involved in.

  
“We had to climb in through the window!” Dirk exclaimed, flailing his long arms around in excitement.

  
“That’s kind of your thing by now, isn’t it?” Amanda remarked, making Farah laugh.

 

“I wouldn’t say it’s my thing. Or perhaps it is? How do you define someone’s ‘thing’?” Dirk rambled on.

  
Todd zoned out again, the voices of his friends a comforting background noise. Todd was happy. His sister had come back to see him. She’d wanted to see him. Todd felt like he was getting her back and he hoped she felt like he was beginning to be the brother worth having in her life.

  
Dirk seemed to practically glow with happiness. Dirk was usually giddy, but some of it was an act. An act which Todd had come to recognize. Tonight though, Dirk seemed genuinely at ease, a smile never leaving his face. Seeing Dirk so happy made Todd happy.

  
Farah seemed more relaxed than most of the time. Farah rarely let her guard down, she always seemed to focus on how she was coming across. Tonight she was laughing freely, letting her shoulders slump from the military posture she usually held.

  
Todd watched the most important people in his life chatting, filling the room with laughter.

  
Todd was happy. He really was.

  
Which is why he couldn’t figure out why he felt a prickle of anxiety at the back of his mind. It made no sense. He was fine? Better than fine? Why had he suddenly started feeling uneasy?

  
Todd had been struggling with pararibulitis for several months now, so he’d come to notice the warning signs of an oncoming attack. Perhaps this time Todd had waited for too long without taking his medicine, hoping he was wrong, since an attack felt completely out of place at this moment.

  
When Todd finally went to reach into his pocket for his medicine, he froze in shock.

  
He was holding a gun. Why on earth was he holding a gun? He was spending time with his friends, why would he need a gun?

  
The view scared Todd. He started to feel even more uncomfortable, his breathing getting labored.

  
He wanted to put the gun away. It made him nervous.

  
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to tell himself it was the disease, it was the pararibulitis. There was no gun. There was no gun. There was no gun…

  
“Todd?” He suddenly heard someone call out his name.

  
Todd jumped, completely caught off guard.

  
As a result, he heard the gun go off.

  
Todd quickly opened his eyes in panic. He saw Dirk standing in front of him. His expression was soft, his eyebrows burrowed in confusion. His hair was perfectly in place and he seemed steady on his feet. Which made no sense because…

  
Because Todd had just shot him.

  
Dirk’s white shirt was slowly turning red from the bullet wound on the right side of his stomach.

  
“Dirk! Oh my god! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Oh god!” Todd started screaming. He jumped up from his chair and immediately leaned closer to Dirk, putting his hands on the wound to stop the bleeding.

  
“Todd? I’m-“ Dirk tried to speak but Todd cut him off.

  
“Oh my god. Oh my god. You’re gonna be okay, Dirk, I promise, I’ll help you. Oh my god!” Todd panted.

  
Todd turned his eyes towards Amanda and Farah, who were looking at him like he was crazy.

  
“What are you doing! Help! We need to get him help!” Todd screamed and that seemed to get the girls out of their trance.

  
“Todd, what is it? What happened?” Amanda asked, taking a careful step towards Todd and Dirk.

  
Todd couldn’t believe his ears. “What happened? Didn’t you see? Oh my god, I just shot Dirk! I didn’t mean to, I swear, I didn’t even realize I was holding a gun and he made me jump I swear I didn’t- oh my god.” Todd rambled, having to stop to catch his breath.

  
“Todd, where are your pills?” Dirk asked.

  
Todd turned to look at him. “What?”

  
“Where are your pills?” Dirk asked again.

  
“Wha- Who cares! We need to help you!” Todd replied angrily. How could Dirk ignore his own pain like that?

  
Todd felt Dirk put his hands on each side of his face. He looked at Dirk’s face but his hands remained on the bullet wound on his stomach.

  
“Todd. You’re having a pararibulitis attack.” Dirk said in a soft voice.

  
“N-no I’m not. You- you’re the one who’s hurt.” Todd stammered.

  
“Todd, I’m not hurt. I’m alright.” Dirk said.

  
Todd could do nothing but stare ahead. He turned to look at Amanda, who was nodding sympathetically. Then he looked at Farah, who still seemed taken aback.

  
“But- But I…” Todd stammered.

  
Dirk removed his hands from Todd’s face and carefully reached for the pocket of Todd’s jeans.

  
“Don’t move so much! The blood…” Todd said, his voice quieter than before.

  
Dirk put one of his hands on top of Todd’s, still desperately holding Dirk’s stomach.

  
With his other hand, Dirk fished the bottle of pills out of Todd’s pocket and handed it towards Todd.

  
“Please, take them.” Dirk said.

  
“But-“ Todd protested but Dirk cut him off.

  
“I’ll put pressure on my, uh, wound while you do, alright? It’s alright.” Dirk said softly and placed the bottle of pills in Todd’s hand while slipping his own hand under Todd’s to his stomach.  
Todd’s hands were shaking. He fumbled with the bottle cap, smearing Dirk’s blood all over it.

  
Dirk reached out to help him but Todd protested.

  
“No! Keep- keep pressing the-“ He ordered.

  
Dirk nodded and placed both of his hands back on his stomach.

  
Todd swallowed his medicine and looked at Dirk.

  
“You should lay down.” Todd told him.

  
Dirk nodded. “Let’s both sit down, okay?”

  
Todd shook his head. “No, you need to lay down.” He said.

  
“Alright. I’ll lay down.” Dirk said and placed himself on the floor. Todd sat next to him, refusing to move his hands from Dirk’s stomach again.

  
A few minutes of Todd muttering about needing an ambulance later, all the blood was gone.

  
Todd blinked a few times. How- Oh.

  
It was an attack. Of course it was. Todd felt like an idiot.

  
“Todd?” Amanda asked as she sat down next to her brother.

  
“Yeah.” Todd replied.

  
“You okay now?” She asked.

  
Todd sighed. “Fine.”

  
Amanda put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

  
“That was a bad one, huh?” She asked.

  
“I still feel shaky.” Todd said.

  
Dirk sat up, assuming Todd no longer thought he was hurt.

  
Todd looked at Dirk with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry, Dirk.”

  
Dirk furrowed his brows. “What for?”

  
Todd gave him a pointed look. “You know, freaking out on you like that.”

  
Dirk scooted closer to Todd. “Todd. There is no need for apologies. You can’t help your illness. It’s completely fine.” Dirk assured him.

  
Todd nodded. He knew that. Of course he knew that. The attacks just made him feel all kinds of wrong.

  
“So, you thought you shot Dirk?” Farah asked. “I thought the attacks only made you see things that hurt you?”

  
Todd thought for a moment. “I thought so too. That’s never happened before.” He finally said.

  
“Well,” Amanda spoke up, “Shooting Dirk would hurt you, just not physically. Who says the attacks can only be about physical pain?”

  
Todd thought about that for a moment. He had felt completely helpless during the attack. He had been desperately afraid of losing Dirk and disgusted with himself for hurting him.

  
“Has that happened to you?” Todd asked his sister.

  
“No. But it sounds like a fucking cruel attack and pararibulitis is a stone cold bitch.” Amanda shrugged.

  
Todd let out a weak laugh. “That it is.”

  
Then he turned towards Dirk again. The Brit immediately responded with a huge smile. Todd couldn’t help but smile back.

  
“I know it was just in my head, but…” Todd said, unsure of how to express his messy thoughts. “Oh what the hell.” He muttered and threw his arms around Dirk, bringing the surprised detective against his chest. After Dirk recovered from the surprise, he wrapped his arms around Todd’s back.

  
“I’m glad you’re okay.” Todd whispered.

  
Dirk squeezed Todd just a little bit harder.

  
“I’m glad you are, too.” Dirk said.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I have an angsty af prompt based off a gif you posted a while ago about Dirk flinching when Todd had touched his arm :) What if Todd had noticed Dirk flinching a lot more since he came back?"

Todd’s heart ached.

  
He hadn’t even thought about it, really. Todd wasn’t a very affectionate guy, but he was human, so casual touch was a common gesture to him with the people closest to him.

  
The week Todd had spent with Dirk starting with their first meeting was filled with Dirk patting him on the shoulder or sitting close enough to him to brush shoulders. Dirk seemed to crave physical contact.

  
Then Blackwing took him.

  
Since he’d been back, Dirk had been avoiding being close to his friends. He seemed thrilled to see them, but physically and emotionally, he seemed distant.

  
Every time Todd had absentmindedly come close to Dirk or reached out to touch him, the Brit would jump out of Todd’s touch, his eyes conveying slight panic, until he’d blaster a smile onto his face again. But that smile didn’t convince Todd. To others, it may have been reassuring, but Todd had seen Dirk’s genuine smiles. He’d seen Dirk enjoy things and reassure others. This smile wasn’t like that. This smile said ‘oops, I let my guard down for a minute, let’s forget it.’

  
So, when Todd reached to steady Dirk as they walked down the creaky steps of an old building and Dirk practically flew to the other side of the staircase to escape Todd’s touch, Todd’s heart ached. Something was definitely wrong.

  
Todd held his tongue until they got back to their now shared apartment. He was certain something wasn’t quite right with Dirk and he felt the need to confront him about it.

  
They sat next to each other on the couch, but far apart enough to leave some space between them. Dirk was examining the baby doll they had found earlier that day. Crucial to the case, according to Dirk.

  
“Dirk.” Todd spoke up.

  
“Yes, Todd?” Dirk replied, not lifting his gaze from the doll in his hands.

  
“I wanna talk to you.” Todd said carefully.

  
“What about?” Dirk asked and turned the doll over in his hands.

  
Todd sighed. “Dirk, would you look at me?” Todd asked and reached out to touch Dirk’s hand.

 

The gesture was met with a twitch so strong Dirk almost dropped the doll. He did finally turn to look at Todd.

  
“That’s what I mean, Dirk, we need to talk about this.” Todd said, no longer willing to let the subject be.

  
“What do you mean, Todd?” Dirk asked, furrowing his brows and finally placing the doll on the coffee table in front of them.

  
“What’s going on with you, Dirk?” Todd asked in return.

  
“I don’t know what you’re referring to?” Dirk questioned.

  
Todd sighed. Of course he didn’t.

  
“Did you notice how you just reacted to me touching you?” Todd asked, trying to ease into the conversation.

  
“No?” Dirk replied unsurely.

  
“You… You panic, every time I, or anyone, for that matter, touches you. You jump. Every time.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk remained quiet for a moment. “I do?” He finally asked, the realization dawning on him.

  
“Yeah. I first noticed it during the Cardenas case. Right… Right after you got back from Blackwing.” Todd said quietly.

  
Dirk didn’t reply. He did look away from Todd, fiddling his hands in his lap. That was an answer enough for Todd.

  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk sighed. “No. But I have a feeling you’re going to make me.” He replied.

  
“I won’t make you do anything, Dirk. You’re not at Blackwing anymore. I’m your friend. I just… I just think that you’re not as okay as you say or even think you are.” Todd said.

  
Dirk swallowed. “I suppose that wouldn’t be a completely illogical deduction.” He finally replied in a soft voice.

  
Todd didn’t say anything. He waited for Dirk to speak again, knowing he’d pushed Dirk enough.

  
“I guess… I guess the mindset I grew accustomed to at Blackwing hasn’t completely gone away. I was there for a long time as a child. Years. So, being back, even for just over two months, just shifted me right back to how I was in those years. It felt like no time had passed at all. It was all the same. I guess it takes time to get used to being free again.” Dirk explained.

  
Todd wanted to comfort his friend badly. His first thought was to place his hand on top of Dirk’s, hoping to convey his support through touch, but he caught himself before he made the move. This all started with Dirk’s newfound discomfort with touch.

  
“I suppose for two months, and for years before those two months, the only time anyone touched me was to hurt me. It’s quite easy to grow accustomed to. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. It just seems that my body doesn’t remember that. It just remembers the hurt.” Dirk continued. His voice grew quieter towards the final words.

  
Todd had assumed Dirk’s discomfort with touch had come from whatever pain he had endured during his time in Blackwing, but hearing it confirmed with words still hurt. Todd felt like crying and punching a wall at the same time. Or punching Friedkin. Man he’d like to kick that moron’s ass.

  
“Dirk… I don’t know how to help you. I have no idea what to do to make you feel better or more comfortable but at least know that you’re safe now. I would do anything to keep you safe. So would Farah. And Amanda. That painful part of your life is over. Take all the time you need to adjust, but just remember that.” Todd explained softly.

  
Dirk smiled in response. Todd couldn’t help but smile himself. He recognized this smile. It was a genuine smile. Dirk wasn’t hiding things or trying to convince him of something. This smile conveyed real emotion.

  
“Thank you, Todd.” Dirk said. “I’m sorry if I caused you to worry.”

  
“Don’t apologize, Dirk. It’s not your fault.” Todd assured him.

  
They sat quietly for a moment. Then Todd got an idea.

  
“Give me your hand.” He said.

  
“What?” Dirk asked, a confused expression on his face.

  
“Just give me your hand, Dirk.” Todd sighed but smiled.

  
Unsurely, Dirk lifted his hand from his lap and reached out towards Todd. Todd took Dirk’s left hand into both of his own. He held on firmly enough to, hopefully, convey support, but softly enough not to make Dirk uncomfortable.

  
“What are you doing?” Dirk asked.

  
“You’ve only been exposed to touch meant to hurt you for a long time. I’m exposing you to… Well, the opposite.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk’s whole face seemed to visibly soften. His eyes gleamed with unshed tears and a small smile graced his lips.

  
“Todd…” he whispered.

  
“I can’t promise that any of the wackos we encounter regularly won’t try to hurt you, but at least that’s not the only physical contact in your life. I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, but at least you have people in your life that want to be around you without hurting you or gaining something from you now.” Todd explained, feeling slightly embarrassed, not being used to such sincere expressions of emotion in his life previously. He had stepped out of his comfort-zone but the look on Dirk’s face told him it was worth it. Despite his emotional constipation, he did care for Dirk very much and Dirk obviously needed to hear it. And feel it.

  
“You don’t know how much that means to me.” Dirk whispered.

  
Todd softly squeezed Dirk’s hand as an acknowledgement of Dirk’s words.

  
After a moment of comfortable silence, Dirk squeezed Todd’s hand back, now more relaxed in the physical closeness he and Todd shared.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I would sell my soul for a Brotzly proposal fic, either with Dirk proposing to Todd via an elaborate scheme or Todd proposing to Dirk to prove that he's never going to leave Dirk’s life."

Dirk kept squinting around the office, looking for anything even slightly out of place. He had a hunch.

  
No, it was more than a hunch. The universe constantly gave him some sort of hints on various things but this was something different. He hadn’t felt this on edge in ages. The universe was definitely communicating something, something big. He could feel it in his bones. It even woke him up that morning. Something big was going to happen and he would be in the center of it again. But he could not figure out what it was. He had no idea. And that frustrated him to no end.

  
It felt like the universe was purposefully playing with him. It felt like someone saying ‘I know a secret, a huge one, but I can’t tell you!’ All Dirk knew for sure was that something was coming and it would have a huge effect on him.

  
The last time he’d felt this strong of a pull from the universe was right at the beginning of the Lydia Spring case, which changed his life for good. Another time had been right before his escape from Blackwing the first time, as well as being taken into Blackwing as a boy. Those events were ones that changed Dirk’s life in a major way.

  
Since this feeling was similar, Dirk couldn’t help but worry. It could be anything, really. Escaping from Blackwing and meeting his friends through the Spring case were good changes. It could potentially be a change for the better. Dirk sighed. The universe was rarely kind to Dirk.

  
In fact, Dirk had been waiting for the universe to throw some kind of a curve ball for a while now. For the past months, nearly a year, things had been nice, almost unbelievably so. Of course, dangerous situations and people came across the agency all the time, but there were so many good things that weighed more.

  
Dirk finally got his own detective agency. It had been his dream since he was a little child! And now it was up and running. And doing well, too!

  
Dirk had friends. Who would have thought? Dirk actually had friends and he would cherish them forever.

  
And Dirk had Todd.

  
Just the thought of his partner - in all senses of the word - made Dirk’s heart flutter. Now, if having friends was a hard concept to wrap his head around, having a boyfriend was ten times harder to believe.

  
For many months now, Todd, in addition to being his partner in business and occasional crime, had also been Dirk’s romantic partner. Dirk still didn’t quite know what to call him - Dirk had no previous experience and Todd rolled his eyes at words like ‘boyfriend’ and ‘partner.’

  
Simply put, Dirk had never been more happy or content in his life.

  
Which is why this shift in the stream of creation made Dirk nervous. He wanted nothing less than to lose the good things in his life, but based on previous experience, it was more than likely.

  
“Dirk?” Todd’s voice broke Dirk out of his trance. The tea on his desk had gone cold.

  
“Todd! Farah! Hello. Nice of you to join me.” Dirk chirped, trying to push the thoughts of whatever was going to happen aside.

  
“Hey, Dirk.” Farah said as she sat down at her desk.

  
“How long have you been here? I woke up to the absence of snoring.” Todd said and leaned over to place a kiss on Dirk’s forehead. Dirk blushed.

  
“Not long. An hour or so.” Dirk replied.

  
Todd furrowed his brows, looking over his boyfriend with questioning eyes. “A hunch?” He asked.

  
Dirk flinched a little, hoping it went unnoticed by Todd. It didn’t.

  
“Something like that.” Dirk responded.

  
“We got a case?” Farah asked from her desk. Despite her denying it when asked, Farah had become as much a part of the agency as Dirk and Todd.

  
“No, no case. Not yet anyway.” Dirk replied.

  
Todd placed a hand on Dirk’s shoulder. “What’s going on?” He asked in a soft voice he only reserved for Dirk.

  
Dirk sighed. “Nothing. Something, maybe. Eventually. I don’t know.” Dirk said.

  
Todd looked at him questioningly.

  
“Just a feeling.” Dirk explained.

  
“Wanna talk about it?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk thought for a moment. “No. I’d rather not even think about it.” He finally replied.

  
Todd nodded slowly. “So it’s not… A good feeling?” He asked.

  
Dirk threw his hands in the air in frustration. “I don’t know! I can’t tell! The universe only ever gives me enough to let me know something is happening or going to happen but not enough to tell me what to do or how to feel about it!” He exclaimed.

  
“Whatever it is, Dirk, it’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.” Todd promised.

  
“Define fine…” Dirk muttered.

  
“What do you mean?” Todd asked.

  
Suddenly Dirk jumped up from his chair and started pacing the room.

  
“I don’t know, Todd, I don’t know anything! Whatever happens, I’m always ‘fine’ in the sense that I survive and continue existing but I want more than that! For years I wanted more than that and I’ve finally got a life I like and now what? I’m just going to have to give it up? Sure, I will be fine, I will continue to exist but existing isn’t living! I was ‘fine’ at Blackwing but was it enjoyable? No! Did it leave me mentally scarred? Yes! For the first time I have what I actually want but of course the universe has decided that enough is enough! I never get what I want! It’s unfair! I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to be alone again. I don’t want to be alone.” Dirk ranted in a shaky voice.

  
Todd walked closer to his boyfriend and quickly took both of Dirk’s hands into his. Dirk looked at him with tears in his eyes. Todd’s heart ached at that look. He’d seen it before. Dirk was scared.

  
“Dirk. You’re not going to be alone.” Todd assured.

  
Dirk squeezed his eyes shut. “You don’t know that.”

  
“Yes I do.” Todd continued. “You think you’re at the mercy of the universe’s will, right? It tells you where to go and what to do?”

  
Dirk nodded, giving Todd a confused look.

  
“Right, okay, but it’s not like that for me.” Todd said.

  
Dirk blinked a few times. “What do you mean?”

  
Todd grasped Dirk’s hands tighter. “I mean, I’m not psychi-“ The glare Dirk gave him made him backtrack, “I’m not holistic anything. I’m just a person. I don’t hear the universe, it doesn’t tell me what to do or where to go. I get to choose. And I choose you.” Todd explained, his voice getting softer towards the end of his sentence.

  
“You-“ Dirk stuttered, not sure what to say.

  
Todd took a deep breath. “I guess… You’re my universe. Not like you order me around or anything but… I go where you go. You have to go where the universe tells you to? You feel like you don’t get to choose? Fine. Because I do. And I choose to follow wherever the universe tells you to go.” Todd said.

  
During Todd’s little speech, Dirk had started softly crying.

  
“As… As long as that’s what you want, too.” Todd awkwardly added.

  
Dirk let out a wet laugh. “Of course it is!” He said.

  
Todd laughed too. “Okay. Good.”

  
Then Todd cleared his throat and let go of Dirk’s hands slowly, his own hands shaking. Dirk raised an eyebrow at Todd.

  
“Well, since we’re on the subject of always being together…” Todd said and slowly dropped down on one knee.

  
Dirk’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, Todd.”

  
“Dirk.”

  
“Oh my god.”

  
“Can I do this, please, before I lose my nerve?” Todd teased Dirk who kept interrupting.

  
“Yes, yes, go ahead. Oh my god.” Dirk replied quickly, motioning Todd to continue.

  
Todd cleared his throat again.

  
“Dirk. I know life with you means getting chased by crazy people, time traveling and alternate dimensions. I know neither of us knows what could happen the next day. But I also know that I want to be there for all that. I don’t want to go back to what my life was before. You… You make me a better person. I was… I was pretty hellbent on not needing or deserving anyone but… I need you. And despite my best efforts, I’m still selfish enough to want you, whether I deserve you or not. And I promise I’ll try to be someone who deserves to be with you. And I promise you’ll never have to be alone again. I meant it, Dirk, I’m not going anywhere. So…” Todd reached into the pocket of his denim jacket and pulled out a little velvet box. Dirk was openly crying now.

  
“Dirk, will you marry-“

  
“Yes!” Dirk screamed and threw himself into Todd’s arms, taking Todd off-guard so that they both ended up more or less laying on the floor.

  
Todd laughed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, no, fiancé.

  
“Couldn’t wait for one more word could you?” He asked and pressed a kiss to the side of Dirk’s head.

  
“I’m sorry! Appears I really, truly couldn’t!” Dirk said as he pulled away from Todd and sat up so they could look at each other again.

  
Dirk leaned in to kiss Todd, which Todd happily accepted. He’d known Dirk would say yes, of course he had, but still, he couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief wash over him at Dirk’s enthusiastic reaction.

  
When they pulled apart, Todd raised the ring box to Dirk’s eye level.

  
“Can I?” He asked and nodded towards Dirk’s hand.

  
“Oh! Yes, please!” Dirk exclaimed and offered his hand to Todd. Todd took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Dirk’s ring finger.

  
“Oh thank god it fits.” Todd chuckled.

  
“It’s perfect! You’re perfect!” Dirk said and threw his arms around Todd again. Todd laughed.

  
“I love you.” Dirk said.

  
“Shit I didn’t even say that in my speech, did I? I love you too, Dirk.” Todd replied. Dirk laughed.

  
“You guys…” Came a soft third voice, suddenly.

  
Both men turned to look at Farah, still sat at her desk.

  
“Oh my god, I totally forgot you were even here.” Todd said, a little embarrassed and helped Dirk up from the floor.

  
Farah laughed. “Congratulations you guys! This is huge!” She exclaimed, unusual to her.

  
Dirk stilled. “Oh my god.” He said.

  
“What?” Todd asked.

  
“This is it. This is the huge thing! This is what changes everything! This is what the universe was telling me! We’re getting married!” Dirk exclaimed.

  
“Seriously?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes! It’s obvious, isn’t it? Well, no, not to you, but yes! This is it!” Dirk squealed.

  
Todd laughed. “Well, it wasn’t so bad after all, was it?” He asked and put his arm around Dirk’s back.

  
Dirk grinned. “No, not at all. Not at all, Todd.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Gripps paints Dirk’s nails!"

Todd loved seeing his sister laugh. There had been a time where he worried he’d never see her truly happy and relaxed. Then there had been a time where he worried she wouldn’t let him close enough to see her newfound confidence. Things were finally looking up.

  
Even if she was laughing at Todd’s expense.

  
It felt good to see her laugh and enjoy her time with him, after everything they’d been through.

 

“I’m glad you came, sis.” Todd said out of the blue.

  
“Me too. Bro.” Amanda replied and punched Todd on the arm, brushing off the weight of the exchange.

  
Suddenly a loud rumble of an engine came from outside Todd’s apartment.

  
“That your ride?” Todd asked, already knowing the answer.

  
“That’d be the boys, yeah.” Amanda laughed in response and grabbed her bag from the floor.

  
“I’ll walk you out.” Todd said and lead his sister to the door.

  
“I need to locate Dirk. I’ve left him alone for an hour, who knows what he’s gotten into in that time.” Todd said as they made their way down and out the main entrance.

  
“Oh, he’s with the Rowdies.” Amanda replied.

  
Todd stilled on the steps leading up to his apartment building.

  
“He is?” He asked.

  
Amanda nodded. “Yeah. Vogel said something about an open seat in the van and Dirk looked like he shat himself but jumped in anyway.” She explained.

  
Todd sighed. “Why does that not reassure me?”

  
Amanda let out a loud laugh.

  
The door to the Rowdy van flew open right in front of the Ridgley.

  
“Drummer!” Vogel’s voice came immediately.

  
“Yo.” Amanda responded, throwing her back at Vogel, which he caught easily & threw it into the van.

  
Todd scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Hey. Have you guys seen-“

  
“Stop moving!” Came Gripps’ voice, interrupting what Todd was about to ask.

  
“We were just driving and, no offense to you, Martin, the driver is exceptionally reckless. How am I moving any more now than the car just was?” Came Dirk’s matter-of-fact voice from inside the van.

  
Todd furrowed his brows and stepped closer to the van. Cross gave him a stern look, no doubt still holding a grudge for Todd for hurting ‘Drummer’ as they called Amanda. Todd swallowed uncomfortably.

 

Eventually Cross moved over enough to let Todd see into the van, the borderline murderous look never leaving his face.

  
At the furthest corner of the van sat Dirk, with his hands on Gripps’ lap. At first, Todd couldn’t make any sense of what they were doing. Then, Dirk lifted his left hand to his face to get a better look at his nails with a huge grin on his face.

  
Gripps was painting Dirk’s nails.

  
“Driving ain’t annoying. Your fidgeting is.” Gripps mumbled.

  
Todd had never seen the punk rock vampire as focused as he was while applying the nail polish on Dirk’s fingernails. Dirk was smiling like the sun, which wasn’t unusual, but he did seem to be very excited about his fashion choice.

  
“Dirk?” Todd asked, his voice giving away his amusement.

  
Dirk turned quickly to the direction of Todd’s voice.

  
“Todd!” He exclaimed.

  
“Stop fidgeting, fidgety man!” Gripps groaned in frustration.

  
“Oops, pardon me!” Dirk said and turned his attention back to the man doing his nails.

  
“Got into any trouble while I hung out with Amanda?” Todd asked playfully.

  
“Oh, no, we had pleasant and calm time. Well, not pleasant at first. And not actually very calm, at all, quite un-calm, but no trouble. All good.” Dirk replied in a Dirk-like ramble.  
“Done!” Gripps announced while raising his arms over his head victoriously.

  
“Oh fantastic! Well done, Gripps!” Dirk exclaimed and examined his nails once again. “You have a talent!” Dirk praised.

  
Gripps grinned and pretended to wipe some non-existent dust off his shoulder.

  
Dirk quickly patted Gripps on said shoulder, careful not to mess up his freshly painted nails, and jumped out of the van.

  
“Hey Dirk!” Amanda exclaimed and wrapped Dirk in a hug.

  
“Watch the paint!” Dirk squealed and then carefully wrapped his arms across Amanda’s back. “Hello Amanda. Had a nice time, did you?”

  
Amanda smiled. “Sure did. Good to see you. We need to spend more time together next time I’m in town, ‘kay?” She asked.

  
Dirk gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up.

  
Amanda climbed into the van and fist-pumped each and every one of the Rowdies.

 

Then the engine revved again and they all waved at Dirk and Todd, except Amanda who flipped them off.

  
The van could be heard even after they disappeared from view. Dirk kept waving as long as he heard the noise because of course he did.

  
“Lemme see.” Todd said, crabbing Dirk’s hand as Dirk carried out his final waves.

  
Dirk gave him a confused look until he saw Todd turn his hand over to look at his nails.

  
“Oh, right. It was just something silly that Gripps wanted to do. He likes it. He’s quite good at it. So, I thought: hey, why not?” Dirk explained.

  
Todd couldn’t help but smile at the bright yellow nail polish Dirk had already managed to smudge in some places.

  
“I like it.” Todd said.

  
“You do?” Dirk asked.

  
“Yeah. It suits you.” Todd said and turned around to walk back into the building.

  
He could hear Dirk happily skipping behind him.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Inspired by that post about Dirk speaking Romanian, maybe he’s ranting about something during a case and just slips into Romanian and the others are staring at him like he’s grown two heads?"
> 
> A/N: as I said on tumblr, I do not speak Romanian whatsoever, so go easy on me. If some of you do & find mistakes, I'll happily correct them of course!
> 
> Update: I got some feedback over on tumblr, and the few grammar mistakes I made should now be corrected!

Farah blinked rapidly, trying to keep her eyes open. Todd had as good as given up, resting his head in his hands and sighing deeply.

  
Dirk was as exhausted as his friends, however, true to his nature, he did everything he could to work through it. He paced the floor of the agency, thinking out loud the whole time as Farah and Todd tried to stay awake and follow Dirk’s train of thought.

  
“What am I missing, what am I missing… Surely there’s something that’s slipping my mind. What is it! Think Dirk, think.” He mumbled.

  
“Dirk.” Todd groaned and lifted his face off his hands to look at his friend. “It’s 3am. We’ve all been up for almost 24 hours. Let’s just take a break-“

  
“No! We can’t! This man, or perhaps a woman, or perhaps neither, will make another statue soon, if my hunch is correct, and we need to stop him, her, them and we can’t do that without figuring out what his, her, their motive is!” Dirk rambled.

  
Todd sighed and Farah finally let her eyes close.

  
“Dirk, we don’t know who this guy is, how can we possibly know his motive?” Todd said as he rubbed his eyes.

  
“That’s what we’re here to figure out, Todd, focus! This is important! We need to get into the suspect’s head. Why would this person make statues out of people? We need to think like this person is thinking, do some real detective work!” Dirk goes on, barely taking the time to breathe in between sentences. “What are they thinking… What… are they thinking… Who would do this? Cine… Oh!” He suddenly froze.

  
Todd and Farah raised their eyes towards Dirk, the expression of realization clear on his face. Then Dirk started rambling again, but this time it was even harder for Todd and Farah to follow.

  
“Desigur, desigur. Acel profesor! Trebuie să fie! Profesorul știe cum! El s-a simțit neapreciat… Poate că s-a înfuriat. Una dintre victime a fost elevul său… Trebuie să existe o legătură cu ceilalți. Poate că i-au rănit mândria oarecum. Aproape știu răspunsul! Ce este… Ce este…“ Dirk spoke quickly and loudly, waving his hands around the whole time.

  
Todd and Farah turned to look at each other as if to ask ‘are you hearing what I’m hearing?’.

  
“Dirk…?” Todd asked carefully.

  
“Ce?” Dirk turned to look at his friend.

  
“What, uh… What just happened?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk furrowed his brows. “Ce vrei sa spui?” He asked.

  
“Yeah, Dirk, I don’t understand you right now.” Todd said.

  
Dirk stared at his friend for a moment before he realized what Todd meant. Oh.

  
“Oh dear.” Dirk said.

  
“Oh good, we’re back to English.” Todd joked.

  
“Pardon me, I do seem to be a bit tired.” Dirk chuckled awkwardly.

  
“What language was that?” Farah asked.

  
“Romanian.” Dirk replied nonchalantly.

  
“You know Romanian?” Todd asked with a surprised expression.

  
“Oh yes. It’s my native language, after all.” Dirk explained and a briefly looked like he regretted it.

  
“Your- Really? How come you-“ Todd tried to ask follow-up questions, surprised by his friends revelation but Dirk quickly cut him off.

  
“As I was saying, the Sculptor HAS to be the professor! We need to go see him right away!” Dirk said and grabbed his coat from the back of his chair.

  
“Spit spot!” He exclaimed and started marching out of the door.

  
“What the hell just happened…” Farah muttered as she grabbed her coat and followed Dirk out.

  
“Dirk! You’re hard enough to understand in English, please don’t make us try to figure out your thought process in Romanian!” Todd exclaimed after Dirk.

  
“The professor, Todd!” Dirk’s voice could be heard disappearing behind the corner.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "What if Dirk, after seeing how quickly Ken turned away from his friendship with Bart to join Blackwing, started thinking Todd would do the same, if offered? And him being really insecure, he would believe he deserved it, too... And maybe, in some way, Todd finds out? And he's a little pissed but mostly just wants to comfort his friend."

Finding out about Ken working for Blackwing had been like a slap in the face for Dirk. Sure, he didn’t know Ken well, or at all really, after all he’d only met the man once, but he had been one of the good guys. He’d been Bart’s friend. Bart, who Blackwing had captured, just like Dirk. Bart’s friend Ken had teamed up with the people that ruined Bart’s childhood.

  
Every time Dirk thought about it, his heart dropped into his stomach. He knew there were bad people in the world, he’d sure met his fair share of them, but he’d never thought someone could just… Turn bad? Again, he barely knew Ken, but he did know Bart, or at least he understood Bart, so seeing someone she trusted turn on her like that made Dirk feel hopeless.  
He felt sad for Bart. Just like Dirk, she didn’t have many people in her life. Her first real friend had betrayed her. Dirk’s heart went out for her.

  
More selfishly, Dirk suddenly felt very unsure of himself. Had he been foolish in trusting the people he’d befriended? They were all nice people who had helped him a lot, but wasn’t that what Ken had been for Bart? Blackwing had a way of manipulating people and Dirk wasn’t exactly the easiest person to be around. What would it take for his friends to turn on him? Todd hadn’t exactly been excited about Dirk’s entrance into his life in the first place. How much of his shenanigans would be too much for Todd to handle? Would he think it’d be easier to work against Dirk instead of with him?

  
A while ago Dirk wouldn’t have even entertained the thought. Blackwing was pure evil. Todd wasn’t. But Bart hadn’t thought Ken was either. Yet, Ken chose to betray Bart in the worst way possible. In the end, it worked more to Ken’s benefit to ditch Bart and lock her up.

  
What did Todd really benefit from being Dirk’s friend? Nobody wanted to be in constant danger? Nobody wanted an uncertain future? Nobody wanted to spend all their time with someone who caused those things? Nobody wanted to spend all their time with someone who annoyed them?

  
These thoughts wouldn’t leave Dirk alone, no matter what he did. Todd and Farah didn’t seem any different since the Cardenas case. Todd was his grumpy but caring self as Farah was her guarded but kickass self.

  
But Dirk looked at them differently. More than once he had woken up in the middle of a night from a nightmare where Todd smiled at him fondly only for his expression to turn into a chilling, evil grin as he locked Dirk in his Blackwing cell.

  
Dirk felt lonelier than he’d ever felt. He was with his friends, but he felt completely isolated. He didn’t know who to trust and what to think.  
It was like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  
Which eventually resulted into a whole debacle and a very worried Todd.

  
Dirk had fallen asleep on Todd’s couch. Dirk wasn’t one to fall asleep in places other than his bed, actually falling asleep just like that in his bed wasn’t very common for him either, but he had been very exhausted recently.

  
Todd had just gotten a call from a client with important information about their current case and went to wake up Dirk.

  
Which is when Dirk freaked out.

  
“Dirk?” Todd said and went to shake Dirk. “Come on, we have to go.”

  
In the middle of yet another dream about evil Todd, Dirk’s eyes shot open and he jumped up from the couch.

  
“Woah, Dirk, calm down, it’s okay. We just have to go now..” Todd tried to calm him down.

  
“No.” Dirk said in a shaky voice and stepped away from Todd.

  
“What?” Todd questioned.

  
“I’m not going. I’m not. Going.” Dirk responded firmly, but his hands were shaking.

  
“What? We just need to go-“

  
“No! I won’t go back! Not even if YOU ask!” Dirk yelled.

  
“Dirk! Calm down! Mrs. Danes called with more information about the Hello Kitty clock? We’re supposed to go check it out?” Todd explained and carefully tried to walk towards Dirk.

  
Dirk stared at Todd. His anxiety slightly decreasing. The case. They were on a case. They were in Todd’s apartment. Todd was talking about a case. Oh god.

  
“Case. Yes.” Dirk whispered.

  
Todd gave him a worried look. “Are you okay?” He asked.

  
“Fine.” Dirk replied, rather unconvincingly.

  
“What just happened?” Todd asked.

  
“Bad dream.” Dirk said. Todd waited for more information but none ever came.

  
“You sure that’s all?” Todd asked. Dirk simply nodded.

 

Todd sighed.

  
“What did you mean by ‘even if you asked’?” Todd asked. He didn’t feel the need to ask where Dirk was afraid of going back to.

  
“Nothing.” Dirk whispered.

  
“Bullshit.” Todd snapped.

  
Dirk looked down at his feet, unable to deny Todd’s accusation but refusing to explain.

  
Todd sighed again. “I don’t wanna push you, Dirk, but… You’ve been acting weird for a while and I’ve never seen you freak out like that?” He explained.

  
Dirk remained quiet.

  
“Have I done something?” Todd asked.

  
“No.” Dirk replied immediately. “Not yet.”

  
Todd raised his eyebrows questioningly. “What?”

  
“Nothing. Nothing.” Dirk was quick to reply.

  
“Dirk. Talk to me. Please.” Todd pleaded.

  
Dirk took in a deep, shaky breath.

  
“Please… Please don’t make me go back.” Dirk whispered.

  
Todd frowned. “Dirk… Why would I make you go back… There?” Todd asked, somewhat offended by Dirk’s implication.

  
“Ken did.” Dirk replied.

  
“What?” Todd asked.

  
“Ken was Bart’s best friend. He was all Bart would talk about. She trusted him. He was all she had. And then he went and took over Blackwing. He runs Blackwing now. He’s the main bad guy. He locked Bart in Blackwing. He was her friend and he did the worst possible thing he could have done to her.” Dirk explained.

  
Todd stood still and quiet for a while. He didn’t know what to say. His first reaction was anger. He felt it flare up all over his body. How could Dirk think he’d do something like that? Todd knew he wasn’t the best person but to force Dirk back to the place and the people that ruined his childhood? How could he even humor that idea?

  
Before he could explode in anger like he usually did, another thought occurred to Todd.

  
Blackwing had hurt Dirk. Hurt him bad. Physically and especially mentally. They made it so that Dirk had a hard time trusting anyone and viewed himself so terribly negatively. They messed him up.

  
And then Ken happened.

  
The best friend of another Blackwing victim had done the worst possible thing Dirk could think of. He had teamed up with Blackwing. The thought of Todd doing so was insane, but surely Bart didn’t expect Ken to do so either.

  
It made perfect sense for Dirk to doubt him, to doubt everything. After everything Blackwing had put him through… After Ken, not even his friends seemed safe to be around.  
It all broke Todd’s heart.

  
He walked closer to Dirk who flinched away right away.

  
“Dirk.” He said as softly as he could. Dirk finally looked up at him.

  
“I understand why you’re scared. What Ken did… No one saw that coming. How could we have? What he did was… Fucking terrible. I can’t imagine how Bart must feel? But Dirk… I would never and I mean EVER do that to you. I wouldn’t.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk sniffled. “But-“

  
“No.” Todd interrupted. “I get it. I get why you’d be worried. You’ve been through hell with Blackwing, you and Bart both, and Ken’s betrayal is… Really unbelievable. But I am not Ken.” He explained.

  
“I can’t even begin to understand the shit you’ve been through and what kind of trauma it must’ve caused but I understand enough to know that you didn’t deserve it. No one does! I would never put you through that. I may be an asshole but I’m not sadistic. Nothing they could possibly offer me would be enough to get me to do that to you. Nothing. Okay?” Todd said.

  
“I wouldn’t do that to anyone, let alone my best friend.” He continued. “I’m your friend, Dirk. And I know, Ken was Bart’s too, but they’re not us. We’re… We’re real, okay? I promise. I’d sooner have a pararibulitis attack for 24 hours straight than put you through Blackwing again. It hurts me to think what they did to you, I couldn’t live with myself if I was the cause of that. I promise, Dirk, you’re safe with me. I know you haven’t felt safe in a long time, but I promise, I will make sure you feel safe again. Eventually.” Todd finished.

  
Dirk stood completely still for a moment before bursting into tears.

 

Todd took the last remaining steps between them and Dirk basically collapsed into his arms.

  
“It’s okay.” Todd whispered and rubbed Dirk’s back. “You’ll be okay.”

  
Dirk sobbed out something that sounded like ‘how could he’ and ‘poor Bart’ before continuing to softly cry into Todd’s shirt, holding firmly onto Todd’s shoulders.

  
Todd held his friend and prayed that his pain would fade. If not with Todd’s reassurance, at least with time. Right now, he wanted nothing more than for Dirk to be okay. He knew Dirk had suffered, he knew he was broken, but nothing hurt more than knowing Dirk felt so alone and unsure even around Todd. He promised himself he’d do his best to show Dirk that he was there for him.

  
Todd’s thoughts turned to Bart. She had no one. She was in Blackwing. Put there by her friend. Todd’s blood boiled. Everyone in Blackwing was rotten to the core. And now Ken was one of them, despite knowing what they did to their ‘projects’?

  
Todd wanted to burn Blackwing to the ground.

  
But for now, his priority was Dirk. He would convince Dirk of where his loyalties lied and eventually, they’d take Blackwing down.

  
Together.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Would love to see something develop from Dirk’s reaction over the cowboy drawing in S1E5 - maybe some cute angst/fluff between the two??"

“A power? No, I’m just a man. A normal, detective man.” Dirk assured Todd quickly. He did not want to deal with Todd’s certain discomfort after finding out about his abilities nor did he want to relive some less than pleasant memories. He just wanted to be normal for once. Or at least be treated like he was.

  
“No, there’s some other thing. This holistic stuff is garbage. It’s-” Todd wasn’t letting the subject go. “It’s you. There’s something about you.” Todd insisted.

  
Dirk was getting anxious now. This is not where he wanted the conversation to go. “Look, I’m not psychic. Drop it.” He snapped and looked down at the table between them.

  
Todd gave him a look. “Who said you were psychic?” He challenged then.

  
“You did.” Dirk replied immediately. Then he thought back. Shit. “Didn’t you?”

  
Todd smiled. “Did I though?”

  
Dirk shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Go back to complaining. This isn’t-”

  
“No! No, we are having this conversation.” Todd interrupted and Dirk sighed heavily.

  
“Here.” Todd said and reached for a napkin, “Let’s do an experiment.”

  
Dirk felt a chill go through his body. Boy, had he heard those words before. Todd busied himself with scribbling something on the napkin under the table and Dirk tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Why did it always have to come down to this? Strange, troublesome, psychic Icarus.

  
Suddenly Todd threw the napkin on the table, the clean side up. “Tell me what I drew on the napkin.” He demanded.

  
“No.” Dirk replied immediately. He felt almost angry. Not so much at Todd, he didn’t know, but at the universe and himself. Why was this the only thing his life could be about? He just wanted to help people. He just wanted to solve this bloody case.

  
“Why not?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk sighed. “Look, I can’t explain it, okay? I learned a long time ago that things don’t always make sense the way people want them to.” Dirk explained frustratedly. “I accept that, and you’re going to have to, too. Too. To, too. To. Two?” So the thought got a bit away from him at the end. Still, he hoped his point came across.

  
“You wanna do everything!” Todd exclaimed. “Why don’t you wanna do this?” He asked.

  
Dirk threw his hands in the air in frustration. “Look! I don’t have time for, or interest in, talking about your stupid picture of a cowboy!” Dirk exclaimed and got up from his seat. He caught a glimpse of Todd’s expression and knew immediately that he was correct about what Todd had drawn on the napkin.

  
Dirk didn’t even think about it really. In the middle of his speech, he just happened to think of a badly drawn cowboy. Of course the universe let him have that piece of information, the information that would no doubt get Todd even more insistent on figuring Dirk out.

  
Dirk strode out of the diner and heard Todd yell after him but he didn’t stop. His head felt heavy and he wanted fresh air. Yet, he found himself in a small gift shop.

  
After a quick purchase and a car swap with a nice old man, he found himself sitting in his new car and looking at a map he couldn’t focus on, his thoughts circling back to the conversation in the diner. Nor could he read a map, for that matter.

  
After a few minutes, Todd walked out of the diner, tapping a napkin against his shirt, now covered in coffee. Todd needed a new shirt, because of course he did.

  
“Dirk.” Todd said.

  
“Hello, Todd. We should get moving, we have a lot of ground to cover, quite literally.” Dirk said as cheerily as possible.

  
“Yeah sure, listen, Dirk.” Todd said and Dirk turned to look at him again. Todd’s expression was softer than before. It made Dirk nervous.

  
“I didn’t mean to like, upset you, or anything, back there. I just.. This is all a bit… Well, frankly, it’s fucking bananas. I’m just trying to make sense of this. And it seems like you, well, like you’re… I don’t know. More in the know, I guess.” Todd explained awkwardly.

  
Dirk sighed. “I’m really not.”

  
Todd looked confused. “What do you mean? I mean you obviously are psy-”

  
“I’m not psychic!” Dirk exclaimed.

  
Todd raised his hands as a sign of retreat. “Alright, fine, not psychic. But you are… Something.” He said.

  
Dirk took a deep breath. “I am… Something. But I am not in the know.” He finally said.

  
“Okay…” Todd replied, an unasked question hanging in the air.

  
Dirk squeezed his eyes shut. He did not want to have this conversation right now. Or ever, actually.

  
“I… Have a… An ability. A power, if you really want to call it that. But, it does not help me. It’s not there to convenience me in any way. It just… Happens. I don’t know why it let me know you drew a cowboy on a napkin but it won’t let me know how to save Lydia bloody Spring, but that’s just how it works.” Dirk explained.

  
Todd nodded, obviously waiting for Dirk to continue. Dirk took another deep breath.

  
“I have been… Accused of being psychic before. Threatened and hurt because of it. I don’t like that title. It doesn’t… I don’t want it.” Dirk said. “And when you implied… You said ‘let’s do an experiment’ back there? That’s… That’s what I used to do. What I was forced to do, before. Prove people I had this… power. Prove that I was… But it doesn’t work like that. It never has. I can’t control it, it controls me. It just appears and works its way whenever it likes. I’m just its puppet. When people would find out about… Me, they’d either run screaming or take advantage of it. I’m not particularly fond of either reaction. The point is, I am different but not exactly how most think. I’m always too different or not different enough.” Dirk explained in a quiet voice.  
“I’m not psychic. I can’t just rub my temples and close my eyes and have all the answers. It’s not how it works. No matter how much people want it to. No matter how much they torture me to get me to work their way.” Dirk finished and looked down at the map in his lap.

  
They were quiet for a moment, Dirk in the car and Todd standing next to it. Dirk stole a glance at Todd, who seemed to be thinking. Dirk was nervous. He couldn’t tell how Todd felt about his little speech.

  
Soon enough, Todd spoke up again. “Okay. Guess we’ll have to go about this the most obvious way then?” He said. Dirk smiled gratefully.

  
“I’m afraid so.” He replied.

  
“That’s okay.” Todd said. “I mean, I already promised I’d help, so…”

  
“Thank you.” Dirk said. Todd smiled carefully in response.

  
Todd turned around to make his way to the other side of the car, but stopped to look at Dirk again.

  
“Dirk?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes, Todd?” Dirk replied.

  
“I didn’t… I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories or… You know.” Todd said awkwardly.

  
Dirk smiled. “I know.”

  
“Good. I mean I’ve… I’ve never met anyone like you, but… I’m not running away screaming. Or gonna force you to… No one should hurt you to get what they… What I mean is… It’s fine. Your… Thing, is not the most alarming thing I’ve learned in the past few days. It’s… It’s all fine, Dirk.” Todd said and Dirk felt like he could cry. Instead he just nodded and bit his lip, not sure how to identify the intense feeling he was experiencing.

  
Todd finally opened the passenger door and stepped into the car. He looked down at his shirt and groaned, having forgotten the stain during their conversation.

  
“Oh!” Dirk suddenly remembered and reached into the back of the car. “I got you a new shirt from the gift shop.” He said awkwardly, knowing that him anticipating the coffee incident just proved Todd’s point about his ‘power’ and they’d just let that subject go.

  
“Oh. Uhm thanks.” Todd said and took the shirt from Dirk and unfolded it. His eyes widened when he recognized the print.

  
Dirk swallowed nervously and finally started the car.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "You wrote a fic about Todd talking to Dirk after he died. Do you think you could do Dirk talking to a dead Todd?"

Dirk Gently was pacing the room, gesturing wildly while speculating on the lead he’d just gotten.

  
“This must be it, right? It has to be!” He exclaimed.

  
Todd groaned. “Dirk, it’s late. Or early, actually.” He murmured.

  
Dirk ignored his friend and continued pacing. For a while, all that could be heard was incoherent mumbling and the occasional recognizable word.

  
“Oh!” Dirk suddenly exclaimed. Todd’s eyebrows shot up in surprise that turned to confusion.

  
“I’ve got it! It has to be the turtle! They live for decades! It makes perfect sense!” Dirk practically yelled.

  
Todd blinked for a moment. “The turtle.”

  
“The turtle!” Dirk exclaimed.

  
“Oh my god. You’re right. Jesus, it actually makes sense. You did it. You actually did it.” Todd said with amazement in his voice.

  
Dirk did a quick bow. “Yes I did.” He said.

  
Todd smiled. “You’re amazing, you know?”

  
Dirk blushed. “I do, actually, thank you.” He replied.

  
“No, really.” Todd added.

  
Dirk felt like he might cry. He simply nodded and hoped Todd could see how much he appreciated the compliment.

  
“Now we must contact the man with the mustache and case closed!” Dirk exclaimed.

  
Todd stood up off the bed. “We should go see him in person, make sure the wife doesn’t take off.” He said.

  
“Excellent idea! You are a superb assistant!” Dirk squealed and clapped his hands together.

  
Todd laughed. “Thanks, Dirk.”

  
Dirk smiled. “I’m glad to have your help.” He said. He left out the part about how glad he was to have him as a friend.

  
“Glad to help. Most of the time.” Todd replied.

  
They stood silently for a moment. Dirk stared at his shoes. Todd gave Dirk a sad smile.

  
“So. What now?” Todd asked.

  
“Like I said-“ Dirk started to reply without looking up at Todd, but he was interrupted.

  
“Dirk. We both know we’re not going to the ice cream shoppe to see the mustache man.” Todd said.

  
Dirk didn’t reply.

  
“You can’t keep this up forever.” Todd continued.

  
Dirk swallowed. “I’m aware. I’m not a complete idiot, Todd.” He replied.

  
“Dirk-“

  
“I didn’t get enough time, Todd! I didn’t get enough time. It’s not fair.” Dirk exclaimed and finally looked at Todd.

  
“Life isn’t always fair.” Todd replied.

  
“It’s never fair!” Dirk shot back angrily.

  
Todd sighed and walked closer to his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder.

  
“Dirk… I know it sucks, but you have to accept reality. You’re strong. You can deal with it.” Todd said softly.

  
Dirk sighed. “I don’t want to.”

  
“I’m not here. And I won’t be.” Todd said.

  
“Stop.” Dirk warned.

  
“I’m dead. Taken out by Blackwing. I knew too much and disturbed their work. Shot in the head by Friedkin’s lackey, though my death certificate says suicide.” Todd continued.

  
“Todd, stop it!” Dirk screamed.

  
“You’re locked up in Blackwing, Dirk. And I’m gone. It is what it is! You’re never going to get out or get better if you don’t accept that!” Todd exclaimed.

  
“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Dirk screamed and covered his ears.

  
Silence fell in Project Icarus’ cell. Dirk had squeezed his eyes shut, tears rolling onto his cheeks, his heavy breathing the only sound in the room.

  
“Dirk. You gotta face the reality. You gotta get the hell out of here. You know you do.” Todd said softly.

  
Dirk shook his head. “Why bother. They’ll find me again. And what do I have on the outside, huh? My only friend is dead. Because of me. Why bother…” He replied in a whispered voice.

  
Todd nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I get all that. But Blackwing isn’t hell just for you. It needs to be shut down. You know that. So you couldn’t help me. Help the others. Get the hell out and save the others. I would’ve wanted that. For them and for you.” Todd said.

  
Dirk felt another tear roll down his cheek. He knew he wouldn’t survive in Blackwing. Either the experiments would kill him or his mind would. He’d always wanted for all the subjects to be free of the hell hole for good. But it all seemed hopeless now. He felt hopeless.

  
Dirk ran his hand across his face to dry his tears.

  
“I don’t know how.” He whispered.

  
“You’ll find a way. You did it once.” Todd shrugged.

  
“I got used to having you around. I don’t know how… I don’t…” Dirk mumbled.

  
“I know. But you’ll be okay. You always are. You have to be.” Todd replied.

  
“I have to be.” Dirk echoed.

  
The alarm set to wake him up went off and the same recording giving out commands that played every morning came on.

  
Todd was gone.

  
And with him, a part of Dirk was, and would continue to be, as well.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Dirk trying highkey hard to hide an injury?? And when someone finds out he's just: "' was simply LIGHTLY stabbed.'"

All Todd could do was resume making dinner as Dirk ran out of the door, yelling something like ‘I should’ve thought of the porridge.’

  
Todd had initially ran after him but Dirk had disappeared from view before he could reach the main door of the building. Todd had also tried to call Dirk to ask what the hell was going on, but the detective didn’t answer. Todd left him a frustrated voicemail, telling him to call him back and explain himself. Which, of course, Dirk didn’t do.

  
Todd bit his tongue and finished making dinner. Just as he was packing the leftovers into the fridge, Dirk walked into the apartment again.

  
“Hello, Todd.” Dirk said as he carefully made his way towards the kitchen.

  
“Seriously?” Todd asked. “That’s it?”

  
Dirk blinked. “Pardon?”

  
“You just ran off, Dirk! What the hell happened?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk looked ashamed. “I’m sorry, Todd, it was an urgent matter.” He said.

  
Todd sighed. “I get it, but how many times do I have to tell you? Keep me in the loop, Dirk! You never know what could happen.” He said.

  
Dirk sighed. “Of course. I apologize, Todd.”

  
“Apology accepted. Now, tell me what the hell happened?” Todd asked and Dirk immediately leapt into an elaborate explanation of the last hour or so.

  
Dirk assured Todd that everything had gone according to plan, and he had indeed solved the case. Todd had no reason to doubt him.

  
Until the next day.

  
-

  
They were having breakfast before they were meant to leave for the agency. Todd was reading the morning paper and sipping his black coffee. Dirk got off the table and went to get the sugar from the cabinet, muttering something about how Todd never put enough of it in the coffee when he made Dirk a cup. Todd paid no attention to Dirk, until Dirk went to reach for the sugar and suddenly let out high-pitched squeak and lowered his arm again. Todd turned to stare at his friend.

  
“Dirk?” He questioned.

  
“Yes?” Dirk said and reached his left hand into the cabinet, his face still slightly wrinkled in a pained expression.

  
“You okay?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes, of course.” Dirk replied and walked back to the table with the sugar.

  
“Really? Cause it seemed like-“ Todd started but was caught off by Dirk.

  
“Take your coffee to go, Todd, we have to go!” Dirk exclaimed and stood up and headed off to get his shoes and jacket.

 

Todd sighed. In addition to their new case, Todd was now also on the case of ‘what is wrong with Dirk Gently this time?’

  
-

  
Later on in the day, Todd noticed Dirk’s weird behavior again. This time, he was taking off his coat at the office and suddenly stopped and groaned. As he noticed Todd looking at him, he put on a smile and said he needed some fresh air. When he returned to the office, his jacket was off. Todd furrowed his brows. He was definitely hiding something, most likely an injury.

  
When Todd got a moment alone with Farah, he decided to question her.

  
“Farah?” Todd asked.

  
“Yeah?” Farah replied and looked up from the paperwork she was currently going through.

  
“Have you noticed anything… Weird about Dirk?” Todd asked.

  
Farah blinked a few times. “Could you be more specific?” She asked with a serious expression.

  
Todd let out a chuckle. “Yeah, fair enough. I don’t know, I’ve noticed him acting like… Like he’s in pain, while doing totally normal things.” Todd explained.

  
Farah thought for a moment. “Well, he did seem like it hurt when he tried to high-five me and I did ask him about it but he said he was fine?” She said.

  
Todd nodded thoughtfully. “When was this?” He asked.

  
“Earlier this morning.” Farah replied.

  
“Something’s wrong with him. Maybe it’s about that case he solved yesterday.” Todd mused.

  
“How so?” Farah asked.

  
“He ran off for like an hour and confronted the bad guy alone. He swears it went fine but now I don’t think he was being totally honest.” Todd explained.

  
Farah nodded. “You should talk to him.” She said.

  
“Yeah, maybe. He’s just about as bad with the sharing thing as I am.” Todd sighed.

  
Farah smiled. “Yeah, you two are the most emotionally constipated people I know.” She said.

  
Todd rolled his eyes. “Yeah? You not counting yourself in that or?” He teased.

  
Farah gave him a death-glare. “Shut up, Todd.” She ordered.

  
-

  
They got home later than usual. They were exhausted. Todd felt like he could fall asleep standing up if he stopped walking for a minute.

  
When they reached the apartment, Dirk went to the couch without taking off his jacket or shoes. Dirk slumped down on the couch, basically letting his body fall down in exhaustion. Once he hit the couch though, he cried out loudly and immediately went to move into a better position.

  
Todd sighed. “Okay, Dirk, what’s going on?” He asked.

  
Dirk looked at him with his eyes half closed. “What do you mean?” He asked.

  
“You’ve been acting weird. Like you’re hurt. What happened?” Todd asked and stood before Dirk to look down at him.

  
“Nothing, Todd, it’s fine.” Dirk tried to convince Todd, with no luck.

  
“What’s fine, Dirk? Something happened last night, didn’t it?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk sighed. “I’ve had worse, really.” He said.

  
“What. Happened. Dirk.” Todd repeated, putting emphasis on each word.

  
Dirk rolled his eyes. “I was simply lightly stabbed.” He finally said.

  
Todd’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked.

  
“Well, the bad guy had a knife which I was not aware of until-“

  
“I’m sorry, did you say you were stabbed!?” Todd raised his voice.

  
It was Dirk’s turn to look surprised. “I- Well- lightly, yes, I-“

  
“You are unbelievable, Dirk!” Todd was yelling now. “Where? Where were you stabbed? Did anyone treat it? You didn’t even go to the hospital, did you? Jesus fucking Christ Dirk, you are an adult man, you should know better!” Todd ranted and sat down next to Dirk.

  
“Show me.” Todd said.

  
“What?” Dirk asked carefully.

  
“Show me the damn wound, Dirk. Now.” Todd demanded.

  
Dirk sighed and went to lift his shirt. On his right side, along his ribcage was an angry looking red slash. Todd closed his eyes to try to calm himself.

  
“You didn’t even bandage it?” He asked through his teeth.

  
“It’s a flesh wound, Todd.” Dirk replied.

  
Todd massaged the bridge of his nose and then stood up and marched into the bathroom. Dirk was left staring after him in confusion. Soon, Todd marched back into the living room with a first-aid-kit. Dirk sighed as he accepted his fate.

  
Todd sat back down next to Dirk and swatted his hand away from the cut. They spent the next few minutes in silence as Todd dressed Dirk’s wound. Once he was done, he gave Dirk a stern look, which Dirk did everything he could to avoid.

  
“Dirk.” Todd said.

  
“I’m fine, Todd. Thank you for the help.” Dirk said.

  
“Next time you get hurt, you tell me.” Todd said, clearly as an order, not a question.

  
“I didn’t think it was a big deal-“

  
“Well, it is!” Todd interrupted. “I don’t care if you hit your toe on the corner of the couch, you tell me. I’m sick and tired of you acting like you have to suffer in silence.” He said.  
Dirk looked at Todd quietly for a moment.

  
“So… You’re really angry because you… Care?” Dirk questioned.

  
Todd sighed. “You should know by now that I get angry every time I feel anything.” Todd mumbled.

  
Dirk smirked. “That doesn’t sound very healthy, Todd.” He said.

  
Todd raised his eyebrow. “Yeah? You know what else isn’t healthy? Thinking you need to hide a stab wound from your friends.” He said.

  
Dirk blushed. “Touché.” He said.

  
“Promise me you won’t hide stuff like this from me again?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk swallowed and then nodded carefully. “Alright. I promise.” He said quietly.

  
“Good. You’re my best friend. I want to know if you’re hurting.” Todd added.

  
Dirk smiled and his blush deepened. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  
Todd nodded. “Good.” He replied. Then he thought for a moment.

  
“And Dirk?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes, Todd?” Dirk said.

  
“There is no such thing as light stabbing.” Todd replied.

  
Dirk laughed. “Well, I have been properly stabbed and I do believe-“

  
“Dirk.” Todd interrupted him. “From now on, the only injuries you’re allowed to call ‘light’ are stubbed toes and paper cuts.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “In 1x08, Amanda tells Todd: ‘Dirk says you hate him now’, how did that conversation go?”

While The Rowdy 3 were busy high-fiving each other over and over, Amanda took a moment to look around. She was still buzzing with the adrenaline of the whole debacle. They just totally kicked ass! Amanda hadn’t felt this powerful and free in ages. She loved the feeling. 

When two gurneys being carried out of the house caught her eye, her feeling of relief was replaced by worry. Someone had gotten hurt. Well, lots of people had gotten hurt, but these people were carried out of the house, followed by that detective, who was currently motioning with his arms while explaining something to the paramedics. 

Amanda’s heart skipped a beat. Her thoughts immediately went to Todd. 

Amanda hurried towards the ambulance where the paramedics were already loading the gurneys on. 

“Hey! Excuse me!” Amanda yelled. 

As she reached the ambulance, the detective stepped aside to make a call. “We have to go, get these guys to the hospital.” The paramedic replied. “Are you hurt?” He asked. 

“No, I’m a-okay.” Amanda replied absently as she looked over the gurneys. Surely enough, the two gurneys were occupied by her brother and Dirk Gently. 

“Are- are they okay?” She asked, her voice coming out weaker than she would’ve liked. 

The paramedic looked at her questioningly. “You know them?” He asked. 

Amanda swallowed and pointed at Todd. “He’s my brother.” 

The paramedic nodded sympathetically. “He got electrocuted pretty bad, but from the looks of it he’s going to be fine. He’s just out of it for the moment. Should be up and at it in no time.” He said. 

Amanda let out a breath of relief. She found herself once again getting angry at Todd now that she knew he was going to be okay. 

”And him?” She asked and pointed at Dirk. 

“He got shot with a harpoon.” The paramedic replied. 

“Twice.” Came a pained voice from the gurney. 

“Dirk?” Amanda asked and stepped into the back of the ambulance to get closer to the gurney. Once she came into his view, Dirk tried his best to give Amanda a reassuring smile. 

“Hello, Amanda.” 

“Oh my God, Dirk.” Amanda said as she saw his bloody shirt. “What the hell happened?” 

“Harpoon. Two arrows. In one shoulder! Lots of blood outside of body.” Dirk mumbled. 

Amanda cringed. “Jesus.” She breathed. 

“No. No help from him whatsoever.” Dirk groaned. 

“Well, that’s a pretty punk story you get to tell your friends later on, huh?” She tried to make the situation a tad lighter. Then her eyes widened and she turned to the paramedic. “He is gonna be fine, right?” 

“He’s lost a lot of blood, which is never good, but he’s made it this far, so he should pull through.” The paramedic replied. 

“No.” Dirk said. 

“What?” Amanda turned back to Dirk. “Dirk, I’m sure you’re gonna be fine.” She assured. 

“No. No friends.” Dirk replied. 

“What?” Amanda repeated. 

“Can’t tell punk story. No friends. No friends for Dirk.” Dirk mumbled. 

“What do you mean? Todd’s your friend, right?” Amanda said. 

“No. Todd hates Dirk. Dirk messed up. Dirk talks about himself in third person.” Dirk said and frowned at the end of his sentence. 

“Why? What happened?” Amanda asked, her eyebrows raising in question. 

“Dirk met Todd and Dirk. Lied. Not really. Todd says so. Todd hates Dirk. Hate hate hate.” Dirk mumbled. 

Amanda’s expression turned to sadness. She didn’t know exactly what had happened, but it looked like Todd turned his back on Dirk, which is what it felt like he’d done to her as well. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Dirk.” She said and placed her hand on Dirk’s arm, which made Dirk groan out in pain. “Shit, sorry, man.” She said. 

“No bad. Fine good.” Dirk replied. 

Amanda smiled. “Right.” 

“We really gotta get him to the hospital.” The paramedic interrupted the moment. 

Amanda nodded. “Right. Yeah. You do that.” She said and then turned to Dirk again. “Feel better Dirk. And hey… If Todd’s really stupid enough to dump you, I’ll still be your friend. Okay?” She said. 

Dirk smiled. “‘Manda’s nice. Nice, scary girl.” He replied. “All blood out.” He added and sighed. 

Amanda stifled a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Hang in there Dirk.” She said and stepped out of the ambulance. 

“Bye bye Brotzmans.” Dirk mumbled after her. 

Amanda couldn’t help but feel like the plural of her last name wasn’t because of the blood-loss. 

“See you around, Gently.” She replied, hoping that the confused detective got her meaning, that this wasn’t the last time she planned on seeing him. 

While she turned away, she could hear Todd coming to in the ambulance. She sighed. He would no doubt resist going to the hospital, meaning she would have to deal with him. 

As she walked back to the Rowdies, she made a mental note to have a talk with her brother, just so that she could give him a piece of her mind when it came to Dirk Gently. Her brother might be an asshole, but Dirk Gently seemed fond of him and Amanda liked Dirk. Dirk deserved better. So she was damn well going to make sure her brother didn’t crush Dirk’s heart like he’d done hers. 

Well, to do that, and to make a dramatic exit.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "What if Dirk lowkey thought it was normal to have super depressing thoughts and nightmares because that's how much he's been fucked up his whole life? His friends are very upset about this."

Dirk could barely remember a time where he was content. Maybe such time had never existed. As a child, he was always too strange for others. His… ability scared any potential friends away. Adults cringed and walked away. His own parents were scared of him. Then, of course, there was Blackwing. He wasn’t treated like a human there.

  
It was safe to say that Dirk’s life had been more upsetting and traumatic than most’s. Dirk himself had made his peace with it. Of course, he would have preferred a slightly, well, totally, different past but what was he to do about it now? What happened, happened. He was fine now.

  
Most of the time he was fine. But every now and then, the memories, the pain and sadness sneaked up on him. That didn’t stop him from doing his job though. He refused to stop helping others when he himself felt bad. And it’s not like the pain was going anywhere. Better to work through it than let it consume you.

  
While the feelings of dread and panic were rather familiar to Dirk by now, Dirk had not realized that others might not be as familiar with them.

 

The first time Dirk noticed that his comfortableness with such negative feelings made others uncomfortable, was during a case.

  
Dirk, Todd and Farah had been at the agency overnight, trying to figure out their next step. They hadn’t gotten anywhere.

  
“So, nothing? No hunches?” Todd asked Dirk.

  
“No. Nothing. The universe isn’t feeling like helping.” Dirk sighed.

  
“And you can’t like… Trigger hunches?” Farah asked.

  
Dirk gave her a bitter laugh. “No. Trust me. It doesn’t work like that. Most of the time I’m pretty useless.” He said.

  
Farah’s eyes widened. “No, Dirk, I didn’t mean… You’re not useless for not being… holistically linked right now.“

  
Dirk waved his hand in a dismissive manner. “Oh no, it’s quite alright.” He replied. “Being… What I am is pretty much the only identity I’ve ever had and I’m not even great at that. Maybe Blackwing should’ve just taken me out.”

  
Silence fell in the room. Farah looked very regretful. Todd looked angry. Dirk looked confused.

  
“What did you just say?” Todd asked, his voice strained with what was most likely held-back anger.

  
Dirk laughed nervously. “Oh you know, I’m not psychic! Which is what they wanted, so…” he mumbled.

  
Todd was about to open his mouth again, but suddenly a man stepped through the door of the agency.

  
“Excuse me? I’m looking for Dirk Gently?” The man said.

  
Dirk clapped his hands together. “Finally! Something is happening!”

  
And the subject was dropped.

 

-

 

The second time was a Tuesday morning.

  
Todd walked into the kitchen of their now shared apartment to find Dirk feeding popcorn to the kitten shark.

  
Todd frowned. “I don’t think you should feed her popcorn.” He said and yawned.

  
Dirk shrugged. “She likes it.”

  
Todd went to make himself a cup of coffee, only to find there was none. He turned to Dirk.

  
“Dirk. How are we out of coffee? I just bought some?” He asked.

  
Dirk turned to look at Todd with an apologetic expression on his face. “Oh, I apologize, Todd. I have been up since 3:30 and needed a… few cups coffee.” He said. “You can have the rest of my 6th cup?”

  
Todd glanced at the clock on the microwave. It read 9:47.

  
“You’ve been up for 6 hours already? Jesus. Why?” Todd asked, forgetting the coffee situation.

  
Dirk shrugged. “Nightmares. I thought I’d rather get up at 3:30 than to have another one of those.” He replied.

  
Todd frowned. “Nightmares? Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked Dirk.

  
“Oh, it’s fine. You know, Blackwing. Shocks, starvation, you know the deal. Nothing new.” Dirk replied.

  
Todd gasped slightly. “Dirk… It’s not nothing. It’s traumatic. Don’t write it off just like-“

  
“Oh Todd, really, it’s nothing. I have those nightmares about every other night. They hardly surprise me anymore.” Dirk sighed.

  
“But-“

  
“Oh no, does it look like the kitten isn’t feeling well?” Dirk interrupted Todd.

  
Todd turned to look at the cat. “I told you not to feed her popcorn!”

 

-

 

After several conversations like that, Dirk finally managed to shock his friends into talking to him.

  
They had just wrapped a case. They saved the lives of an old couple and their parrot. However, the final showdown had caused the life of a young man. It had upset everyone involved, but Dirk took it the hardest.

  
“Dirk, we did everything we could.” Todd tried to comfort his friend.

  
Dirk sighed. “Yes, well, if we hadn’t gotten involved, Alejandro wouldn’t have either and he would still be alive.” He said.

  
“There was no way to know this was going to happen.” Farah said.

  
“Yes, of course there was.” Dirk said. “This is what happens to people associated with me.”

  
Todd blinked a few times. “What?”

  
“This is what always happens.” Dirk whispered. “I should’ve just stayed in Blackwing.”

  
Farah gasped. Todd stood up quickly.

  
“What?” Todd asked.

  
“I can’t hurt anyone if I’m in Blackwing. They were right. It’s best for everyone.” Dirk explained.

  
“Dirk…” Farah said sympathetically.

  
“No.” Todd said. “That’s so… Wrong?”

  
“Why? It’s true.” Dirk shrugged.

  
“No, it’s not! Dirk… You don’t seriously think these things? And think that they’re… In any way okay?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk frowned. “What do you mean?”

  
Todd shared a quick, worried look with Farah. Farah gave him a nod. Todd sighed.

  
“You keep saying things that are… Really dark, Dirk. And you act like it’s normal. It- it’s worrying.” Todd finally said.

  
Dirk stared at his friends. “It is?” He asked.

  
Farah and Todd both nodded.

  
Dirk thought for a moment. “Well, I just… The way I…” He tried to gather his thoughts.

  
Todd stepped closer to Dirk and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I know you’ve been through a lot, Dirk, and it’s more than understandable that it would have lasting effects on you. I just… It doesn’t have to be so bad, you know?” Todd explained.

  
Dirk frowned. “What do you mean?” He asked.

  
Farah stepped closer to the men. “Well, lots of people with trauma do therapy.” She said.

  
Dirk’s eyes widened. Then he burst into laughter. “I was a test subject for a secret government operation!” He exclaimed.

  
Farah gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t be open to that.”

  
“But we know.” Todd added. “We know what you are and what’s been done to you. You could talk to us. And you know, there’s… Medication?” He said.

  
Dirk cringed.

 

Todd laughed. “Yeah, I didn’t think so. The point is… Dirk, the way you think sometimes isn’t healthy. And I’m worried what it will do to you if you don’t realize that.” He said.

  
Dirk took a deep breath. “I- I’ve never thought about it.” He whispered.

  
“I know.” Todd said.

  
“What Todd is saying,” Farah said, “is that even though it’s understandable you’re in pain, you need to acknowledge that it’s not… It’s not normal for most people. That… In order for you to feel better, to be healthier… You need to learn to separate the unhealthy thoughts from the healthy ones. And realize that those thoughts come from what you’ve had to endure but it’s not… It’s not all you are. Or all you can be, anyway.” She said.

  
Dirk’s eyes burned with unshed tears. None of this had ever occurred to him? He had always considered his strange, unlovable ability and his past trauma to be the most defining factors in his life. He’d never thought about how those things and what they’d caused affected him and who he is besides and in spite of those things.

  
“I… I never thought about it like that.” He whispered.

  
“We’re your friends, Dirk. We want you to be okay. I know that stuff will always stay with you, but you can still be happy one day. You deserve to be. And we want to help you.” Todd said, his hand never leaving Todd’s shoulder.

  
“I… Thank you. Both of you.” Dirk said. “I just… I don’t know. I’ve never…” He mumbled.

  
Farah cleared her throat. “I, uh… There’s these, uh, meditation type exercises my therapist taught me and uh I could teach you some?” She explained.

  
Dirk smiled slightly. “Thank you, Farah.”

  
She nodded. “No problem.”

  
“And I want you to talk to me. About anything. Whenever these kind of thoughts enter your mind… Just talk to me? Okay? Even if it’s 3:30 in the morning and you can’t sleep because of nightmares. Wake me up and we’ll talk. Okay?” Todd said.

  
Dirk smiled and sniffed. “Okay.”

  
Dirk never thought to be concerned about his ways of seeing himself and his life but now he felt a glimmer of hope. This might not have to be the way to be. Dirk couldn’t imagine ever getting rid of the nightmares or the self-loathing, but perhaps there could be days where those could give way to other things. Happier things.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “This season we’ve seen that Dirk hasn’t been sleeping well, and he’s really stressed, so maybe after everything’s over and done with he either passes out or gets sick?”

The throbbing in Dirk’s thigh was getting to be the only thing he could focus on. He could barely make out Todd’s suggestion to get in the amboolents to go back home. He didn’t even fight Todd when he insisted on driving since the wound on Dirk’s leg was still new.

  
Dirk’s brain felt foggy. He had been doing nothing but trying to figure out the case and dodge any feelings of panic and dread that were constantly trying to take over his whole being.

  
Todd hovered over Dirk as he slowly made his way up the stairs to Todd’s apartment. Todd had insisted on Dirk staying with him so that he could keep an eye on Dirk as he recovered.

  
Once they had made their way into the apartment, Todd went to set up a comfortable spot on the couch for Dirk.

  
“You want some tea? I can boil you some water.” Todd said as he propped up pillows against the arm of the couch.

  
“I- uh… Yes, tea sounds-” Dirk tried to reply but was cut off when suddenly his ears started buzzing and he felt his whole body quickly go cold.

  
“Dirk?” Todd’s voice felt distant, like he was speaking under water.

  
And then Dirk collapsed.

  
“Dirk!” Todd exclaimed and ran towards his now unconscious friend.

  
Panicked, Todd went to pick up Dirk’s head and laid it on his lap.

  
“Dirk?” He asked, getting no response.

  
Trying his best to control the panic he felt, Todd lifted Dirk’s hands on his shoulders to maneuver the unconscious detective closer to the couch.

  
Carefully he lifted Dirk’s long legs to rest against the back of the couch. He vaguely remembered that it was what you were supposed to do when someone passed out. Legs above the heart, right? Something about blood circulation to the brain?

  
Todd reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow to put under Dirk’s head. That was all he could remember to do. What else were you supposed to do when someone passed out? Should he call 911? He should call 911.

  
Todd’s panicked thoughts were interrupted when Dirk shifted on the floor.

  
“Dirk?” Todd asked, hoping the detective was coming back to.

  
Dirk’s brows furrowed and though he didn’t reply, Todd felt better. At least Dirk was… What? Alive?

  
After a painfully long moment of Todd’s finger hovering over the emergency button on his phone, Dirk’s eyes opened.

  
“Dirk!” Todd exclaimed in relief.

  
Dirk frowned. “Why am I on the floor, Todd?” He asked.

  
Todd let out a desperate breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “You passed out! Just went down out of nowhere! Jesus you scared me half to death! Are you okay?” Todd said.

  
Dirk thought for a moment. “Yes?” He replied uncertainly.

 

“Dirk, you just passed out. You’re not okay!” Todd exclaimed.

  
Dirk sighed. “Then why did you ask…” He mumbled and propped himself on his forearms, only to be gently pushed down again by Todd.

  
“Don’t get up. You should keep your legs up for now.” Todd instructed. “Let me see your thigh.” He added. “I need to see if the stitches ripped and you’re bleeding or something.”

  
After a quick examination, Todd was certain the wound was in as good a condition as it could be.

  
Todd sighed. “Are you sick?” He asked.

  
Dirk shrugged. “The bullet wound hasn’t given me a lot of time to look for flu symptoms but no, I don’t think so.”

  
Todd rolled his eyes. “Well, have you eaten today?” He asked.

  
“Yes, we had lunch together, remember?” Dirk asked in return.

  
“Right.” Todd confirmed. “Did you sleep well last night?” He asked.

  
Dirk froze. Sleep. Right.

  
“Dirk?” Todd questioned.

  
“I… May or may not have slept last night.” He replied.

  
“Excuse me?” Todd asked. “Are you saying you didn’t sleep at all?”

  
Dirk sighed. “I may have dozed off for a few minutes.” He said.

 

“Dirk…” Todd sighed. Then he turned his head fully towards Dirk in realization. “You haven’t been sleeping at all, have you?” He asked.

  
“Pardon?” Dirk asked.

  
“Don’t play dumb. This case. You haven’t slept since Blackwing, have you?” Todd said.

  
“Of course I have. It’s impossible for a human to go more than-“

  
“Yeah, yeah, I know the statistics. You haven’t slept apart from the shutting down your body’s literally forced you to do since Blackwing, have you?” Todd insisted.

  
Dirk looked away from Todd and up at the ceiling. “I suppose not.” He finally replied.

  
Todd closed his eyes. Of course. Of course Dirk hadn’t slept. He should’ve known. Dirk was always still up when Todd went to sleep and always awake by the time Todd woke up again. It was no coincidence. Dirk wasn’t sleeping.

  
“Okay.” Todd finally said, his voice sure. “I’m gonna help you to the bed and then I’m making you camomile tea and bringing you your painkiller. You’re gonna drink the tea in bed and then go to sleep. You’re gonna sleep at least 8 hours, at the very least, Dirk, I mean it, and tomorrow we’re talking about everything that’s been keeping you up. If you wake up before the 8 hours is up, I’m making you more tea and giving you one of Amanda’s sleeping pills. Okay?” Todd explained.

  
Dirk took a moment to digest everything Todd had just said. The thought of going to sleep made his chest tighten, but he knew there was no way around it anymore.

  
“Okay.” He finally replied.

  
“Good. Let’s go.” Todd said and helped Dirk up and into Todd’s bed.

  
“I’ll be right back with the pill and the tea.” Todd said. Dirk nodded slightly.

  
A few minutes later, Dirk had taken his pill and drank his tea, all the while Todd stared at him intently. Todd picked up the cup and got up to walk out.

  
“Todd.” Dirk’s shaky voice stopped him.

  
“Yeah?” Todd asked.

  
“Could you… Could you stay? So that… So that if I wake up in the middle of the night I’ll know… I’ll know that I’m not in…” Dirk mumbled.

  
“Dirk.” Todd cut him off. “I’ll stay.” He said.

  
Dirk nodded gratefully.

  
Todd placed the tea cup on the bedside table and climbed on the bed next to Dirk. Dirk settled down and reluctantly closed his eyes. His whole body was stiff, though he could feel the exhaustion deep in his bones. His mind was still fighting back.

  
“Everything’s okay.” Todd’s quiet voice reached his ears. “Everything’s okay now, Dirk. You can sleep. It’s gonna be okay.”

  
Dirk sighed and his whole body relaxed. The last thing Dirk was aware of was Todd’s calm voice, before his mind finally shut off.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Amanda keeps her witchakookoo powers when she gets back to the real world.”
> 
> A/N: this includes some rude remarks (ableist/racist) from a character but they’re only there to show how some people suck but the rowdies do not. I also kept them vague, no slurs or anything, because I didn’t even want to write anything too terrible.

The Rowdy 3 van’s doors flew open and everyone filed out. The boys yelled out random exclamations of their feelings or observations of the gas station. The Beast smiled brightly and hopped behind them into the gas station and straight to the candy isle. She was really into candy.

Amanda walked behind everyone else, softly laughing at the display of her family causing everyone to turn their heads towards them as they walked in. A mother steered her little girl away from Vogel who was enthusiastically waving at her. A teenage boy seemed to be filming them on his phone. The cashier looked tired.

The Rowdies had no intention of causing trouble - they were simply there for gas and snacks for Amanda and Beast. Still, they could rarely go into a public place without causing at least a little commotion.

“Jesus fucking Christ, these people shouldn’t be allowed in public.” A voice caught Amanda’s attention. 

A young man, in his twenties, rolled his eyes and mumbled something more under his breath. Amanda furrowed her brows. Sure, the Rowdies acted… Quite different than most people in public, but they weren’t hurting anyone? Vogel was trying on different hair accessories. The Beast was piling a mountain of candy on the counter. Martin patiently waited for Beast to finish so he could pay. Cross and Riggs had found water pistols and were pretending to shoot each other with them. Why was this man so annoyed?

Amanda moved closer to the man to examine him. He was tall and lanky. He had a mustache Amanda could only describe as ridiculous. And he was wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ cap. 

“What the hell is wrong with that woman? Shouldn’t she be in an institution somewhere instead of holding up the line for everyone here.” The man sighed at the old lady after him in line, who didn’t seem to have much problem with the Rowdies’ presence.

“What you say?” Gripps said, having heard the man’s comment. 

The man turned towards Gripps and Cross. “I’m just saying, she obviously can’t function like a normal person. It’s pretty inconvenient for the rest of society, isn’t it?” He said.

Gripps and Cross simultaneously pressed their hands into fists in anger. “Your face is inconvenient for me.” Gripps remarked.  
“Gripps.” Martin warned from the counter.

“What did you just say to me?” The young man asked in a threatening voice.

“I said: your dumb face is inconvenient for me.” Gripps repeated himself, followed by a supportive ‘yeah!’ from Cross.

“Whatever. Why don’t you go back to Africa or something.” The man replied and looked Gripps up and down.

At that, Martin wasn’t feeling patient either. “I would be careful with ya tongue if I were you. Or it might get cut off.” Martin threatened.

“Are you threatening me?” The man raised his voice. “You can’t threaten me!”

“Watch me.” Martin replied.

“I’m gonna call the cops on you!” The man whined.

“We ain’t afraid of no cops.” Cross laughed.  
“We eat cops for breakfast!” Vogel screamed from across the shop.

“You all shouldn’t be allowed in public. Fucking terrorists.” The man mumbled and started typing on his phone. Martin looked like he was about to explode. Amanda decided that enough was enough.

The man was now standing next to the freezers, leaning on one of them and lifting the phone to his ear. Amanda smiled as an idea came to her. She walked next to the man and put her hand on the freezer doors. She closed her eyes and focused as hard as she could. She had been practicing controlling the powers she had acquired in Wendimoor everyday. Slowly she had managed to create bigger and bigger reactions.

The man’s frantic voice was telling the police about a group of foreigners terrorizing him at a gas station. Then, a surge of electricity from the freezer zapped the man. He screamed in shock and dropped his phone. As soon as the shock let up, he leaped away from the freezer in panic.

Martin grinned at Amanda and Gripps gave her a thumbs up. Amanda winked.

“Look! The dumbface pissed his pants!” Vogel screamed, followed by wild laughter.

“What did you do!” The man screamed. “That woman tried to kill me!”

Amanda laughed and ushered the rest of the Rowdies out of the gas station and back into the van. The boys were laughing loudly the whole time and screaming insults at the man who looked like he was about to cry. Beast seemed to not have paid attention to the interaction in the gas station.

“You’re like superhero now!” Vogel screamed at Amanda.

“I am not a superhero.” Amanda replied.

“Drummer’s a vigilante.” Martin commented as he drove the van out of the parking lot.

Amanda grinned. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fucking Batman. Except less whiny.” She said.

“Hell yeah!” Gripps exclaimed.

Amanda’s phone rang and she picked it up while still grinning.

“Hey Bro! Guess what? I just zapped a racist with my magic.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Let’s reach for the ultimate cliche. Todd takes a bullet for Dirk. Not fatal, but dangerous enough that for a while Dirk is fairly certain he’ll die, and it’s his ‘fault’."

Dirk could barely register the series of events taking place.

The horrid man refused to cooperate. He refused to listen. All Dirk and Todd wanted was his help, but he was too far gone.

The man raised a gun and pointed it at Dirk.  
“You are why this shit went down in the first place.” He said.

“No… I, well, yes, but listen-“ Dirk stuttered.

“Shut up!” The man screamed. “Just shut up!”

“Dirk… What do we do?” Todd whispered.

“I… am at a loss.” Dirk whispered back. “I can’t reason with him.”

“Shit… Goddamn it.” Todd whispered.

The man took a step closer to Dirk and Todd. Dirk stiffened and Todd breathed out in fear. They had dealt with many dangerous situations but most of them included crazy supernatural circumstances and evil bad guys. However, an unstable, scared man with a weapon was less common.

“You can’t be here.” The man said, staring at Dirk. “You have to go.”

“Alright, we will leave you alone, just-“

“No. You have to go.” The man said and before Dirk could say or do anything, he heard a gun go off.

Dirk felt like he was seeing everything in slow-motion.

The man looked desperate. Tears streamed from his eyes and down his face as his shaky hand pointed the gun. He jerked back a little from the power of the bullet flying towards Dirk.

  
As the bullet began its travel towards its target, Todd took action. He shoved Dirk as hard as he could from his close proximity, but it was enough to throw Dirk off balance. Dirk dropped onto the ground in shock.

Todd now stood where Dirk previously had, just in time for the bullet to reach its new target.

Suddenly everything was happening in high-speed.

Todd whined in agony. Dirk cried out and crawled where Todd was suddenly laying on the ground.  
“Todd!” He cried.

Dirk looked for the man with the gun, only to see him shakily running away from them, seemingly upset about having actually shot a person.

“Fuck that hurts. Getting shot really fucking hurts.” Todd coughed.

“Why would you do this, Todd!” Dirk sobbed desperately and removed his scarf to press it against the bullet wound on Todd’s abdomen.

“Love you too.” Todd groaned in response.

Dirk let out a sob. “Why…”

“It would’ve-“ Todd’s sentence was interrupted by violent coughing, “killed you.” He finished eventually.

“It may very well kill you!” Dirk screamed.

Todd was about to reply, but Dirk interrupted him.

“Don’t speak! Focus on staying still and staying awake.” Dirk said and fished out his phone from his pocket and dialed 911.

And so followed the most exhausting and terrifying 8 hours of Dirk’s life.

He forced himself to be brave enough to call Amanda, praying that she wouldn’t hate him. He also called Farah, who rushed to the hospital to be by his side.

The next hours were filled with silent tears and Dirk’s mind scratching itself raw.  
‘Your fault’ was all he could think.

“Dirk.” Farah tried to get his attention.

Dirk’s face was wet with tears and his ears were ringing. Nothing felt real.

“Dirk!” Farah raised her voice.

Dirk looked up to see her gesturing towards the hallway. Dirk shifted his gaze to see Todd’s surgeon walk into the waiting area.  
Dirk practically flew to stand and walk towards the doctor.

“How is he?” Dirk asked. He felt Farah walk next to him.

“Mr…?” The doctor questioned.

“Gently.” Dirk replied impatiently. “How is Todd?”

“Mr. Gently, your friend’s surgery was successful. We removed the bullet and were able to stop the bleeding. The bullet did little damage to any vital organs. The most alarming was the loss of blood, but we got transfusions going in time. We will need to keep him here for a few days to look for any complications, but he seems to be doing well so far.” The doctor explained.

Dirk let out a breath of relief he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“Thank you. Thank you so much, Doctor Waugh.” Dirk sobbed.

The doctor placed a hand on Dirk’s shoulder and smiled. “Your friend should be fine.” She added.

“Can I see him?” Dirk asked.

“He should be moved into his room by now. Visiting hours are over at 9.” She replied.

“Thank you.” Dirk smiled.

“Any more questions?” The doctor asked.

“No, thank you Doctor Waugh.” Dirk said and the doctor gave him a nod and turned to walk away.

“Let’s go.” Dirk said to Farah and turned to basically sprint towards Todd’s room.

“You go. I’ll update Amanda.” Farah yelled after him.

When Dirk got to Todd’s room, his breath got caught in his throat. Todd looked… So different. He looked pale and somehow… Small. Well, smaller.  
Dirk sat on the seat next to Todd’s bed and looked at him. His eyes filled with tears once again.

“I’m so sorry, Todd. I’m so sorry.” Dirk whispered. “I never wanted this to happen. I cause pain to everyone around me, but I was really hoping I could spare you. I’m so sorry, Todd… I love you. I’m sorry.” His last apology got swallowed by his cries.

Dirk let his head rest on Todd’s bed as he cried. After a while, unconsciousness finally found him.

When Dirk woke, he found Todd looking at him with a smile on his face.

“Todd!” Dirk screamed and threw his arms around Todd’s neck.  
Todd groaned. Right. Bullet wound. Shit.

“Shit! Sorry!” Dirk exclaimed and sat back in his seat.

“It’s okay, Dirk.” Todd laughed as soon as he got his breath back.

“No, Todd, it’s not okay. You got shot!” Dirk exclaimed.

“Yeah, I know, I was there.” Todd mumbled.

“Why on earth would you do that! Never, ever do that again!” Dirk’s voice got even louder and higher.

“I saved your life?” Todd replied, confused.

“I don’t care! I mean, yes, thank you, but my life is not worth yours!” Dirk screamed.

“I’m not dead, Dirk. I’m gonna be fine.” Todd reassured him.

“But you could’ve died!” Dirk replied angrily.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t, so-“

“God, Todd, stop pretending like it’s not a big deal!” Dirk screamed.

“Well, it seems like the universe didn’t want me dead just yet.” Todd joked.

“Fuck the universe!” Dirk yelled.

Todd looked stunned. He blinked a few times and then took a deep breath.

“Dirk. I’m okay.” Todd said.

“But you could’ve easily not been.” Dirk whispered. “I’m surprised you are okay.”

“Why?” Todd asked.

“Because! I always get people hurt! And you… I can’t lose you, Todd. I simply can’t. So do not do anything like that again. Ever.” Dirk said.

“Oh Dirk…” Todd sighed and took Dirk’s hand into his. “I made that decision by myself. You had nothing to do with it.”

“That bullet was meant for me!” Dirk exclaimed.

“Yeah, I know. But I chose to…”

“Take a bullet for me!” Dirk exclaimed in anger.

“Yeah, that. That was my decision. It’s not on you. And I really am fine, Dirk.” Todd explained.

A silence filled the hospital room for a minute. Then Dirk stood up.

“Maybe you should quit.” Dirk said.

“What?” Todd asked.

“Quit. Being my assistant. Quit.” Dirk explained.

“What? No. Why? No!” Todd exclaimed.

“I can’t have you hurt. I can’t.” Dirk said.

“Dirk, no, you didn’t do this, I did. I’m not going anywhere!” Todd protested.

“It would be better-“

“I don’t give a shit, Dirk! I’m not quitting. Period.” Todd growled.

Dirk sighed in defeat. “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t.” Todd replied.

“Don’t ever do that again.” Dirk demanded.

“I’ll try.”

“No. Just don’t do it.”

Todd laughed. “Then don’t get a gun pointed at you.”

“I didn’t mean to! I never mean to!” Dirk groaned.

“I know.” Todd laughed.

“So just… don’t risk your life for me.” Dirk said.

“So just don’t make me love you so much.” Todd shot back.

“I never exactly meant to…” Dirk muttered. “So, how do I do that?”

“You can’t.” Todd shrugged.

Dirk sighed. “You’re impossible.”

“Only way to put up with you.” Came Todd’s reply.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I would love to see a story about the Rowdy 3 protecting Dirk. Whether when he was a kid or later on in life.”
> 
> this ended up being about the escape from Blackwing, but just a short scene, so not much about how it happened etc is clear. & maybe “saving” dirk more so than “protecting” him but… hope you like it.

Svlad was woken up by a loud alarm blaring from all over the hallways of Blackwing. It was something he had never experienced before.

Throughout the years Svlad had been through a countless amount of alarming - pun intended - ways to be woken up in Blackwing, but an emergency alarm had never been one of them.

Suddenly the door to his room flew open. One member of the Project Incubus, the psychic vampires, was standing at the doorway.

“Icarus.” Said the tall vampire with glasses.

“Please don’t hurt me.” Svlad heard himself plead.

“We gonna get you outta here is what we gonna do.” The man replied and extended his hand towards Svlad. “Come on, kid.”

“What?” Svlad asked.

The tall vampire sighed. “We gotta way out but we’re running out of time! You wanna get out of here, don’t you?” The man explained.

Svlad nodded quickly and got up from his bed. 

“Well come on!” The man raised his voice.

Svlad quickly followed the man out the door and they made their way down the hallway toward the rest of the psychic vampires. And a fourth man Svlad has never seen before. Or, a boy.

“Icarus, meet the Rowdy 3. I’m Martin. That’s Cross, Gripps and Vogel.” The man, Martin, made quick introductions and then started pushing his way toward the exit. “Now, let’s get the hell out of here.”

The men started running down the hallway and Svlad’s heart was pounding in his chest. He had no idea what the Rowdy 3 had done to disable the top level security at Blackwing, but right now, he did not care.

He could see Gripps smash open the doors. Cross and Vogel followed suit, howling as they went and Martin gave the heavy doors a hard, victorious kick before stepping out. Svlad stood a few feet away from the door and just stared.

He had expected to see the bright sunlight and feel all the emotions at once, but it was night, so it was dark out and Svlad couldn’t really wrap his head around the open door. He saw trees. He saw a bird fly by. He saw figures - other projects? - running away from the facility.

And then he saw Mr. Priest.

Svlad’s heart dropped to his stomach.

The Rowdy 3 had already made it out. Only Svlad remained in the hallway, suddenly blocked by Mr. Priest.

“Stop right there, Icarus.” Mr. Priest growled and pointed his gun at Svald’s head, instead of the Rowdy 3 already out of the facility.

Svlad froze in the spot. He could see the Rowdy 3 staring at him from a van they had hijacked from the parking lot. He couldn’t believe how close he had gotten. He’d almost breathed the fresh air. He’d almost got out.

Almost.

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way.” Mr. Priest announced. “Go back to your room, Icarus.” He said. Then he turned to the Rowdy 3. “And you. I’ve called for backup. You’re never making it through those gates.”

Tears started flowing from Svlad’s eyes.“Go.” He whispered. “Go!” He then yelled at the Rowdy 3. They still had a chance.

Martin gave his friends a look and then suddenly they all walked towards Mr. Priest and Svlad.

“You finally going down old man.” Martin growled.

Gripps pulled his sleeves over his elbows and Vogel looked furious.

“No. I never lose. Don’t take one more step.” He said, but his gun stayed on Svlad.

“We both know you’re afraid of us and we ain’t in chains anymore.” Martin chuckled.

“Boo!” Screamed Cross.

“One more step and Icarus here gets a bullet in his brain.” Mr. Priest shouted. 

Svlad closed his eyes in fear. He had always been certain he’d meet his end in Blackwing, but this particular scenario never made it into the possibilities he’d come up with.

He was certain the events of tonight were going to have painful repercussions for him. If the Rowdy 3 were smart, they’d just run to the van and drive. Mr. Priest was afraid of them. They were out of their chains. They had a chance. They could get out. They should. Why wouldn’t they? 

Suddenly he heard the gun go off and Svlad braced himself for pain. But it never came.

Svlad slowly opened his eyes only to see Mr. Priest unconscious on the floor and the Rowdy 3 over him, sucking the energy out of him like they had done to Svlad too. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

When the Rowdy 3 finished, Gripps and Cross high-fived and picked up Vogel and began to carry him toward the van.

Martin grinned at Svlad. “Let’s get going.”

Svlad blinked several times before speaking. “You… You didn’t leave.” He said.

Martin turned back around to look at him. “We ain’t monsters, even if that fella thinks so.” He replied and pointed at the still unconscious Mr. Priest.

“Thank you.” Svlad whispered.

Martin nodded and Svlad smiled. This was the first kindness he had been shown in a long time. They’d saved his life. From Mr. Priest and from Blackwing. 

Then Martin started walking towards the van and yelled over his shoulder: “He ain’t gonna stay that way forever, ya know!”

Svlad took one last look at the facility he had been forced to live in for the last several years. And then he ran after the Rowdy 3, who patiently waited for him to get in before closing the doors to the van. And they drove straight through the gate doors.

They were free.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Farah + Tina, patching each other up? Thank you x”
> 
> I’m not sure if you wanted this to be bromance or romance so I played with the romance idea & this became very flirty but nothing really happens.

“That was amazeballs!” Tina exclaimed as Farah handcuffed the man on the ground, who had fought back aggressively only seconds ago.

Farah sighed and closed the car door after pushing the man in the backseat. She turned to look at Tina, only to notice a gash on her chest.

“Woah, Tina, you’re hurt!” Farah said and walked over to Tina.

Tina looked down at her chest. “Oh yeah, that, no biggie.” She shrugged and winced immediately after.

“Let me look.” Farah said. Tina held up her hands in defeat and sat on a log behind her while Farah examined her injury.

“How did that even happen? He didn’t have a weapon?” Farah questioned.

Tina shrugged again and winced, again. “I don’t know, dude, it all happened so fast.” She replied.

Farah walked back to the car. “There’s a first aid kid in the trunk. Give me a second.” She told Tina over her shoulder.

Farah reached into the trunk of the car and fished out the first aid kit. She sighed in relief as she saw that there was still gauze and other supplies enough to tend to Tina’s wound left.

“Here.” Farah said as she handed Tina the kit. Tina went to open it but Farah stopped her. “No, I’ll do it. Just hold it.” She said.

“Okay.” Tina replied. “If you really wanna ogle at my general chest area.” She then winked.

Farah blushed and didn’t say anything. She still hadn’t quite gotten used to Tina’s flirting.

“I still don’t get how you got this hurt.” Farah wondered out loud as she cleaned Tina’s wound. “The guy barely touched you.”

Tina sighed. “I might’ve fallen on that stupid rock over there.” She replied and nodded towards a huge rock with sharp edges at the edge of the road they had confronted their perp on.

Farah tried not to laugh. “Oh.” She simply said.

“Not all of us can be badass ninjas like you.” Tina laughed. “Some of us get our asses handed to us by inanimate objects.”

“I’m not a badass ninja. I’ve just trained my whole life”. Farah stated as she taped the last edge of the gauze on Tina. “There. All done.” She said.

“Did you like the view?” Tina asked and smirked.

It took Farah a moment to realize what she meant. “I- You know I only wanted to help-“

“Chillax, Black. I’m just messing with you.” Tina laughed.

Farah laughed softly with her. Then she looked down at her hands. “You know, It wasn’t bad.”

She looked up to find Tina looking at her with an impressed expression. Farah blushed. Then she realized how long they had been silent and cleared her throat.

“Well. We should get going.” She said.

Tina nodded. “Sure. Unless you need some patching up after that badassery?” She questioned.

Farah thought for a moment. “I think I might have hurt my shoulder in the fight.” She admitted.

Tina patted the spot next to her on the log. Farah sat down next to her.

“Jacket off, Black.” Tina ordered.

Farah carefully shook off her leather jacket until she was left wearing only a dark tank top.

“Lord give me strength.” Tina murmured under her breath and started to examine Farah’s arm.

Farah blushed yet again.

Yes, she still hadn’t quite gotten used to Tina’s flirting.

But she could get to be.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “If you feel like writing something small with Dirk and mona, maybe talking about Todd?? I would be so happy :D”
> 
> A/N: a fun idea! I’m not sure if you meant platonic or romantic talk of todd, but I went with the romantic kind.  
> also: I’ve never written mona before & in this context it’s hard to focus on her character specifically so I hope this isn’t too random for her character.

After a few minutes of Dirk trying convince Todd he couldn’t leave the agency before finding a paper he’d misplaced, but that he would be fine and the exhausted Todd should just go home to rest, Todd sighed and finally bid Dirk goodnight.

Dirk waved at Todd until he disappeared behind the corner. Then Dirk went back to looking for the small piece of paper, essential for what the universe had in store for him next.

That is until he was interrupted by a soft voice.

“Why didn’t you go home with your husband?” Came the voice somewhere behind Dirk.

“Bloody hell, Mona!” Dirk squealed and turned around to see Mona standing closely behind him, which she had not been a second ago. Mona looked confused.

“I didn’t know you were here too.” Dirk said more calmly.

Mona smiled. “I was your jacket again.” She replied.

Dirk looked at his desk, where he had left the jacket and indeed, it was not there anymore.

“Oh. Would you mind turning into it again once I leave the office? It’s a bit chilly.” Dirk replied.

“Sure.” Mona smiled sweetly. “So, why are you still here and not home with your husband?” She then asked.

Dirk sighed. “I seem to have misplaced an important- Wait. Husband?” He suddenly realized what Mona had said.

“The small man.” Mona clarified.

“I- Todd? He’s not- Why do you think he’s my husband?” Dirk mumbled.

Mona shrugged. “Married couples live together and share a life together, don’t they? My parents did.” She replied matter-of-factly.

Dirk blushed. “Well, yes, of course, but that’s not… That’s not what we are, though.” He assured Mona.

Mona furrowed her brow in confusion. “Then what are you?”

Dirk shifted his weight on his feet awkwardly. “We’re friends. Co-workers. Roommates?” He tried to explain.

“Why?” Mona asked.

“Why?” Dirk echoed.

“Yes. Why are you not married even though you act like you are?” Mona clarified.

Dirk looked down at his feet shyly. “Because… We’re friends. Friends don’t just… Get married. They’d need to, you know… Love each other.” He almost whispered.

Mona frowned. “You don’t love the small man?”

“Of course I do!” Dirk replied quickly. Too quickly. “I mean-“

“Then why?” Mona asked, not even slightly taken aback with Dirk’s confession.

“It has to be mutual love, Mona.” Dirk sighed.

“The small man doesn’t love you?” Mona asked, her expression almost shocked, like she couldn’t understand why someone would not love Dirk.

“Todd. And he’s my friend. That’s all. Friends don’t love their friends that way.” Dirk explained.

Mona blinked and thought for a moment. “But you love your friend that way.” She stated eventually, trying to understand Dirk’s stand.

Dirk froze. She was right, of course, but how could he explain to her that Todd was different?

“Well, yes, but that’s… Unusual. Todd doesn’t feel the same way.” He finally said.

“How do you know?” Mona asked.

Dirk loved Mona, he really did, but he would’ve rather been talking about anything else.

“He’s just… Never expressed otherwise.” He settled on saying.

“Have you?” Mona asked.

She got him there.

“No, I suppose I have not.” Dirk laughed awkwardly.

“So you can’t know for sure?” Mona asked.

Even though she meant it as a genuine question, no doubt lacking much experience in relationships and communication herself, the phrase ignited a spark of hope in Dirk.

“I suppose not.” He replied quietly.

Mona grinned. “He loves you.” She simply said.

Dirk looked up at her. “Mona, you don’t know that.” He said firmly.

Mona’s grin never faltered. “He loves you.” She said again.

And before Dirk could argue, Mona was gone and Dirk’s yellow leather jacket was laying on the office floor.

“That’s an unfair way to ensure the last word.” Dirk mumbled and turned away.

Dirk stared at the framed picture of him, Todd and Farah on his desk, taken at the opening of the agency. Dirk had convinced himself that his infatuation with Todd was inconvenient and not reciprocated, but Mona’s optimism, despite his better judgement, had given him hope.Maybe it was time to do a little experiment. Just to be sure.

Dirk picked up Mona in her jacket form from the floor and put her around his shoulders before walking out the door of the agency and towards his apartment, where Todd awaited.

The misplaced paper had been forgotten for now, but it would turn up soon, discovered by Mona, and it would lead them on a wild adventure that would eventually bring Dirk and Todd together.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “What if Dirk is especially self destructive when he's in a smad mood? And of course anyone who knows notices and gets super concerned, but he writes it off?”
> 
> A/N: I actually love this prompt because growing up in blackwing dirk got physical punishments when he did badly in the experiments so it would be totally expected that any kind of failure/hardship would prompt self-destructive behavior in him, even now.  
> this turned into dirk not being able to live up to his own unrealistic standards set by blackwing & angst + hurt/comfort ensuing.  
> but I hope you like it! x
> 
> p.s. I suppose a trigger warning could be put here, since this does involve dirk hurting himself but it’s not too dramatic or explicit (not the most “popular” [ew at the choice of word] forms of self harm & he’s doing it subconsciously) but if you can’t handle reading about any self-destructive behavior, skip this!

Todd was frustrated. It was late and Dirk was even more hyper active than usual. He couldn’t figure out a clue in the case and seemed to be obsessing over it.

  
Todd was cranky. He was tired. He wasn’t proud of how he handled the situation.

  
“Dirk, you’re not gonna get it! Let’s just sleep on it, okay?” Todd groaned.

  
“I’ve almost got it, Todd!” Dirk almost snapped back.

  
“No, you don’t, Dirk! Everything you’ve come up with so far has been wrong! Let it go! Let’s just go home, for Christ’s sake!” Todd raised his voice.

  
Dirk looked like he’d been slapped. Farah raised her eyes from the paper work to look at the boys. Todd immediately knew he overreacted.

  
“Look, I’m sorry, Dirk, I’m just tired.” He sighed.

  
Dirk nodded. “I understand. Let’s go.” He answered.

  
“Yeah?” Todd asked.

  
“Yes. Goodnight, Farah.” Dirk gave Farah a shy smile and grabbed his coat.

  
Farah smiles awkwardly in return. “Night, guys.” She replied.

  
Todd gave her a quick wave and followed Dirk out. They flagged down a taxi and got in. Todd was more than satisfied spending the ride in silence with his own thoughts, but his thoughts were interrupted by weird thumping. He was about to ask the driver if everything was okay with the car, but from the corner of his eye he noticed movement. Dirk was slowly hitting his wrist against the car door.

  
“Dirk?” Todd said to get his friend’s attention.

  
“Hmm?” Dirk said, not looking up from his hand making contact with the car door.

  
“What are you doing?” Todd asked.

  
Now Dirk looked up. “Pardon?”

  
“What are you doing?” Todd repeated.

  
Dirk followed Todd’s gaze to his hand.

“Oh. I rather don’t know. Deep in thought I guess.” He shrugged and brought his hand to his lap.

  
Todd furrowed his brow in thought but didn’t say anything more.

  
In fact, he forgot about Dirk’s weird tic until they got back to their shared apartment.

  
“You want something to eat before bed?” Todd asked as he made his way to the fridge.

  
When Dirk didn’t reply in a while, Todd made his way to the living room where he found Dirk sitting on the couch and hitting his wrist repeatedly against the coffee table, harder than he’d done before. His expression conveyed that it was starting to hurt him.

  
“Hey! Cut it out! What are you doing?” Todd walked to Dirk and swatted his hand away from the table.

  
Dirk jumped at he sudden outburst. “Oh, sorry, what did you say?” He asked.

  
Todd sighed. “Never mind that, why are you doing that?” He asked and nodded towards Dirk’s hand which was red in the spot that had been hit.

  
Dirk looked down at it. “Oh, I don’t know. It helps me focus.” He shrugged.

  
“What, hurting yourself helps you focus?” Todd threw back mockingly.

  
Dirk just shrugged again.

  
“That’s not normal, Dirk.” Todd said more seriously.

  
Dirk let out a humorless laugh. “Well, in case you haven’t noticed, Todd, I’m not exactly ‘normal’.” He replied.

  
Todd rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m aware, but still, why does that help you focus?” Todd asked.

  
Dirk seemed to visibly pale at the question. “I don’t know.” He whispered.

  
Todd was about to press further but a sudden thought stopped him. Why would pain help Dirk refocus? Where would he have learned that? Of course. Everything unhealthy and depressing in Dirk’s life could pretty much be traced back to Blackwing. Todd felt sick at the thought of how Dirk had to have learned this coping mechanism.

  
“Dirk…” Todd started.

  
“It’s nothing, really, Todd.” Dirk interrupted him.

  
“It’s not nothing, Dirk. It’s not healthy is what it is.” Todd said.

  
“Well, too bad! It is what it is. Just let it go.” Dirk snapped and got up from the couch. “I just need to figure out this case and everything will be fine again.”

  
“No, Dirk, you need a break. And it’s okay to take a break.” Todd said.

  
Dirk sighed.

  
“I know you’ve been hurt, Dirk, but how things where done in Blackwing is not how real life works.” Todd explained.

  
Dirk winced at the mention of Blackwing.

  
“You need to understand that hurting yourself is not okay but that it’s okay to accept setbacks. We’ll figure out the case, we always do. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Todd said softly.

  
Dirk stayed quiet. Todd gave him a sympathetic look but Dirk wouldn’t meet his eyes. Todd followed Dirk’s gaze to his right hand and noticed that he was squeezing it into a fist very tightly.

  
Todd took a few steps to Dirk and took his hand in his. Dirk relaxed his hand and looked at Todd, but Todd was looking at Dirk’s hand which was developing angry red marks from where his nails had dug into his palm.

  
“You didn’t fail, Dirk. And even if you did, so what? People fail to meet their goals all the time but that’s okay? They just try again. It’s okay to not get results or to have negative feelings. You just have to let yourself feel those feelings. It’ll get better. You don’t need to punish yourself for them.” Todd explained softly.

  
Dirk looked down at his feet and nodded softly.

  
“Next time you feel like hurting yourself, just, yell at me or something. That’s how I take out my aggression. I won’t mind. You’ve earned your turn anyway.” Todd said to lighten the mood.

  
Dirk snorted. “I’d rather not do that, Todd.” He replied.

  
Todd smiled. Of course Dirk wouldn’t do that.

  
“Well, then just talk to me.” Todd said.

  
Dirk sighed. “I’ll try. I just don’t really even think about it at this point. I didn’t even realize I was doing it.” He replied quietly.

  
“Then I’ll help you get over it. I’ll yell at you to stop and then feel bad about yelling afterwards and make you tea.” Todd said.

  
Dirk fully laughed this time. “Alright. Deal. And then we can work on your anger issues.” He said.

  
Todd furrowed his brow. “What anger issues?”


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Todd finding out things from Dirk’s past, Blackwing, lonely/probably homeless for a bit/getting hurt solving cases alone time after Blackwing, idk if he finds out accidentally or on purpose, bit by bit and sort of piecing it together or at once.”
> 
> A/N: not my best work but I hope you like it.

Blackwing was finally closed for good. It was over. All projects were free and the facility was empty.

Dirk couldn’t believe it. It was over. Blackwing was no more. He looked around the prison of his childhood (and parts of his adulthood) and took a deep breath. It was over. Never again would he have to come back.

Todd and Farah came around the corner and grinned at Dirk. They had done it. They’d taken down Blackwing. They walked together down the empty hallways, taking it all in, before leaving it behind for good.

On their way back, Dirk noticed Todd eyeing him nervously. He assumed Todd was worried about his reaction to the day’s events and gave Todd a reassuring smile. It was a roller coaster of emotions but most of all Dirk was relieved.

Once they dropped off Farah and got back to their apartment, Dirk could tell something was bothering Todd. He felt like some kind of confrontation would take place so he decided to speed up the process.

“What is it?” Dirk asked.

“What’s what?” Todd replied.

“There’s something you want to talk about.” Dirk said. It wasn’t a question but a statement.

Todd sighed and rubbed his temples. Dirk waited patiently.

“Look,” Todd started, “I know I probably shouldn’t have but… I found your file at Blackwing and…”

“You read it.” Dirk finished for him.

“Yeah.” Todd admitted quietly.

“And?” Dirk asked. “What of it?”

Todd gave him a sympathetic look. “It just… They’ve kept tabs on you even after Blackwing and…”

“What, Todd?” Dirk urged Todd to speak. He did not like talking about the darker times in his life but he knew he couldn’t escape this conversation so he just wanted to get it over with.

“It’s just some rough stuff, Dirk.” Todd finally said. “Like, I know things have been bad for you but I never… I never knew any details. Like… Your own parents seriously put you in Blackwing? The extent of the experiments… You were homeless afterwards? Like, Dirk, that’s stuff that stays with you. You must be-“

“What? What am I?” Dirk snapped.

Todd was momentarily taken aback by Dirk’s sharp tone which was unusual for the angel of a detective but Todd realized that this was the subject that would always be painful for Dirk.

“I don’t know. Hurt? Sad? Traumatized? That shit doesn’t just go away, does it? You do a good job in repressing it and looking at the bright side of things but god, Dirk… Your life has been straight up shit. And you never talk about it. I had no idea! Of course I knew it wasn’t sunshine and rainbows but still.” Todd replied.

“It was all a long time ago.” Dirk shrugged.

“You were last locked up in Blackwing less than a year ago.” Todd pointed out.

“Yes, well-“

“Your parents were actually afraid of you so they gave you up! Blackwing literally tortured you! You didn’t have a place to call home or even a roof over your head for two years after that torture! And all the shit that went down with the cases you worked alone? All that can’t be easy to forget.” Todd pushed.

Dirk sighed, defeated. “No, it is not.”

Todd gave him an encouraging smile. Dirk was finally letting some of his guard down.

“You wanna talk about it?” Todd asked.

“I have a hunch you think I need to no matter what my response is.” Dirk muttered.

Todd snorted. “Well have you ever talked about the shit you’ve been through?” He asked.

Dirk sighed again. “No.”

“Might help.” Todd pushed.

Dirk gave him the dirtiest look he could, which still was more adorable than intimidating. Then he gave up.

“Fine. But I don’t see the point since you’ve already read it all in my bloody file.” Dirk said.

“That was observations by some assholes at Blackwing. I don’t know your point of view. How it was for you.” Todd pointed out.

Dirk looked touched at Todd’s words. He could tell Todd actually cared. He already knew the troubled life Dirk had lead, but he wanted to hear it from Dirk. He wanted to know how Dirk felt. And Dirk knew now he had to talk.

“Where do I even start?” He asked.

Todd thought for a moment. “Is it too clichéd if I say ‘the beginning’?” He asked.

Dirk gave a small laugh. “It will be a long story then.”

Todd placed a hand on Dirk’s shoulder. “I have nowhere else to be.”

And so, finally, Dirk talked about his past and the pain he’d kept secret for so long.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Dirk finds out he has a very bad allergy the hard way (for example nuts, but it could be anything else, really), since he’s spent most of his life in Blackwing, it seems legitimate that he doesn’t know. Todd starts freaking out and makes sure that whatever Dirk’s allergic to disappears (I’d love it if they’re already together but it can also be just bromance).”

Dirk walked into the apartment and immediately noticed a delicious smell coming from the kitchen.

Though Dirk had insisted that he had to stay at the agency to work on a case a bit later than usual, Todd had said he had something to take care of and ran off as soon as there was a lull in the schedule for the day.

Dirk made his way to the kitchen to find Todd attempting to clean up what looked like the aftermath of the murder of the chocolate man.

“Todd? What are you doing?” Dirk asked in an amused voice.

“Dirk! You’re home!” Todd exclaimed as he swung around to face his boyfriend.

“Yes. And you are…?” Dirk asked.

“I made a cake.” Todd smiled and blushed.

“You made a cake?” Dirk asked, surprised.

“Yeah.”

“But you don’t even cook?” Dirk stated.

“Yeah, well…” Todd shrugged.

“So, why the cake?” Dirk asked and walked up to Todd to kiss him on the cheek as he usually did as a greeting.

“Well…” Todd started awkwardly, “I just realized this morning that… Well, it’s been exactly a year since we met today and I thought… I don’t know. You’re supposed to celebrate these things, right?” He explained.

Dirk felt his face warm up. “You- you baked an anniversary cake? For us?” He grinned.

“Something like that.” Todd shrugged and looked at his feet.

“That is… So incredibly sweet!” Dirk exclaimed.

“It’s not a big deal.” Todd insisted.

“You don’t bake!” Dirk argued.

“Whatever, do you want cake or not?” Todd asked, embarrassed.

“Yes, of course.” Dirk grinned. “Thank you, love.”

Todd blushed and handed Dirk a piece of the cake. They sat at the table and ate together.

“This is delicious, Todd.” Dirk said.

“Well, good. Thanks, I mean.” Todd replied.

“I wish I had a present for you.” Dirk said.

“Oh no, it’s fine. It’s not even the anniversary of us, you know, being a couple, I just thought-“

Todd was cut off by Dirk abruptly clearing his throat.

“You okay?” Todd asked.

“Yes, fine.” Dirk replied but kept clearing his throat in a way that sounded painful.

“Did you swallow the cake wrong?” Todd asked, now a bit worried.

“No, my throat just feels… Itchy.” Dirk replied. “And I have difficulty breathing.” He added after a while.

“What? You can’t breathe? Oh my God, Dirk.” Todd said and stood up. “What the hell happened?”

Dirk just shrugged and gasped as breathing was getting obviously harder.

“How could you just suddenly not be able to-“ Then Todd froze suddenly. “Wait. Dirk, do you have any allergies?”

Dirk looked up at Todd. “I don’t know?” He replied.

“You don’t know?” Todd exclaimed.

“My diet in Blackwing was quite simple and afterwards I lived on whatever I happened to get my hands on. This has never happened before though.” Dirk explained in a pained voice.

“Okay, we’re going to the hospital.” Todd said and reached for Dirk’s arm.

“Is that really necessary?” Dirk replied, now not sounding much like himself at all because of the strain in his voice.

“Yes. Come on.” Todd ordered and helped Dirk up and down the stairs to the car.

-

Later in the hospital, after a shot and some oxygen, Dirk was finally breathing normally again.

“You sure you’re okay?” Todd asked.

“Todd, I’m fine.” Dirk assured his boyfriend.

Todd still had something to say, but was interrupted by Dirk’s doctor walking in.

“Hello Mr. Gently, how are you feeling?” The Doctor asked with a smile.

“Much better. Thank you, Doctor Jones.” Dirk replied cheerily.

“Glad to hear it. So, it seems like you had a bad allergic reaction to peanuts. Did you eat something that you didn’t know had peanuts in it?” Doctor Jones asked.

Dirk turned to look at Todd.

Todd paled. “The stupid cake.” He replied quietly.

“That’s a yes?” Doctor Jones asked.

“Yes, but I was not aware I shouldn’t eat peanuts.” Dirk responded.

“You were not aware you were allergic?” Doctor Jones asked in a curious voice. Dirk nodded. “That’s quite unusual. Peanut allergy is quite aggressive and usually presents itself well before your age.” She explained.

“I’ve been… On a quite simple diet for most of my life.” Dirk said.

“Alright then. Well, be sure to avoid peanuts from now on. I also suggest you purchase an epinephrine autoinjector to carry around in case of an unexpected allergic reaction.” Doctor Jones explained.

“Of course. Thank you, Doctor.” Dirk replied.

“Yes, thank you so much, Doctor.” Todd said as the Doctor smiled and walked out.

“Purchase a what?” Dirk asked Todd after the doctor had left.

Todd just stared at the door the doctor had walked through.

“Todd?” Dirk tried to get his attention.

“My anniversary cake almost killed you.” Todd mumbled.

“No it didn’t, I just got an allergic reaction.” Dirk shrug.

“You can die from an allergic reaction, Dirk, especially from this allergy.” Todd exclaimed.

Dirk blinked for a few times. “Really?”

Todd groaned.

“Todd, everything’s fine. You didn’t know. And neither did I for the matter!” Dirk explained.

Todd sighed. “I know. I still feel bad though.” He said.

“If it makes you feel any better, the cake really was delicious. Before the whole throat closing up debacle.” Dirk smiled.

Todd couldn’t help but laugh. “Great. Thanks.”

-

Todd stopped at the door of their apartment and Dirk almost walked into him.

“What is it?” Dirk asked.

“I need to get rid of all the peanuts.” He said. “Wait here.”

“Wha- They’re not going to attack me from a cupboard, Todd!” Dirk said, but Todd had already walked in and closed the door on Dirk.

After about 4,5 minutes - not that Dirk was counting, of course - Todd opened the door.

“Okay, come on in.” He said.

Dirk rolled his eyes affectionately and walked in to the apartment.

“We should book you an appointment to one of those allergy test things.” Todd said and grabbed his laptop from the coffee table and sat on the couch. “You know, to see if you’re allergic to anything else.”

“Do you have to do it now? The appointment isn’t going to be tonight anyway.” Dirk said and sat next to Todd on the couch.

“Well, no, but the sooner we book it-“

“Todd.” Dirk cut him off.

“What?” Todd asked.

“I’m fine.” Dirk said.

“I know.” Todd whispered.

“I am.” Dirk repeated.

“I know, I just… You scared me, man.” Todd finally said.

“I’m sorry.” Dirk said and laid his head on Todd’s shoulder.

“No, it wasn’t your fault. It was mine.” Todd said.

Dirk sat up. “It absolutely was not your fault, Todd Brotzman.” He said.

Todd just stared at Dirk, surprised by his reaction.

“You did something nice for me. I didn’t even know I was allergic, how could have you? I’m fine and now we know. Problem solved. We’ll test for other allergies and get one of those elephant injectors in case of emergencies. Right now I just want to spend time with you and not worry, alright? It is the anniversary of our first meeting after all. Though technically what constitutes as our first meeting can be argued since the time traveling-“

“Dirk.” Todd interrupted.

Dirk shut up and smiled.

Todd continued. “You’re right. Sorry. I just freaked out. We’ve been held at gun point and in sword fights and whatnot, I guess it just freaked me out that you got so hurt because of my stupid cake.” Todd explained. “I promise I’ll stop fuzzing. But I also will get you that appointment and the epipen. And I won’t bake or cook until I know what you actually can and can’t eat.” He said.

“Fine.” Dirk replied. “But for now, just kiss me, please?”

Todd smiled and leaned in but stopped right before their lips touched.

”Wait. Should I kiss you after eating that cake?”


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I was wondering if you could write something about Dirk waking up from a nightmare and not knowing where he is and blatantly assumes he’s back at Blackwing and Todd has to comfort him?”

_His brain is buzzing. It hurts. Everything hurts._

_He can hear people talking, but he’s not registering any words._

_He feels like he’s outside of his body now, looking at himself, crawled into the corner of his prison, clutching his head in pain._

_They want him for another experiment but he has yet to recover from the previous electric shocks. Someone grabs his arm._

_He thinks he might die._

_He’s not sure if it’s the electric shocks or the panic, but something is killing him._

_They are killing him._

 

Suddenly Dirk woke up, gasping for air, and his hands flew automatically to the sides of his head, ready to press down in hopes of relieving the pain.

Dirk stared at the ceiling. What the hell just happened? Did they really leave him to sleep off the pain? They never let him do that? Something was wrong.

Maybe it was finally time. He couldn’t perform like they wanted. They were finally going to get rid of him.

Suddenly Todd appeared at Dirk’s doorway.

“Dirk? Are you alright? I heard crying.”

Dirk touched his face. It was wet. He had been crying.

Dirk closed his eyes and rubbed them. Hard. He wanted nothing more than to not be here right now.

“Dirk?” Todd asked again and walked towards Dirk’s bed.

“You can’t help.” Dirk whispered and let out a sob.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Todd asked and sat next to Dirk.

“Because you’re not really here.” Dirk replied.

“What?” Todd asked, confused.

“I wish you were here. No, I wish I wasn’t here. God, my head is killing me. I’m dying. They’re killing me.” Dirk cried.

Todd didn’t know what to do. Dirk was obviously having a panic attack or something. He was making no sense.

“Dirk… It’s gonna be okay.” Todd tries to calm his friend down.

“No it’s not. I’m never getting out. I’m gonna die here. They’re killing me.” Dirk mumbled and rubbed his eyes harder.

Suddenly it clicked for Todd. Dirk doesn’t know where he is. He thinks he’s in Blackwing.

“Dirk, hey, look at me.” Todd said.

Dirk reluctantly raised his eyes to meet Todd’s. His face was wet from tears, his breathing coming out in uneven puffs.

“Dirk. You’re home. In Seattle. And I’m here with you. You’re nowhere near Blackwing. You’re home.” Todd explains softly.

“I’m- no, I was electrocuted and my head- it, no-“ Dirk stutters, trying to make sense of the reality of the situation.

“That was a nightmare, Dirk. You’ve been home for weeks. You got out, Dirk. You’re okay.” Todd reassured him.

“But…” Dirk whispered.

Todd scooted closer to Dirk. “Give me your hand.” He said.

Dirk looked at him, unsure.

Todd reached over to Dirk and took his hand in his. Dirk took a deep breath.

“Feel that? I’m real. Okay?” Todd asked.

Dirk nodded slowly.

Todd lowered their hands to his lap.

“Okay. And look around, Dirk. This is your room. And you’re wearing your favorite shirt. You couldn’t do that in Blackwing, could you?” Todd said.

Dirk shook his head.

“Alright. Just… Take deep breaths. You’re okay. You’re okay.” Todd said softly, still holding Dirk’s hand in his lap.

Silence fell over them for a while and they just sat there, holding hands and breathing.

After several minutes Dirk sighed and then spoke up.

“I’m sorry, Todd.” He whispered.

Todd gave him a look. “Sorry for what?”

“For… Freaking out on you like that. I thought… I guess… I just had a bad dream and it was so… Realistic.” Dirk explained.

Todd’s expression softened. “Hey. You so don’t have to apologize. You’ve been through a lot. And besides… You’ve dealt with a lot of freak outs from me. I think you’re due one or, you know, ten by now. It’s only fair.” Todd chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

The smile on Dirk’s face told him that he’d done the right thing.

“Thank you, Todd.” Dirk said softly.

“Anytime, Dirk. Really.” Todd replied.

They fell silent again. Todd contemplated his next move.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He finally asked.

Dirk sighed. “I don’t think I can. Not yet anyway. It’s still so…”

“I get it.” Todd said. “Well, no, I don’t get _it_ but I get it. You know?” He mumbled awkwardly.

Dirk chuckled. “Yes. Thank you.”

They both smiled.

Then Dirk spoke again.

“Have we been holding hands for the past 15 minutes?”


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Maybe Bart resisting the universe's will, shooting Dirk and then realizing it might have been a mistake."
> 
> A/N: this is pretty short & very dramatic but I wanted to put emphasis on how… well, harsh the universe can be to the holistics.

Bart doesn’t get hurt. It just does not happen.

So how is it that the ninja woman managed to stab Bart in the leg?

It hurts. It hurts like Bart has never felt pain before.

This is wrong. It’s all wrong.

This is all Dirk Gently’s fault. There’s something different about him. No one’s ever been as hard to kill as Dirk Gently.

Bart does not like it.

So many things in life make no sense and are scary, but if there’s one thing Bart knows, it’s killing.

And Dirk Gently has to die.

When Bart enters the basement of the Spring mansion with Ken, the first thing her eyes land on is Dirk Gently, seemingly in pain, barely conscious on the floor.

An easy target, Bart thinks. Not that any of her targets are any less than easy.

Except for Dirk Gently.

She walks up to him, gun slightly raised, vaguely registering Dirk’s whimpering and the smaller man’s protests from the other side of the room.

She raises the gun to Dirk Gently’s eye level, holding it right to his head.

Dirk Gently closes his eyes.

The smaller man yells.

The little girl gasps.

Bart places her finger on the trigger.

The universe pushes and pull at every fiber of her being.

Pulling the trigger feels nearly impossible.

No. Killing is never impossible for Bart.

This is what the universe has chosen for her to do. She’s a holistic assassin! What is so different about Dirk Gently?

Nothing. No one’s special. Bart is special, but no one else. She’s all alone, being able to make sense of the universe.

This is what she’s supposed to do. No, this is what she’s made to do, always has been.

She looks into Dirk Gently’s now open eyes, and for a second she feels like she knows him. There’s something familiar about him.

But that’s not possible. Dirk Gently is just one of the many people she’s supposed to kill.

Bart bites her teeth together, let’s out a groan and pulls the trigger.

Dirk Gently falls soundlessly to the floor.

The small man screams his name.

The little girl cries.

Ken flinches.

Job done.

Immediately, Bart feels something she’s never felt before.

She feels remorse. She feels bad for having killed this man.

This isn’t supposed to happen.

She doesn’t feel guilty.

This is her job. Killing is what she’s supposed to do. It’s not a bad thing, it’s her role in the universe.

Bart watches as the small man crawls next to Dirk Gently and cries. He screams out things like “why” and “no” and Bart’s chest feels tight.

No.

This isn’t how it usually goes.

She takes a deep breath, but it feels like she’s breathing in smoke.

The universe is angry.

The universe doesn’t approve.

Something’s not right.

The universe told her to find Dirk Gently.

Now Dirk Gently is dead. And everything feels wrong.

Bart slowly lets her eyes fall on her latest victim.

Dirk Gently’s eyes are still open, but there’s no life them.

The small man rests his head on Dirk Gently’s chest and chants “I’m sorry”.

Bart’s eyes feel hot.

She feels several emotions she’s never felt before all at once and she thinks she might die.

It’s all too much. It’s all wrong.

Dirk Gently is dead and everything feels wrong.

Bart screams.

She runs out of the room, she runs out of the building.

She punches a tree.

Her whole body feels…upset.

Something’s wrong. Very wrong.

And deep down Bart knows what it is.

But how could the universe do this to her?

All her life… She has only been one thing.

All she’s ever done is act according to the universe’s will, accept her role in the stream of creation.

And now?

She was wrong.

The universe fooled her.

It trained her to do one thing and then, in the end, punished her for doing it.

Bart screams again.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

She did her job, just like she always does.

But everything feels wrong.

Dirk Gently is dead.

And everything is wrong


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Friedkin never died, and Todd meets him for the first time, knowing what he did to Dirk."
> 
> A/N: not my best work, but it's something?

Todd was just getting used to being back in the real world. Or, perhaps getting used to ever having been in an alternative dimension with trains in the sky and scissor-shaped swords in the first place.

Farah, Hobbs, Tina and Dirk were currently all getting treated for their injuries and Amanda had just called to tell Todd that she and the Rowdies were safely back too so Todd finally felt like he could exhale.

He was exhausted. The last two months had been insane, even without all the alternative dimension business.

Todd picked up the coffee cup he’d just filled with terrible hospital coffee and turned to go find Dirk’s room, only to come face to face with one Hugo Friedkin.

Neither of them said anything for a few seconds.

Then Friedkin cleared his throat. “Hey, Brotzman, right?” He said.

Todd looked at Friedkin in silence. His face was bruised and his left hand was in a sling. He’d obviously been hurt in the fight in Blackwing too. The only thing Todd felt bad about was that he wasn’t there to do that damage himself.

Finally Todd spoke up. “As if you don’t know. You’ve spent months trying to ruin my life.”

Friedkin looked down at his shoes. “Yeah, well, you know I was just doing my job, man.” He said.

Todd scoffed. “That’s not a justification when your job is to hurt innocent people.”

“I didn’t hurt you though! You and Black never did cross our paths in the last few months.” Friedkin argued.

Todd rolled his eyes. “Well, you hurt my friend.”

Friedkin looked confused. “Who?” He asked.

Todd blinked a few times. “Are you kidding me right now?”

Friedkin remained silent for a minute. Then his eyes lit up in realization. “Oh! You mean Icarus?”

Todd bit his teeth together to keep from doing something stupid in anger. “That’s not his name.” He hissed.

“Gently, whatever.” Friedkin waved his healthy hand in a dismissing gesture. “But you know how Blackwing is, I had to do that.” He continued.

“You kidnapped Dirk and tortured him for months and then when he finally escaped you spent all your time trying to kidnap and torture him again!” Todd exclaimed and got a few strange looks from other people in the hospital waiting room.

“Uh, yeah, cause it’s my job? How are you not getting this?” Friedkin replied.

“So you’re not sorry about it, even now?” Todd asked.

“I mean, I’m not totally sure what happened or what’s gonna happen but like, I just wanted to do a good job! And everyone said that Icarus is dangerous, so-“ Friedkin tried to explain but by the time Todd heard him refer to Dirk as his stupid test subject code name, he finally snapped.

Todd’s fist collided with Friedkin’s face, more specifically his nose. Before Todd even fully realized what had happened, Friedkin was whining in a loud voice and Todd’s coffee cup was only half full, the rest of its contents on the floor.

Todd leaned in to look into Friedkin’s surprised eyes. “Go anywhere near Dirk again and you’ll be a dead man.” Todd whispered. He knew fully well he couldn’t do much harm to someone like Friedkin, but maybe Friedkin didn’t realize that. Or Todd could just get Farah to kick his ass.

Then Todd walked down the hall away from the waiting room, followed by multiple pairs of shocked eyes.

Todd heard someone yell after him, no doubt wanting an explanation to him punching an already injured man, but Todd ignored it and kept walking, looking for the right room number.

Finally he found the right one and carefully opened the door, hoping that Dirk would be asleep. No such luck.

“Todd!” Greeted the cheery british accent as soon as Todd entered the room.

“Dirk.” He replied and smiled back. “How’s the leg.”

“Excruciatingly painful.” Dirk replied just as cheerily.

“Oh good.” Todd snorted.

“But they gave me something for the pain and it should be kicking in any minute now.” Dirk reassured him.

“Oh great, I love loopy on pain meds Dirk.” Todd joked.

Dirk laughed. “Did you find coffee?” He then asked.

“Oh, yeah.” Todd said and raised the cup in his hand to Dirk’s eye level.

Dirk gasped. “Todd! What happened to your hand?”

Todd lowered his eyes to his hand and noticed that it was indeed bruising quite quickly.

“Oh yeah. I punched Friedkin in the face in the waiting room just now.” Todd shrugged.

“…You what?” 


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: first off: this is not my latest prompt fill. I completely forgot having ever written this & somehow missed it when I was uploading the prompt fills here from my tumblr the first time. I only now just randomly thought about dirk’s birthday (you know, as one does) & vaguely remembered writing something about it. so this is older.
> 
> Prompt: “Surprise birthday for Dirk because he's probably never had one.”
> 
> A/N 2.0: this is pretty short & I have had an idea to write about dirk’s birthday in depth so I might do that later on as well.

“Amanda, please, can you just put the banner up?” Todd asked for the third time.

“I’m getting to it! Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Amanda replied and went to pick up the banner.

“Sorry. I just… This needs to be perfect.” Todd replied, scanning the apartment.

About two months ago, he had learned Dirk’s birthday (or what Dirk was pretty sure was his birthday, he had said he’d forgotten some things during his years at Blackwing, which broke Todd’s heart) and that Dirk hadn’t celebrated his birthday since he was too young to remember.

“I get it, dude, but you gotta chill.” Amanda replied, finally motioning for Martin to pick her up so she could hang up the ‘Happy Birthday Dirk’ banner.

“I’m chill. I’m… The chillest.” Todd mumbled as he checked on the several things on his mental checklist for the party.

Balloons (Dirk loved balloons), other decorations (in all colors of the rainbow), food and drinks (all Dirk’s favorites), presents (varying from items of clothing to a beat-up baseball bat from the Rowdies) and a piñata. Amanda had brought the piñata, apparently she thought it was fun and promised Dirk would too. Todd assumed it was mostly for the Rowdy 3 though, who he doubted were really here for a birthday party.

Todd had even snuck into Dirk’s apartment to bring the cat (shark) to Todd’s apartment for the party.

The door opened and Farah walked in with Tina and Hobbs in tow.

“Hey guys! Great timing, Dirk should be here soon.” Todd called out to them.

“Hey party people!” Tina exclaimed.

Amanda waved at them.

“We need to hide and turn off the lights. I’m pretty confident Dirk hasn’t figured this out.” Todd said.

“What did you tell him to get him here?” Farah asked.

“As if he needs a reason to show up.” Todd teased. “I told him Amanda was in town and wanted to see him and that he should come to my apartment for dinner.” He then explained.

“I am actually here for Dirk, not Todd.” Amanda pointed out, still not having completely forgiven Todd, though it seemed like she liked giving Todd a hard time more than she was mad.

Todd’s phone buzzed on the table and he went to check it.

“Okay, Dirk just texted me a picture of a pigeon right outside the building so he’s close, everyone hide!” Todd whisper-yelled and despite having questions about the pigeon picture, everyone complied.

Hobbs being closest to the switch turned off the lights and everyone stayed as quiet as they could.

Which to the Rowdies meant not totally quiet.

Soon enough, the door opened.

“Todd, did you see the picture I sent y- Todd?” Dirk asked as he walked in the door to find a dark, seemingly empty apartment.

He was just about to call out again when his friends jumped out from several hiding spots yelling: “SURPRISE!”

And the Rowdy 3 holding some sort of explosives that were going off.

Dirk lowered his hands which he had thrown up in an attempt to protect himself before he’d recognized the intruders as his friends.

“W-what?” Dirk asked, stunned.

“Happy birthday, Dirk.” Todd said, smiling.

Amanda ran from the other side of the room to give Dirk a powerful hug, almost knocking Dirk off his feet.

“Happy birthday!” She screamed as she clung to Dirk’s neck.

Dirk hugged her back and looked around Todd’s apartment.

There were decorations and food and a banner with his name on it.

“You- You did this… For me?” He asked in wonder.

“Yeah, of course.” Todd replied and walked closer to Dirk and Amanda who had now let go of Dirk.

“Why?” Dirk whispered.

“Well, it’s your probably-birthday and you deserve a party. And you love surprises.” Todd explained.

Dirk’s eyes filled with tears.

Todd got worried.

“Is it too much? Would you rather not have celebrated at all? I thought it was a good idea but I didn’t think about how it might be a sore subject-“

He was cut off by Dirk throwing his arms around Todd’s neck.

Todd shut his mouth and after he recovered from the initial shock, wrapped his arms around Dirk and hugged him back.

“So… Ok?” He asked.

“Todd… It’s perfect.” Dirk mumbled against Todd’s neck.

Todd smiled.

After they pulled away, Dirk was quickly embraced by Tina, followed by a quick hug from Farah and a pat on the back by Hobbs.

The Rowdy 3 just waved their most likely dangerous sparklers at him.

They all chatted for a while, big smiles on their faces, but Dirk without a doubt supporting the biggest one.

He kept finding new details in the decorations, like pictures related to their cases or him, praising all of it multiple times.

He took a picture of the banner with his name on it. The banner his friends had put up for him, with his chosen name on it.

The banner that soon caught fire from the Rowdies’ sparklers but was put off quite quickly thanks to Farah’s reflexes.

Dirk tried every food and drink Todd had gotten for the party, delighted by each of them.

He hugged everyone again because he was so excited and grateful.

He sat on the couch, eating cake and watching his friends happily chat with each other.

Just as Dirk was starting to feel overwhelmed by the love he felt from his friends and towards them again, Todd bumped Dirk’s shoulder with his.

“So, you wanna open your presents or finish eating first?” Todd asked.

Dirk’s eyes widened.

“There’s presents too!?”


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was basically: Christmas!Brotzly after season 2 inspired by Hurts' song “All I Want for Christmas is New Year's Day” + Dirk drunkenly confessing he loves Todd to which he replies “I know.”

Amanda furrowed her brows and stared at her brother. Her brother, who was basically a Grinch 364 days a year, was currently busy making sure the Christmas tree in his shitty little apartment, along with the other decorations and food, looked perfect. He had gone all out this Christmas. And all for the quirky detective who didn’t seem particularly interested in the tree, or the holiday at hand in general.

Amanda gave one final look at her brother, currently shooing Vogel away from the most delicate decorations and moved to sit next to Dirk on the couch.

“Hey, Dirk.” She greeted.

Dirk’s head snapped up immediately and a smile was plastered on his face. “Hello, ‘Manda!” He chirped.

Amanda handed Dirk a glass of eggnog, which Dirk only looked at with a curious expression.

Amanda laughed and placed the glass in Dirk’s hand. “You looked like you needed something to take the edge off.” She explained.

Dirk sniffed the eggnog. “There’s alcohol in this?” He asked.

Amanda snorted. “Yeah, Dirk, there’s alcohol in it.”

Dirk hummed and looked torn. Then he shrugged and took a sip. His face immediately scrunched up in surprise at the taste. Nevertheless, he took another sip, now a bit more confident.

Amanda laughed lightly. “There you go.”

“Thank you! It’s terrible but it makes me feel warm.” Dirk retorted.

Amanda rolled her eyes affectionetly. “That’s alcohol for you.”

A sudden crash from the other side of the room interrupted their chat. They both turned to watch as Todd screamed at Vogel for breaking a bauble. They both giggled.

“I’ll go save Vogel from Todd. Or Todd from Vogel… Either way, those two need to be away from each other for a while.” Amanda said and patted Dirk on the back before walking over to separate her brother and Vogel.

During the day, Dirk kept watching his friends. Amanda took Vogel away from Todd and the tree and walked him over to the rest of the rowdies on the other side of the apartment. Todd sighed frustrated and cleaned up the shards of bauble on the floor. Dirk smiled, enjoying his time with his friends, but a deep melancholy still lingered at the back of his mind. Upon hearing about Dirk’s lack of experience with Christmas, Todd had taken it upon himself to give him a proper, normal Christmas. But Dirk was distracted. This year had been hard. Hell, his whole life had been hard, but the unexpected return to Blackwing had really taken a toll on Dirk and he felt like the trauma kept creeping up on him in these quiet moments.

Deep in thought, Dirk kept sipping his eggnog and contemplating the year up to that point.

Suddenly Todd appeared in his field of vision and his train of thought was broken.

“Dirk?” Todd said.

“Yes, Todd?” Dirk replied very loudly, taking another sip of his eggnog.

“Didn’t you hear me? I was calling for you.” Todd explained.

“Oh. I must not have. Sorry. What did you say?” Dirk asked.

Todd shrugged. “Eh, it was nothing. Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes, of course! Must have been lost in thought.” Dirk replied nonchalantly.

“Are you having fun?” Todd asked.

“Sure.” Dirk replied, less than convincingly.

“Sure? It’s Christmas! You should be having fun.” Todd said.

“I’m sorry, Todd, I just haven’t exactly celebrated Christmas since I was a boy, I don’t have your affection towards the holiday. And to be totally candid… I’m more looking forward to the new year.” Dirk explained.

Todd sat down next to Dirk. “Yeah? Why?”

Dirk sighed. “I don’t know. I feel… Uneasy. This year has been… Hard, I guess. I just know that next year will be different. I don’t know if that’s good or bad but right now, I just want different. I need different.”

Todd nodded sympathetically. “I know these last few months have been really hard for you.” He said.

Dirk shrugged. “They have been hard on all of us. Wendimoor and all.” Dirk said and sipped his drink again.

“Well, sure, but Blackwing… That’s definitely hardest for you.” Todd pointed out.

Dirk gave a loud laugh. “Oh, yes. That bloody hellhole.” He said.

Todd looked surprised at Dirk’s words accompanied by inappropriate laughter.

Dirk laughed again. “I might be slightly pissed.” He said in between giggles.

Todd looked down at Dirk’s hands holding a now almost empty glass.

“Is that Amanda’s eggnog?” Todd asked.

“Indeedy.” Dirk replied.

Todd sighed. “That thing is more brandy than anything else.”

“That’s one of them harder liquors, eh?” Dirk asked, in an even harder accent than his normal one.

Todd blinked a few times. “Dirk… Have you ever drank alcohol before?” He asked.

Dirk pondered on this for a moment. “I think I sipped some beers whilst at uni. I have never been drunk though.” He explained and then hiccuped.

Todd laughed. “Oh God help me.”

“Can I have some more please?” Dirk asked and offered Todd his glass.

“I think you should take a break. Maybe have some water before you drink any more.” Todd said and took Dirk’s glass from him, placing it on the coffee table.

Dirk sighed. “Fine. But water doesn’t make me feel warm.” He complained.

Todd contemplated whether or not to say what he wanted to say next, but decided to go for it.

“Did you decide to drink now because of all the crap that’s made this year hard for you?” Todd asked.

Dirk groaned. “No. I didn’t even know what drunkedness feels like. Is that a word?” Dirk mumbled.

“Okay. Just asking. And no, it’s not.” Todd replied.

“Amanda said I looked like I needed it.” Dirk added.

Todd sighed. “She might’ve been right. But don’t make a habit of it, okay? Drinking doesn’t erase your problems. You’ll just have to deal with them later. And do it hungover. No fun. Take it from me.” He said.

“Promise.” Dirk said and crossed his heart.

“So, did you like any part of Christmas?” Todd asked.

Dirk gasped. “Oh Todd! I love that you tried to make Christmas for me. I know you did most of this”, Dirk said and gestured around the obnoxiously decorated room, “for my benefit and I appreciate it so much. I’m just tired. I just want to feel normal again.” He said quietly.

Todd patted Dirk on the back. “You will feel normal again, okay? Next year will be different, right? You’ll be fine. And I’ll be here to help.” He assured Dirk.

Dirk just stared at Todd, his eyes shining. He looked emotional. “You will be, won’t you?” He repeated.

“Yeah. Of course. If you couldn’t get rid of me because of all the time traveling and shit, there isn’t much that could rid you of me.” Todd laughed.

Suddenly Dirk launched himself at Todd and wrapped his arms around Todd’s neck. Todd was taken aback but quickly recovered and hugged the detective back.

“Thank you, Todd.” Dirk whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

“No problem.” Todd replied.

“No, really, Thank you.” Dirk pressed.

“Really, you’re welcome.” Todd laughed.

Dirk sighed. “I love you.”

After a moment of silence, it suddenly seemed to dawn on Dirk what he had just said and he quickly untangled himself from Todd and stood up, slightly swaying on his feet.

“Dirk, hey, calm down.” Todd laughed and took Dirk’s hands to pull him back down on the couch.

“Alcohol is the devil.” Dirk mumbled.

Todd laughed again. “I know.”

“I didn’t mean to say that.” Dirk added.

“It’s okay. I know.” Todd replied.

Dirk looked confused. “Know what?”

“I know, Dirk. And it’s okay.” Todd said.

Dirk stared at Todd for several seconds before speaking up again. “It is?”

Todd smiled. “Yeah. Totally. I mean… Me too.” He replied.

Dirk’s eyes widened. “You too?”

Todd nodded. “Yeah.”

Dirk smiled like the sun and his eyes watered.

“Should I fetch you guys some mistletoe?” Amanda called from the kitchen.

“Fuck off.” Todd mumbled and blushed.

“Cheers.” Amanda replied and chugged the rest of her eggnog while the rowdies laughed.

“I’m not an expert on Christmas so correct me if I’m wrong: it’s okay to kiss on Christmas even without mistletoe present?” Dirk asked.

Todd laughed. “Yeah, Dirk, it’s fine.”

Dirk lifted his brows in a question.

“Oh. You want- now?” Todd asked.

“Why not?” Dirk asked.

“Well, you’re drunk off your ass for one.” Todd chuckled.

Dirk moaned. “Accidentally! And I’m fine. Sober me wants to snog you all the time too.”

“All the time, huh?” Todd teased.

“You know what, maybe I should just get some more of this eggnog-“

“Oh come here you.” Todd laughed and pulled Dirk to him and planted a kiss on his lips.

After a moment, they pulled away, both smiling brightly.

“You know… I am enjoying Christmas after all, Todd. And I have a feeling next year will indeed be better than this one.”


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Riggins approaches Todd and says some creepy manipulative shit about how Todd should stay away from Dirk (because he's dangerous? Or just make up a reason) and the after effects that has on his and Dirk's relationship (happy ending would be great tho)."

Todd wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. He’d done a lot of shitty things in his life, yet not that much apologizing. Or crawling back, as he would categorize what he was about to do now.

He stared at the entrance of the hospital. Time to swallow his pride and talk to Dirk. But before he could take a step, he heard his name called out.

“Mr. Brotzman. May I take a moment of your time?” Colonel Riggins asked as he walked up to Todd, seemingly coming from inside the hospital.

Todd frowned. “You. You’re the Blackwing guy.”

“Colonel Riggins.” Riggins provided.

“Blackwing.” Todd repeated.

“Formerly with Blackwing, yes.” Riggins said.

“Which means I’m not talking to you.” Todd sad and turned to walk away from him.

“What I have to say is important.” Riggins insisted, stepping up to block Todd’s path.

“Oh, I’m sure.” Todd scoffed.

“Give me five minutes and then decide.” Riggins suggested.

Todd stared at him for a moment before giving a curt nod. Riggins lead him to a more secluded corner of the hospital parking lot.

“What’d you want?” Todd asked.

“Icarus is dangerous.” Riggins began.

“Who?” Todd asked.

“Right. Dirk. Dirk is dangerous.” Riggins corrected.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Todd replied.

“Ic- Dirk leaves a trail of injured and dead wherever he goes. It has been this way for a long time. His abilities are dangerous. It would be in your best interest to stay away from him.” Riggins explained.

Todd was silent for a moment, processing. “What do you mean dangerous?”

“The less you know, the better. All I’m saying is that innocent civilians shouldn’t be endangered because of an individual like Dirk Gently. If you hang around him, if you become a part of his life, you and those you care about will become collateral damage.” Riggins said.

Todd didn’t say anything more. He stared at his shoes, deep in thought. But he didn’t know what to think. He’d only known Dirk for a week in which he’d gotten enough information to know that Dirk was special and that it seemed to get him into plenty of trouble. But dangerous? He found it hard to believe. Maybe Todd didn’t know enough about him…

“If you know what’s best for you, you’d better stay away from Dirk Gently.” Riggins continued. “I’d hate to see decent people like you and your sister to get hurt by association.”

His sister? Would Amanda be in danger? Amanda wasn’t even talking to him at the moment. But she was spending her time with other holistic… Somethings.

When Todd finally looked up, Riggins was gone. That man had a way of appearing out of nowhere and disappearing just as fast.

Todd felt uncertain about the whole situation, but he thought he should give Dirk a chance to explain himself. Dirk had lied, yes, but Todd didn’t believe his intentions were bad, even when he was furious at him.

After a moment of reconnecting, Todd told Dirk Farah wanted to meet them and they made their way towards the car. Todd had already as good as agreed to continue to work with Dirk, but he suddenly felt unsure. He had made his choice before the talk from Riggins, but he had planted a seed of doubt into Todd’s mind.

“Hey, Dirk?” Todd said, not looking at Dirk but keeping his eyes on the road as he drove.

“Yes, Todd?” Dirk replied, his eyes immediately glued to Todd.

“That… Riggins guy came to talk to me earlier.” Todd said.

Dirk’s face paled. “O-oh?”

“Yeah and uh… Well, he said all this stuff about… You.” Todd said lamely.

“And?” Dirk prompted nervously.

“Well, he said something about you being… Dangerous.” Todd finally said.

Dirk closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “He’s right.”

Todd’s heart sank. “What?”

Dirk opened his eyes. “He’s right. I am dangerous.”

Todd didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t expecting this, despite Riggins’ warning. Dirk was dangerous. It made sense. Nobody had powers like Dirk’s and used them for good. It was too good to be true.

“You- okay… Uh. The Riggins guy told me to stay away from you. That… That you hurt people.” Todd said, hoping Dirk would explain.

“Right again.” Dirk said instead.

“So… What, you just… Hurt people? Is it… Is it like that Bart girl? The universe tells you to… To kill?” Todd asked carefully, his hands gripping the wheel tightly, his knuckles beginning to whiten.

“Oh God, no.” Dirk replied. “Blood makes me queasy. Besides, I grieve the flies that die between windows, I could hardly ever murder anyone.”

Todd blinked a few times. He could not make sense of the situation.

“Wait, what? So how do you hurt people then?” Todd asked.

It was Dirk’s turn to look surprised. “You thought I was a serial killer or something?”

“You just said you were dangerous and hurt people!” Todd exclaimed.

“Not on purpose! My God, Todd.” Dirk huffed.

“What do you mean then?” Todd asked.

Dirk took in a shakey breath. “My life is dangerous. I’m constantly in danger. And the people associated with me… Tend to get hurt. The universe protects me to an extent, but others… Aren’t as lucky. You’ve seen it. The death. The pain. It follows me wherever I go. I try my best to help people, but in doing so, I end up getting people hurt. Or worse. So yes, Todd, I am dangerous and I do hurt people. And I hate it.” Dirk explained quietly.

“But those things aren’t your fault?”

“How can you say that? You’ve experienced first hand what working with me is like. You almost died multiple times. That would not have happened had you not met me. I bring death and destruction with me. How is it not my fault?” Dirk replied with his eyes cast down.

Todd took a minute to collect his thoughts as he parked the car in the diner parking lot.

“The cases you take… The universe leads you to them, right?” Todd asked.

Dirk looked up at him. “Yes?”

“So, the people involved in those cases… You meet them because of the universe, right?” Todd continued.

“I guess?” Dirk replied.

“So, you could argue that the death and destruction is the universe’s fault.” Todd stated.

“But-“

“Dirk, if it weren’t for you, Lydia Spring would still be a dog. Or worse, dead. And I’m sure she’s not the only person you’ve saved.” Todd said.

“Yes, well-“

“What you do is help people. The universe is a dickhead. I’ve known that since before I even met you. People get hurt for no reason. They die for no reason. What you do is try to save people from that fate. You’re in a difficult position. You see more pain and death than most, but you don’t cause it.” Todd explained and tentatively squeezed Dirk’s shoulder.

“Why are you so sure of that? You barely know me.” Dirk whispered.

Todd shrugged. “Call it a hunch.” He smirked.

Dirk couldn’t help but smile in response.

“Come on. Farah’s waiting.” Todd said and gestured towards the diner.

They both got out of the car and started walking towards the diner.

So there was still a lot they had to learn about each other, but Todd was sure whatever secrets there were to Dirk, being anything remotely evil was not one of them. He reminded himself to punch that Riggins guy in the face the next time he showed up.


End file.
